


Sustain(ability)

by somethingnerdythiswaycomes



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Blow Jobs, Codependency, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, and Merlin and Arthur have a lot of problems, but it gets better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 10:38:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 77,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/952085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingnerdythiswaycomes/pseuds/somethingnerdythiswaycomes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Merlin's first year at uni, studying oceanography and living in a tiny flat with his axolotl Kilgarrah.  He's convinced it's going to be the best year of his life, up until he has a blow-up argument with Arthur No-last-name over axolotl care.  It only gets worse when they get partnered on a class project.  But Kilgarrah and Gaius don't stand for their rocky relationship.  And the rest, as they say, is Destiny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Merlin

The sun had been up for hours, the light filtering through the barely closed curtains and landing on the twin bed crammed into the corner of the room.  When he’d moved in a few weeks earlier, he had thought the corner furthest from the window would be the darkest, and thus let him sleep in the latest; he was wrong, he discovered, as the sunrise woke him the first morning there.  Finally he had learned to pull his quilt up over his head, just a few tufts of hair still visible.

When his eyes finally fluttered open, the sun was no longer shining directly though his window.  He stretched his arms above his head and smacked his lips, automatically reaching for the glass of water his mum would always put on his bedside table before she left for work.

Instead his fingers dipped into Kilgarrah’s tank, and the tiny beast nipped at his fingers. He giggled at the light touch and withdrew his hand so he could turn.  Kilgarrah’s mottled brown face was almost pressed to the side of the tank, his tail gently swinging behind him.

“You know you don’t hurt me when you bite me,” Merlin told him with a grin, dipping his fingers back into the tank to brush a finger lightly against the top of his head.  Kilgarrah turned and waddled away, completely ignoring his master.  Merlin laughed again; he knew axolotls weren’t the most social animals, but Kilgarrah took it a step beyond any others he had seen.

He lay in bed watching Kilgarrah for a while. He didn’t have a clock near his bed, didn’t have a clock in his flat at all actually, so he didn’t feel guilty about the day wasting away.

Until, at least, he realized that the day was wasting away.  He slid out of bed with some hesitance, but he was perfectly happy with his decision once his mug of tea was steeping.

After feeding himself, the next logical thing to do (not that Merlin was ever particularly logical) was to feed Kilgarrah.

“All we’ve got today are the food pellets,” Merlin told him, shaking a few of the little capsules into the tank.  Kilgarrah ignored the food and swam up to the surface of the water.

“I desire better sustenance, young warlock,” the axolotl commanded shrilly.  Merlin couldn’t hold back a grin; even after a year and a half of owning Kilgarrah, the axolotl’s high-pitched voice never failed to amuse him.

“I’ll go get you some minnows this week, all right?” Merlin replied, closing up the pellet container.

“I want them now,” Kilgarrah demanded.  Merlin’s good humor faded a bit; when Kilgarrah got like this, there was no way to keep him from what he wanted.  In this case, he wanted Merlin to go down to the pet store and get him some minnows.

“You’re lucky I’m your owner,” Merlin pointed out as he stalked to the pile of clean-ish clothes on his desk.  He shook out a pair of jeans and slipped them on, then selected a threadbare red t-shirt.  It was the middle of summer, and the pet store was only a couple of blocks away, so anything more wasn’t necessary.  Besides, he was only running out for ten minutes.  He didn’t need to dress up for that.

“Wear the blue shirt,” Kilgarrah ordered from across the flat.  Merlin rolled his eyes, glad that Kilgarrah couldn’t see him.  The axolotl hated when he was disrespectful.

“I’m not wearing that shirt,” Merlin called back.  “It’s too nice, and Mum got it for me.  I need to save it for when I go to visit.”

“Wear the blue shirt,” Kilgarrah repeated, his tail swishing with irritation when Merlin glanced back at him.

Merlin sighed again, making it loud enough for Kilgarrah to hear, and pulled the red shirt off again so he could put on the nice, dark blue button-down his mother had given him for his birthday.  She had said it complemented his eyes.

“Are you happy now?” Merlin asked, turning around with his arms spread, waiting for Kilgarrah’s approval.

Of course, the axolotl didn’t answer.  He merely retreated under the surface of the water and started shuffling in lazy circles around his tank.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Merlin called to him as he slipped on a pair of shoes.  It was warm out, so his usual jacket and scarf weren’t necessary.  Kilgarrah flicked his tail, but otherwise didn’t respond.

Merlin made sure to lock his flat behind him, a practice he wasn’t used to, before jogging down the three flights of stairs and out onto the street.  The pet store was just at the end of the next block, and he was sure it would only take a minute or so to reach it.

The feeder fish were against the far wall, the different varieties swimming in separate tanks.  Rosy red minnows were Kilgarrah’s favorite; luckily, there were a couple of tanks of them, and he could get enough for Kilgarrah for the next few weeks.

At the end of the aisle, studying the tanks of damsels and severums, was the most beautiful man Merlin had ever seen.  His blond hair shone in the fluorescent lights, his broad shoulders filling out the red polo shirt he was wearing.  His blue eyes were soft, his face relaxed as he watched the fish, an expression of peace Merlin hadn’t seen on anyone else.  He knew he was staring, but felt he was safe; there was no one else in the store, and the man was so focused on the fish he was barely even blinking.

Then the man’s eyes slid over to fix on Merlin.  He looked away quickly, feeling a blush rise in his cheeks as he looked again on the minnows.  He pretended to be focused on the fish, even though there wasn’t much to look at, until he felt those glorious blue eyes leave him again.  He breathed a sigh of relief and went over to the cashier to get his feeders.

He was faced with a challenge when he was presented with 10 little bags of minnows, and no larger bag to carry them in.  He tried to fit them all into his arms, but when he managed to pile the 8th bag on he almost dropped them all.

“I think you could use some help,” a wonderful, smooth, faintly amused voice said from his side.  He glanced over, and almost dropped the bags again when he saw the man from before standing beside him with a small smile on his perfectly shaped lips.

“T-that would be nice,” Merlin replied, mentally cursing his stutter.  The man took half of the bags from him, and then raised an eyebrow when Merlin made no attempts at moving.

“Are you ready to go?” And oh, that accent was utterly delicious.  Merlin knew his “country talk” could be hard to understand, but this man sounded so _cultured_.

“Yes,” Merlin said hurriedly, going to the door, the man trailing behind him.

“I’m Arthur,” the man – Arthur - told him as they walked down the street.  They had somehow fallen into step side by side, allowing Merlin a nice view of his profile.

“Merlin,” Merlin said in response after a pointed look from Arthur.

“So,” Arthur says in a slight drawl, “what pet do you need all these minnows for?”

“Oh, it’s an axolotl,” Merlin replied a little absentmindedly, preparing to go into an explanation of what they were.

“Wild, melanoid, white, or albino?” Arthur asked, interest clear in his voice.  Merlin had to forcibly stop himself from gaping.

“Wild,” he said after a beat, a small smile curving his lips.  “Do you have any pets?”

“No,” Arthur said shortly.  Merlin carefully left that line of discussion alone.

“Are you a student?” He asked instead, hoping he was correctly guessing Arthur’s age.

“Yeah, at Albion.”

Merlin couldn’t stop the grin from spreading on his face.  “So am I.”

Arthur looked over at him, just as they stopped at the main door to Merlin’s building.  “Then we’ll probably see each other on campus.”  He had a soft smile on his face, eyes focused on Merlin’s face.

Merlin felt himself blush again.  “I-I hope so.”

Arthur chuckled, his eyes lighting up.  And, dear God, Merlin just wanted to ask him to dinner, or ask for his number, or _anything_ , but Arthur was probably just being friendly.  But then again, there was no harm in trying.

Just as he opened his mouth to ask, Arthur glanced up at the building.  “What floor are you on?”

“Fourth,” Merlin replied, a little despondently, and used a touch of magic so he could open the door without dislodging any of the bags in his arms.  Arthur followed him into the dark stairwell, and they didn’t really speak as they slogged their way up the stairs.

Finally, when they reached Merlin’s door, Arthur spoke again.  “What are you studying?”

“Oceanography, focusing on conservation,” Merlin replied with a small smile, as he did every time he thought of his course of study.

“I’m studying business management,” Arthur told him as Merlin got his door open and went inside.  “But I’m taking a—” he cut off suddenly when he stepped inside.  Merlin bit his lip, thinking the mess was disgusting him.  “Why is your axolotl all alone?”

Merlin was surprised by the anger in his voice.  “He doesn’t like other axolotls.”

“But then he’s lonely.  That’s not healthy.”

“He’s not lonely,” Merlin protested, putting his bags into his feeder tank one by one.  “He’s perfectly happy with just me.”

“And all these feeder fish are just for him?” Arthur asked, sounding scandalized, even as he followed Merlin to the tank.

“Of course, he likes feeder fish.”

“But they’re rosy red minnows!”

“So?  They’re his favorite, and he’s still all jumbled up from the move, so he deserves it.”

“But they’re high in thiaminase, so they destroy too much of vitamin B1, and that causes nutritional imbalances!”

“He’s perfectly healthy!” Merlin squawked, glancing over at Kilgarrah, who remained silent.  “He would have let me know if something was wrong!”

“And how is he supposed to let you know?” Arthur demanded, putting his feeders in the tank gently.

“He would tell me, all right?” Merlin snapped.  “He’s perfectly happy, and there’s nothing wrong with his vitamin levels!”

“You wouldn’t know if he was lonely; it’s not like he can just say it!”

“How can he be lonely?  He has me here, doesn’t he?”

“That’s not what I meant, you idiot—”

“I’m not an idiot!  You’re a clotpole!”

“What does that even _mean_?” Arthur yelled, and before Merlin could explain, he stormed out without a backwards glance, slamming the apartment door behind him hard enough to knock over the umbrella leaning against the wall.

Merlin groaned and threw himself back onto the bed, scowling up at the ceiling.

“I can’t believe I thought he was hot,” he complained, kicking off his shoes.  “He’s the biggest prat in the history of prats.  I’ll be lucky if I never have to see him again.”

“One cannot hate that which truly makes him whole,” Kilgarrah told him gleefully.

“What does that even mean?” Merlin asked half-heartedly, unintentionally echoing Arthur’s last words to him.  He sighed and sat up, shuffling to the feeder tank to get one of the minnows out and transfer it to Kilgarrah’s tank.

“You are two sides of the same coin,” Kilgarrah added, then started chasing the minnow around his tank.

“I don’t want to be anything with him,” Merlin replied, more despondent than angry, and lay back on the bed again.  He watched Kilgarrah chase the minnow, but closed his eyes before the axolotl managed to catch it.

 


	2. Arthur

Arthur stormed down the stairs, his face set in a grimace.  He focused on navigating the narrow staircase, and _not_ on the disappointment welling up in his chest, the deflated bubble of hope that finally—

He slammed the door to the street open, noting with satisfaction the loud crash of the heavy door connecting with the brick wall.  He was hit with a flash of remorse when he saw the scratches the brick had left on the door as the door swung shut behind him, but it was too late now, and he was still angry enough that he was able to brush off his conscience.

Oh, he had had so much hope when he saw Merlin in the pet store.  He’d been concentrating so much on the different fish, making sure he picked ones that were completely healthy.  His bottom lip had been caught between his teeth, his messy hair just brushing the tips of his ridiculous ears, and his shirt that brought out the wonderful blue of his eyes—

Arthur shook his head roughly to dispel the thoughts.  Merlin was rude, and argumentative, and didn’t know how to properly care for his axolotl and didn’t care to learn.  He was messy and didn’t know how to clean up after himself and by the number of takeaway boxes in his trashcan he obviously didn’t even know how to cook for himself.  He could probably use someone to teach him, or even cook for him—

Arthur growled, causing the girl walking past him to hurry her pace.  There was nothing appealing about Merlin, nothing at all.  Not his adorably ruffled hair.  Not his gentle blue eyes.  Not his long fingers, not his slim figure, not his incredible cheekbones.  Nothing.

He opened the door to his own flat with just marginally more care than he had Merlin’s, but made sure it didn’t slam into the wall.  If nothing else, the landlord would kill them.  Gwaine wouldn’t care.

The sofa squeaked as he settled back on it with a sigh, toeing off his shoes before putting his feet on the coffee table.  He leaned his head against the back of the couch, staring at the pristine white ceiling.  He closed his eyes against that unbearable, stark white; immediately Merlin’s face swam into his view.

He sighed heavily.  It wasn’t even the loss of a one-off with an attractive guy.  It was the loss of this point of light, of something to bring him out of this slump.  Spending those few scant moments with Merlin was more exciting than all of his last week combined.  Gwaine was exciting, sure, but more often than not, time with him just led to bad decisions that Arthur regretted as soon as his mind was clear.  All the memory of his time with Merlin, before the argument of course, made him feel warm, like he was sitting just a bit too close to a roaring fire.

He opened his eyes, hoping there was something he could focus on to break away from the renewed disappointment.  His gaze immediately settled on the empty tank against the wall; his beautiful neon damselfish had died a few weeks ago, and he couldn’t bring himself to replace her yet.  He had tried today, when he went to the store, but it was still too difficult to think of welcoming another pet.  His Gwen had gotten him through a lot of hardship, and he wasn’t sure if another fish would be up to the task.

And that was too painful.  He looked away, at the empty coat hooks by the door.  Gwaine hadn’t been back last night. He probably got himself invited to some woman’s flat, and was still there.  He probably wouldn’t be back until the afternoon, maybe the evening, possibly the next morning.

Grumpily he nudged at his stack of books on the coffee table, and was almost gleeful when the pile of business books tumbled to the side and left only his ‘Marine Invertebrates’ text book sitting there.  A smile curled his lips; finally, after a year of business class after business class, he’d convinced his father that a marine biology class would help Further the Interests of the Company, and he’d been allowed to enroll in it.  If Merlin was a freshman in the oceanography course, he would probably be enrolled in that class.  Maybe they’d see each other again.

He viciously squashed the hope welling up inside him.  He didn’t want to see Merlin again, he really didn’t.  Even if he didn’t hate Merlin, which he did, then Merlin surely hated him.

He sighed again, made a mental note to stop sighing so much, and levered himself off the couch.  He needed to clean up the flat before his father came to visit the day after tomorrow.  It wasn’t dirty, per se, but if anyone would find the one, unnoticed spot of dust, it would be Uther Pendragon.  He dug out the cleaning supplies and started viciously scrubbing every surface in the flat.

That night he fell into bed, his clothes from the day folded and put into his hamper, and his clothes for the next day hanging on the hook on the outside of his closet.  He smoothed the comforter out over himself, making it as wrinkle-free as possible.  He fell asleep quickly, as per usual.

And when he woke up the next morning, he slid out of bed immediately, automatically, face blank.  There wasn’t anything to look forward to that day, not really.  But he had been taught not to waste time in bed.


	3. Merlin

Merlin walked out of his first class of the day, Earth and Ocean Systems, with a bright smile on his face.  His classmates had considerably less energy; it was an early class after all.  But even Merlin’s lifelong hatred of rising before noon couldn’t suppress the bounce in his step.  He was finally in uni, taking classes he enjoyed instead of just Maths and Literature and all those things that didn’t matter.

He bent his arm to look at the watch he had bought from the corner store the day before, then chuckled to himself as he saw he’d forgotten it.  “Kilgarrah will never let me hear the end of this,” he muttered to himself, still grinning, before shrugging to himself.  He probably had time to get a pastry before his next class.  There was twenty minutes passing time between the classes.  He definitely had time.

He walked slightly faster than normal to the coffee shop on the far side of campus, slipping in front of a large group that was just getting into line.  There weren’t that many people waiting, so it should go quickly.  Merlin smiled to himself, happy that he’d be able to get something to eat.  In the homey comfort of the coffee shop, with quiet jazz playing in the background, he stopped worrying about the time.

At least, he did until he noticed the clock in the corner of the room.  His eyes widened; class started in two minutes, and it was halfway across the campus.  He ran out from the line, still a few people from ordering, and dashed out the door.  He really needed to remember his watch next time, if twenty minutes was always going to go this fast!

He tore into the building for his Marine Invertebrates class, trying wildly to remember what room it was in.  243?  245?  He ran up the stairs, still trying to figure it out, and anxious he’d burst into the wrong class by accident.

His fears were assuaged when he stopped between the two rooms, as only one had a class in it.  He pulled the door open, hoping the class hadn’t started yet, and heard the professor calling the roll.  He hurried to the only open seat in the back of the room, keeping his eyes on the steps on the sides of the lecture hall so he wouldn’t trip and embarrass himself further.

He slid into the open seat with a huff, pulling his backpack off and dropping it with a thump on the ground.  The girl to his right scoffed at him and scooted her chair away from him.  Merlin rolled his eyes and pulled out the books he needed.  He placed them on the desk in front of him, glancing up at the professor at the front of the room just as he called, “Arthur—“

“Here,” said the person to Merlin’s right, his voice achingly familiar and still as beautiful as the first time Merlin had heard it.  His body stiffened; he turned his head slowly to look at Arthur, who was staring back at him with a raised eyebrow.

“You,” Merlin hissed, eyes narrowing.  “What are you doing here?”

“I happen to be enrolled in this class,” Arthur told him, his voice practically dripping condescension.   His eyes flicked to the front of the room and then back to Merlin.

“But you’re a business major!” Merlin squawked, flapping one of his hands and making the pages of Arthur’s notebook flutter in a magical wind.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t take an oceanography class!”

“It means you should be taking _business_ classes, you—”

The professor broke into their argument before it could get any worse.  “I believe the young man making a ruckus back there is Merlin Emrys?”

“Here,” Merlin called back, turning away from Arthur to look at the professor.  He received an utterly unimpressed eyebrow raise in return.  Merlin’s ears turned red as he hunched his shoulders a bit, trying to make himself smaller.

“Yes.  I can hear that.” The professor started shuffling his papers around, obviously looking for the stack of syllabi.  “I’m Dr. Gaius Alyston, your professor for Marine Invertebrates this semester.  Please call me Gaius.”

Merlin, shamefully, tuned out after that.  He read the syllabus as soon as they were passed to the back of the room.  He read over the important dates and glossed over the project section.  He was sure it wasn’t overly important.

He glanced out of the corner of his eye at Arthur, even though every instinct was screaming at him not to.  Obviously he’d never be able to get along with Arthur, so he definitely didn’t care what Arthur was doing.  He just wanted to know.

Arthur, as it turned out, was staring at the front of the room too.  He was writing down notes on the syllabus from what Professor Gaius was saying, and Merlin probably should have been listening but he couldn’t be bothered.  He couldn’t stop the small scowl on his face, taking in Arthur’s shining blond hair and his bright blue eyes and his unfairly smooth skin.

Arthur’s eyes slid over to him.  Merlin didn’t look away.  He just kept watching him silently, hoping no one else around them could see how pathetic he was.  Then, almost simultaneously, they turned slightly towards each other.  The corner of Arthur’s mouth twitched into what might have been a smile.  Merlin scrunched his nose a little, just to see if he could make Arthur smile for real.

Abruptly, Merlin remembered he hated Arthur.  He looked back to the front of the room, his cheeks heating up, and started taking the most thorough notes in the history of note-taking so he wouldn’t be tempted to look at Arthur again.

He could feel Arthur’s clear blue eyes on him still, and Arthur wasn’t taking notes.  Merlin was hyperaware of the 30 centimeters of space between them, the 15 centimeters between Merlin’s left pinkie and Arthur’s unmoving right hand.  He felt like it would be so easy, and yet so difficult, to just reach across those 15 centimeters, just 150 millimeters, and _touch_ him.

It wasn’t a nice feeling.  His magic was bubbling in his stomach, distracting him.  He felt like he was shaking and he couldn’t tell if he really was.  He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath, then opened them again and forced his magic back into its tiny box inside him.  He chanced a glance at Arthur, who was still watching him, and his magic burst out again.

He resigned himself to the swirling and boiling inside of him and continued writing down everything Gaius told them.


	4. Arthur

_Dammit dammit dammit dammit_.  Arthur couldn’t think beyond that one word and Merlin’s presence beside him.  It was all he could think of for the entire class.  It was ridiculous.  Merlin, who had come in late and obviously didn’t care about the class that Arthur was lucky to be allowed to take.  Merlin, who hadn’t had the decency to even brush his hair, and the tousled mess in the corner of Arthur’s eye kept forcing him to look over.  Merlin, who was chewing on the end of his pen and tapping a foot on the floor as if he had no idea what he was doing to Arthur.

And, Arthur thought sourly, he really didn’t.  Merlin hadn’t even looked over at him the entire lecture.  Arthur knew; he was watching.  Once, Arthur had met his eyes, but Merlin had looked away again immediately as if unaware that he was taking Arthur’s emotional stability with him.  Towards the end, Arthur finally managed to tear his eyes away from Merlin’s profile and his cheekbones and focus on the blackboard at the front of the room.  He hurriedly scribbled down what Gaius had written on the board without really absorbing it.  He wasn’t worried, though; he went to Gaius’s open office hours all the time to talk about what he was teaching, so he knew he could get the lecture notes from him.

He had to do something to get Merlin to look at him.  Making a fool of himself was out of the question; that would do nothing to impress him.  He wasn’t even sure how to make a fool of himself.  His entire life had been about not making a fool of himself, and going against that now made his skin crawl.

So that’s out of the question.  Why can’t he just start a conversation?  He chats up women at his father’s parties all the time, it shouldn’t be too difficult to talk to Merlin.  He just has to stop himself from saying anything offensive, which hasn’t been going so well, actually.  He’s sure he can do it, though.  He has to, if he wants Merlin to notice him.

What can he talk about? He sifted through the usual conversation topics he uses when he’s trying to impress someone—not that he’s trying to impress Merlin.  Politics seem a little out of Merlin’s reach.  Literature and theatre, too.  Gossip from his father’s circle wouldn’t mean anything to Merlin.  Okay, something from what he knows about Merlin.  Anything to do with the ocean is too expected.  That wouldn’t be able to hold Merlin’s attention.  He doesn’t seem the type for football.  What kind of films would he watch?  What is even out playing?  No, Arthur thinks vehemently, he’s not going to talk about films.  Merlin will think he’s asking him to go see one and Arthur does not want to go to the movies with Merlin.

Except, Arthur amends as his gaze again slides over to Merlin, he really does.

He takes that thought, wraps it up tightly so he can’t get to it, and shoves it into the furthermost corner of his consciousness.  He’ll need to think about it someday, maybe, if he ever gets Merlin to look at him without glaring.  But that day is not today.  Today he needs to focus on talking to Merlin.

He’ll talk about something from the telly.  Everyone watches something on the telly.  Doctor Who, everyone watches Doctor Who, or at least knows something about it.  Even his father watches Doctor Who.  If Merlin doesn’t watch Doctor Who, he can ask why not and they’d still be talking.  But Merlin has to watch Doctor Who.  Did he see any Doctor Who things in Merlin’s flat?  No, it doesn’t matter, plenty of people watch programmes without owning anything from it.

He notices Gaius stepping back behind the desk at the front of the room: his signal that the lecture’s about to end.  Arthur swallows nervously, shuffling his papers in front of him so Merlin wouldn’t see he didn’t take notes.  Just in case Merlin looks over at him.  Which he won’t.

“And that concludes today’s lesson.  Please read chapters three and four before the next lecture,” Gaius tells them, putting his notes back in his bag.

Arthur counts to three in his head, so he won’t look over-eager, and then looks at Merlin.  “So, did you hear—”

But in those three seconds Merlin had jumped out of his seat, shoved his notebook into his messenger bag, and darted down the steps of the lecture theatre.

Arthur stops talking, his mouth still open as he watches Merlin almost run out of the room.  When people begin to stare, he closes his mouth and clears his throat, trying to exude an air of indifference.  He didn’t care if Merlin ran out like that.  Maybe Merlin has another class to go to.  He probably just doesn’t want to be late for that class as well.  It’s perfectly fine that Merlin ran out before Arthur could talk to him.  It doesn’t matter.

Arthur turned back to his own books and shoved them into his bag without the code of neatness he usually lived by.  It doesn’t matter.  He’d be taking them out again as soon as he got home to read the chapters.  He could still feel the burn of humiliation in his chest, his cheeks stinging red.  And he couldn’t get the embarrassment to die down, no matter how many times he told himself _it didn’t matter_.

He wouldn’t let this happen again.  Obviously he and Merlin were never going to get along.  Merlin was just rude, running away when someone was trying to talk to him.  He could never be friends with someone that rude, never mind _dating_ him. That thought was shoved into the same corner as the movies-with-Merlin one.

Next lecture, he’d make sure to get here early so he could sit between two people, and there would be no chance of Merlin sitting next to him.  He’d sit in the middle of a mass of people.  Merlin would be on the complete opposite side of the lecture theatre.  It would be better that way.

He sighed, made a note in his phone that he really needed to stop sighing, because he knew that Merlin would draw all of his attention no matter how far away he was sitting.


	5. Merlin

“Professor Gaius?” Merlin asked hesitantly, knocking lightly on the slightly-open office door.

“Yes?” the professor replied, so Merlin opened the door a little further.  He was afforded a better view of the room; it was lined with ceiling-high bookshelves, some filled with books and others with tanks of any manner of water animal.  He watched the Conspicuous Angel in the tank in the corner of the room, the light from the small desk lamp reflecting back off of its golden scales.

“Mr. Emrys?” Gaius asked again, startling Merlin enough for him to bump the door, which clattered against the shelves behind it.

“Sorry, I was looking at your Conspicuous.  It’s very beautiful,” he replied quietly, stepping into the office.  He took special care to walk carefully, not wanting to break anything.

Gaius turned slightly to look at the fish, a smile curling his lips for a moment.  “Yes, she was given to me by a good friend.  She is more golden than many others.  It gives her quite an ethereal look, doesn’t it?”

“Oh yes, it’s astonishing!  One day I hope I can afford one of them.  It’s always been a dream of mine.  I’d need to get another tank just for it, but I wouldn’t mind at all.”

“Do you have a fish already?” Gaius asked, closing the folder of papers in front of him and setting his pen on top.  Merlin moved closer, stopping right in front of his desk.

“Not a fish,” Merlin replied, sitting in the squishy chair that Gaius offered to him.  “I have an axolotl.  His name’s Kilgarrah.”

“An axolotl, that’s rather rare here,” Gaius told him with his eyebrows raised.  “Not many even know what they are.”

“They’re the best, though, especially for students!” Merlin enthused.  “They don’t need that much feeding, and they’re pretty to look at, and Kilgarrah cheers me up when I’ve gotten a bad mark.”

“They are very soothing,” Gaius replied with a chuckle.  He looked up at the Conspicuous again, and gestured at it.  “Staring at Alice calms me just as well.  It’s the light reflecting off her scales, I think.  Axolotls tend to move in circular patterns, a rather calming motion.”

“Oh no, he’ll just talk to me about destiny,” Merlin said with a small shrug.  “It’s nice to know that I’m still destined for great things when I just failed a maths test.”

“You talk to him?”

“He talks to me, usually.  I try not to encourage him.”

Gaius studied him for a moment, then smiled gently.  “Ah, you have magic.”

Merlin paused, his back stiffening and a blush heating his cheeks.  “W-well, what I meant to say was…”

“It’s quite all right, Mr. Emrys.  There’s nothing wrong with magic.  I’ve been known to use a little when one of my pets isn’t feeling well,” Gaius replied soothingly, wiggling his fingers to show his own use of magic.  Merlin relaxed again, a grin spreading across his face.

“I wasn’t sure how people here felt about magic, because I just arrived a few weeks ago.  I lived in a village, you see, and people didn’t mind it, so long as I helped the crops grow and the cows give milk.  I wasn’t sure how everyone in the cities felt about it.”

“Oh there are some that hate it, absolutely hate it, so don’t go telling everyone about your little powers.”

“I won’t!” Merlin replied, perhaps a little too loudly, at the thought of betraying himself like that.  “Mum told me all about how to keep it hidden.  She’s worried, but I told her I’d be fine.”

Gaius nodded.  “Good.  Now, what did you come to my office for?”

“Oh, sorry!” Merlin said, blushing darkly again.  “I came to say sorry for being late, I was trying to get food and I left my watch at my flat, and then I couldn’t find the room.”

“I understand it’s your first day, no harm done.  Try not to make it a habit, Mr. Emrys.”

“You can call me Merlin,” Merlin replied with a sunny smile.  Gaius raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“All right, Merlin.”  Gaius paused for a moment, then continued, “I saw yesterday that you’re acquainted with my godson.”

“Godson?” Merlin asked, his nose wrinkling slightly as he thought about whom he’d been around in Gaius’s lecture the day before.  Then it hit him.  “Oh God, it’s Arthur, isn’t it.”

“Yes, Arthur is my godson.  How did you two meet?  I was under the impression that all of his friends were from his football team or his courses.”

Merlin felt heat creeping up the back of his neck, and he knew he was blushing even worse.  “Er, we met at the pet store.  I was getting some feeder fish.  He helped me carry them back home.”

Gaius nodded, giving absolutely nothing away on his face.  “That was kind of him.  You two didn’t seem very friendly though, not at all like he had helped you.”

Merlin wondered for a moment why he was actually telling Gaius anything, and then dismissed it.  Gaius seemed trustworthy; he probably wouldn’t tell Arthur.  Probably.  “Well, he started going off at me about how the feeders I got Kilgarrah had too much of some vitamin or other, and then how Kilgarrah was lonely because he didn’t have any tank mates, and I told him I kept Kilgarrah company and that made him fu-flippin’ mad, and he stormed out.”

“Sometimes,” Gaius said slowly, staring into Merlin’s eyes in a way that should have been unnerving, but instead managed to be calming.  “Arthur tries to help when he isn’t welcome.  He honestly thought he was helping you care for Kilgarrah better.  He was just… misguided.  He doesn’t have many friends.”

“Well neither do I,” Merlin said with a small, unconscious pout.  “But I don’t go around telling people they’re caring for their ‘lotls wrong.”

“Give him the benefit of the doubt,” Gaius reiterated.  “Don’t hold a grudge against him because of that first meeting.  He gets better… Well, he gets less abrasive as time goes on.”

Merlin shrugged non-commitally.  Gaius raised an eyebrow at him.  Merlin sighed and pursed his lips.  “Fine, I’ll give him another chance.  He needs to stop staring at me, though.  It’s creepy.”  The nose wrinkling was back, making Gaius chuckle and shake his head.

“He gets better with time,” Gaius told him again.  “You just need a chance to get to know him.”

“If you say so,” Merlin replied, and then glanced past Gaius at the clock wedged in between two books on fish diseases.  “Oh, I need to go call Mum.  I promised I’d do it before she went to work.”

“I’ll see you in lecture Thursday,” Gaius told him, picking up his pen again and starting to shift through his piles of paperwork.  Merlin stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder, nodding cheerfully.

“I’m looking forward to it,” Merlin replied, too heartfelt to be brown-nosing.  Gaius offered him a small smile and Merlin offered him a wide grin before turning to squeeze through the tanks and shelves to get to the door.  It swung open just before he reached it; Merlin froze, his eyes widening when he saw Arthur backed by the brighter light of the hallway.  His stomach flipped, making him grimace.

Arthur was doing that staring thing again.  Merlin tried to figure out if he could squeeze past Arthur, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to without knocking something over.  He swallowed nervously and stepped back into the office proper, letting Arthur move towards him and into the bigger space by Gaius’s desk.

“Hello, Arthur.  You’re a bit early for our chat,” Gaius said with a fond smile, flicking on the electric kettle at the edge of his desk.  Arthur tore his eyes away from Merlin long enough to return Gaius’s smile.  Merlin used the opportunity to take a tentative step towards the door.  Arthur’s gaze flicked back to him almost immediately; Merlin froze again.

“I’ll see you Thursday, Merlin,” Gaius said when he saw Merlin was still standing there, snapping him out of his daze.

“Yes, right.  Thursday.”  Merlin replied before scurrying out of the room, his bag swinging at his side and barely missing the tank of newts by the door.  He stopped and let out a breath when he was out in the hallway, the heat of Arthur’s eyes on him gone.

He glanced back into Gaius’s office, but Arthur wasn’t visible.  He’d probably sat in the chair by Gaius’s desk.  The one Merlin had been sitting in.  Merlin turned abruptly and walked down the hall to the stairwell.  He didn’t care where Arthur was sitting.  Arthur was a prat.

Merlin grimaced again.  He should probably give Arthur another chance, just in case Gaius was right about him.  Maybe, then, that weird feeling in his stomach would go away; it had to be hate making his stomach roil.  I mean, there was no way it could be anything other than hate.  He’d known Arthur for less than a week, and so far all Arthur had done was yell at him and stare at him.  Well, there had been those first few minutes, when Merlin was wondering what Arthur’s lips would taste like.

Merlin squashed those memories ruthlessly.  It was hate, and that was the end of it.


	6. Arthur

Arthur settled into his customary chair in Gaius’s office, his backpack resting upright against the side of the chair.  He tugged his shirt straight - not that it had been out of place before - and then glanced up at Gaius.  He looked faintly amused, which was never a good thing to get from Gaius.

Before Gaius could say anything, Arthur spoke up.  “Can I copy down your lecture notes?”

And there went the eyebrow.  Arthur barely kept himself from cringing.

“And why didn’t you take your own notes?”

“I kept spacing out… didn’t get enough sleep last night,” Arthur lied, a blush heating his cheeks.  Well, half-lied.  He didn’t get enough sleep last night.  He kept thinking about Merlin, and wondering if he would see him on campus, and it took him ages to settle down enough to sleep.  He had also been spacing out, but that was because of Merlin, too.  So both related to why he hadn’t taken notes.  And both were because of Merlin.

“Make sure you get a good night’s sleep Wednesday; I’d hate for you to miss out on another day’s lecture,” Gaius replied, obviously not believing Arthur’s reasoning.  He started to rifle through the stack of papers and folders on the side of his desk.  Arthur let out a sigh of relief, sure Gaius was going to let it go.  Gaius could always be trusted to respect boundaries.  “Or perhaps you shouldn’t sit next to Merlin.”

Arthur groaned out loud.  So much for respecting boundaries.

“He seems like a perfectly nice young man, but I don’t understand why you had to stare at him like that just because he was late.”

That made Arthur slouch down in his chair.  Gaius _knew_ , somehow, and he obviously wasn’t going to let it go.  But Gaius had been lecturing at the time, and Arthur and Merlin had been at the back of the room.  How had he seen?  It couldn’t have been that obvious that Arthur was staring at him, could it?  No, Arthur reassured himself, pressing his lips together.  It couldn’t have been that obvious.  Someone else would have noticed, too.

Merlin was in here before him, though.  Maybe Merlin had said something about Arthur, asking if he could be taken out of the class?  And, oh God, Gaius probably told Merlin who he was.  That was why Merlin wanted to get away from him so quickly when he was leaving the office.  He knew about Arthur, and his dad’s company, and now he hated him.  Well, he had hated him before, but now he really actually did, and Arthur wouldn’t be able to fix it.

“Or maybe there was some other reason you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him.  Maybe you were too sleep deprived to muster the energy to look away.”

Arthur slid further down in his seat, bringing a hand up to cover his eyes.  This couldn’t be happening, there was no way this was actually happening.  Gaius didn’t just know Arthur had been staring at Merlin, he knew _why_.  God, maybe that was why Merlin didn’t want anything to do with him.  He probably was straight and freaked out by the guy staring at him and trying to flirt with him.

But Merlin had seemed so receptive that first time, when Arthur helped him carry the feeders.  It was like he was actually flirting back.  Well, obviously that assumption had been wrong.  Merlin was probably just being friendly, and Arthur’s over-sexualized mind had twisted it into flirting.  His father always said it would get him in trouble.  That was why Merlin had run out; he was afraid Arthur would try it again.  And he hadn’t wanted to be in Gaius’s office at the same time, had stepped away from Arthur when he was trying to come in and then squeezed past him, careful not to even brush against him…

Arthur groaned again and pulled his hand away from his face, ignoring the look Gaius gave him.

“I’m an idiot,” he muttered mournfully, watching as Gaius dug two mugs out from the shelf next to his desk and dropped tea bags into them.

“You aren’t an idiot, Arthur.  Not even if you can’t find a way to talk to an exceptionally friendly young man.”

Arthur fell forward this time, purposefully banging his head on the edge of the desk.  “I’m nineteen.  I should be able to talk to the bloke sitting next to me in class.”

“Becoming an adult doesn’t magically make you better at communication,” Gaius reminded him, rehashing one of their old discussions.  The kettle dinged to show the water was heated; Gaius picked it up and poured the boiling water into their mugs then placed it back on the base.  Arthur reached for his.  Gaius knocked his hand away, making Arthur sigh.  Gaius had always been overly concerned about drinking tea that was too hot.

“I wish it did.  This would be a lot easier if I could just say something to him without making him want to stab me in the neck with his pen.”

Gaius raised an eyebrow.  “I doubt Merlin has the ill will in him necessary to stab anyone in the neck, nevermind with a pen.”

Arthur sighed heavily, watching the steam rise from the mismatched mugs.  One he had made himself, before his father decided anything artsy or crafty was a waste of a six year old’s brain functions.  There were green blobs painted on it, meant to be dragons.  The other was a much more conservative blue-and-grey striped mug, a gift from Arthur’s father to Gaius ages ago.  Gaius passed the blue and grey one to Arthur.  He hid a smile behind the lip of the mug; Gaius had always loved the dragon mug, even though it embarrassed Arthur when anyone else would see it.

Arthur took his mug gratefully, holding it under his nose to breathe the steam in.

“Try talking to Merlin again.  Like a normal person, Arthur.  Don’t just stare at the poor boy.”

“I didn’t mean to stare at him,” Arthur muttered petulantly, taking a sip of the tea after it had cooled just enough.  “I was trying to think of something to talk to him about after class ended and I couldn’t think of anything for a while.  I was _focusing_ , not staring.”

“And did you decide on what to talk to Merlin about?”

“ _Doctor Who_ ,” Arthur replied, trying to keep the triumph he felt out of his voice.  Gaius sighed softly.  “What’s wrong with _Doctor Who_?”

“Couldn’t you have tried talking about oceanography?  That certainly would have drawn him into a conversation.”

“I thought it would seem too desperate, because of the class,” Arthur told him, only then realizing how stupid that reason was.

“You need to stop overthinking this,” Gaius said sternly, taking a sip of tea from his dragon mug.  “That’s always been your problem.  You have to treat him like a normal person, which he is.  He isn’t some magical being you have to be afraid of upsetting.  Just talk to him about whatever comes to mind.  Something he has the possibility of being interested in, granted, but don’t obsess over it.  You think too much, Arthur.  You know you do.”

“I can’t just stop thinking,” Arthur protested weakly, taking a long gulp of his tea to stop from having to say anything else.

Gaius was unimpressed.  “Arthur,” he reproached.

“I know,” he muttered, looking down at the murky brown of his tea.  “I can’t help it.  I see him and I can’t say anything, but I keep thinking, and then I think too much and can’t say anything.”

“You just need one question to ask him, and that will open up the conversation.”

“I don’t know what I would ask.”

Gaius looked up at the ceiling with a sigh before looking back at Arthur.  “Fine, then.  Ask if he watches _Doctor Who_.”

“Everyone watches _Doctor Who_ ,” Arthur reminded him with a small grin, feeling more himself.  “Except for you.”

Gaius scoffed.  “Shouldn’t you be working on your reading for my next lecture?”

“I already read it,” Arthur replied.  “You recommended that textbook to me when I was doing my A levels, remember?  I just skimmed it again, but I mostly remembered it.”

“And don’t forget the articles I sent you last week,” Gaius said, glancing at the dusty computer monitor at the corner of his desk with a grimace.

“I’m still working on those.  I had a few preliminary readings for my business lectures I had to do before the first class, so I could only get to the first one before classes started.  I should have time Thursday afternoon though.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.  I’m assigning the pairs for the project Thursday, and you’re supposed to meet with your partners in the afternoon.”

Arthur sighed softly.  “All right, then.  Evening.”  He started to mentally rearrange his schedule; he had been planning to watch Masterchef with Gwaine that evening, but he did really want to read what Gaius had sent him.  Maybe if they recorded the episode and watched it Friday afternoon, after both their lectures were over.  But then he’d need to move his lunch with Morgana, and he was sure she wouldn’t let him.  “Or maybe over the weekend.”

Gaius smiled slightly.  “Don’t overthink it.  Read them when you get a chance.”

Arthur nodded, starting to take another sip from his mug.  His phone went off just before he took a sip.  He put his mug down on the edge of the desk and dug it out of his pocket, answering the call before holding it up to his ear.

“Yes?” he asked, looking apologetically at Gaius, who frowned at him.

“Hey, princess,” Gwaine said from the other end of the phone, nearly drowned out by the sound of cars and pedestrians going past.  “Are you going to be back soon?  I left my key in the flat this morning.”

Arthur sighed.  “I shouldn’t be too much longer, but, really?  This is the third time in the last week.”

“I know.  I’m a twat,” Gwaine replied cheerfully.  “Thanks, mate.”  And then he hung up.  Arthur pursed his lips and pocketed his phone again.

“Gwaine locked himself out again,” Arthur told Gaius, who nodded.  This was a usual occurrence, especially on Thursdays, when Gwaine had an 8:55 lecture.

“I’ll see you Thursday then?” Gaius asked as Arthur downed the rest of his tea quickly.

“Yeah, I’ll return your notes then, too,” Arthur replied, standing up and sliding the sheets of paper into the folder in his bag.  “I’ll make sure to get there early so no one will know I borrowed them.”

Gaius nodded and smiled at him briefly.  “All right, Arthur.  Take care.”

“You too,” Arthur said with a small grin, slinging his bag over his shoulder and starting towards the door.

“Arthur,” Gaius called to him just before he reached the door.  Arthur took a step back, poking his head around the corner so he could see Gaius.  “Don’t give up on Merlin.  He doesn’t hate you as much as you seem to think he does.”

“I’m sure he does hate me, Gaius,” Arthur replied with a small, bitter smile.  “But I still won’t give up.”


	7. Merlin

When Merlin stepped into Gaius’s lecture and saw Arthur sitting near the back with an empty seat to one side, he almost lost his nerve and turned to leave.  Of course, he couldn’t really leave.  The class was required, and Gaius had made it very, _very_ clear that if you weren’t in the class, there was no hope of passing the class.  But he had to sit next to Arthur again.  Gaius would be mad if he didn’t, and he didn’t want Gaius mad at him.

Without letting himself think about it, he stepped into the classroom, walked up the stairs on the side, and slid into the seat next to Arthur.  He refused to look at Arthur at first; he focused instead on unpacking his backpack, turning to the next empty page in his notebook, making sure his pen was parallel to the edge of the notebook, that the notebook was perpendicular to the table, then that the pen was still right, then grabbing another pen in case the first one ran out of ink, then another pen in case the first two spontaneously combusted.

He couldn’t avoid it any longer.  He glanced up at Arthur and jumped slightly when he saw those piercing blue eyes already focused on him.

“You have to stop doing that,” Merlin blurted before his mind managed to catch up to what he was saying.  At the pink flush spreading over Arthur’s cheeks, Merlin blushed as well, clapping a hand over his mouth.  Through the cover, he spoke again: “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, sometimes I just say things—”

“It’s all right,” Arthur replied quickly, looking down at his own notebook.  “I shouldn’t stare at you like that.”  He paused, a grimace on his face as he said, “I’m sorry.”

Merlin’s eyes widened; it looked like apologizing had physically pained Arthur.  Well, he should get the practice in, Merlin thought viciously, tamping down any sense of sympathy.  “You don’t say that very often, I can tell.”

He barely managed to stop himself from slamming his head on the table.  He really needed to get better control of himself, especially because Arthur seemed to have unparalleled skill in making a fool out of him.

Arthur looked at him, face carefully, obviously neutral.  “It’s that obvious, then.”

Merlin shrugged, blushing slightly.  “Well, yeah.  You looked like you were going to be sick.”

Arthur faced forward again.  Merlin could see his jaw was clenched, and definitely did not think about how much he would love to suck on that jawline.  “I won’t make the same mistake, then.”

“And what mistake is that?”

“Trying to be nice to an imbecile.”

Merlin’s eyes narrowed.  “Well it’s not as bad a mistake as trying to be nice to a clotpole!”

Arthur snorted out a laugh before he could stop himself; Merlin couldn’t help but grin.  “What does that even mean?” Arthur asked through a laugh, turning back to him.

Merlin shrugged.  “It’s just… I don’t know, it’s an insult.  It works.”

Arthur grinned, and Merlin noticed for the first time that his teeth were adorably crooked.  Merlin then had to stop from stabbing himself in the thigh with a pen for thinking anything about Arthur was _adorable_.  He was a clotpole!  He couldn’t be adorable.  Besides, college men should not be adorable.  It was ridiculous.

“It _kind of_ works,” Arthur replied, still grinning, his eyes twinkling in an undeniably cute way.  Merlin rolled his eyes, but there was less malice in it than he would have liked.

“It works well enough.  There’s no come back to it, is there?”

“I guess not.  But… _clotpole_.”

“I can call you a dollophead, if you prefer,” Merlin replied, feeling his grin grow wider against his will.  Arthur threw his head back with a laugh, a full body laugh that Merlin couldn’t tear his eyes away from.  Merlin didn’t even know how long Arthur was laughing for.  It seemed like a year had passed in a second, and the sunburst in Merlin’s chest left him disoriented.

Finally Arthur came back to himself, and fixed that adorable grin on Merlin again.  He opened his mouth to say something, but Gaius’s entrance into the lecture hall stopped him.  Merlin mentally let out a sigh of relief.

There was still some sort of tension between them; Merlin couldn’t deny that.  He didn’t even try to.  He just didn’t understand it.  They’d been joking, just then, but Merlin couldn’t get rid of the hyperawareness of Arthur he had attributed to his hatred.  Maybe it wasn’t hatred, then.  But Merlin didn’t want to think about what it could be.

Luckily, Gaius cleared his throat, getting everyone’s attention.  He started passing out sheets of paper to the class, starting with the front row and working his way back.  Gaius smiled at Merlin when he saw Arthur beside him and gave a slight nod.  Merlin nodded back nervously, but Gaius just turned and went back to the front of the room.

Finally Merlin looked down at the paper, then quickly back at Gaius when he realized what it was.

“Every semester, I have my students do a project,” Gaius explained.  “There are many of you taking this for the oceanography major, but there are just as many taking this course as a distribution requirement.  I want to ensure that everyone gets something from this class.  So you will pair up, and through the first half of the semester work on your presentations.  The presentations will begin after the midterm.”

Merlin did a mental calculation; the semester was only 15 weeks long.  That meant there were only about 8 until presentations were started.  What if this needed a lot of work?  What would he do then?  His partner would probably have just as much, if not more work than Merlin had, outside of this project.

“You will notice,” Gaius continued, “that there is no topic listed on this rubric.  That is because you and your partner must come up with it together.  I want to see a combination of your two courses of study and Marine Invertebrates.  If one or both of you are oceanography majors, use some aspect of your concentration in the field.  I’ll read off the partnerships now.”

Merlin’s blood ran cold.  Gaius chose their partners.  This had to be a conspiracy, it just had to be.  Gaius had been so determined to get Merlin to give Arthur another chance, and now this project?  Merlin took a deep breath, making Arthur look at him, confused.  _Maybe they’re random pairings_ , Merlin thought, trying to console himself.  _Maybe_ _they’re completely random and I’ll wind up with a nice, attractive, man-liking man that I can get to know_.

“I purposefully paired people I thought had complementary areas of study,” Gaius added as he took out his list of partners.  “I wanted to ensure the most interesting presentations possible.”

And oh God, there was a twinkle in his eye.  Merlin was definitely going to be paired with Arthur.  He had to be.  There was no way to escape.  But still Merlin tried to hold out hope, hoping that sitting next to Arthur was enough to satisfy Gaius without having to work on this project together.

“George, studying literature, and Benjamin, studying theatre.  Louise, studying history, and Mary, studying art.  Jennifer, studying oceanography focusing in marine plant growth, and John, studying chemistry.  Arthur, studying business management, and Merlin, studying oceanography focusing in conservation.  Mark…”

Merlin tuned out after his fate was sealed.  There was nothing he could do now.  Arthur had turned to him, when their names were called together, and offered him a sunny smile.   Merlin knew the one he gave in response was lackluster at best.  He could see Arthur’s happiness dim a little; Merlin tried to look a bit more cheery.

“We should compare schedules after class,” Arthur said quietly, leaning in to say it in Merlin’s ear.  Merlin jerked a little, but didn’t move away.

“Okay,” Merlin squeaked, hoping his ears weren’t turning red.  Arthur’s smirk told him they were.  He cleared his throat, and continued normally:  “There’s that coffee shop by the front gates, we can go there.  It won’t be that full after class lets out.”

“Sounds good,” Arthur replied, his words fanning over Merlin’s neck before he pulled back again.  Just in time, too, as Gaius finished reading off the names.

“I put up the presentation schedule on the class website,” Gaius told them, putting away his project information sheets and taking out his notes for the class.  “Please check it so you know when you will be presenting.  I will not tolerate late projects.  Everything else you need to know is on the sheet I gave you.  Come to my office or email me with any questions.”  He cleared his throat again, arranging his notes in front of him.  “Now, to get back to where we left off last class…”

Merlin started taking down notes, his pen scratching across the paper of his notebook.  When there was a small break for Gaius to find a sheet he was missing, Merlin risked glancing up at Arthur.

Arthur had his eyes on Merlin again.  When he noticed he’d been caught, though, Arthur looked back to the front of the room.  Merlin studied him for a moment more, waiting to see if Arthur would look back at him.

It seemed Merlin’s earlier admonishment had worked; Arthur didn’t do more than glance at him out of the corner of his eye for the rest of the class.  Merlin tried not to be disappointed.


	8. Arthur

“So,” Arthur said as they both started towards the door of the lecture hall.  Merlin hadn’t said a word to him as they packed up, hadn’t even looked at him, and Arthur desperately wanted to make conversation.  He knew Gaius was giving him a chance here, and he couldn’t waste it.  “Do you have a paper copy of your schedule?”

Merlin shook his head.  “No, I only have the one in my email.  Seemed too much of a bother to go to the library just to print it.”

Arthur nodded, holding the door to the hall open for Merlin.  Merlin blushed prettily - Arthur really needed to stop thinking of him as pretty - and murmured a ‘thank you’ as he went past Arthur.  Arthur smiled and followed close behind him.

“I only have the copy on my computer, too,” Arthur replied.  He fell into step beside Merlin again as they walked to the coffee shop.  “If you want, once we’re sitting down, you can open your email and download your schedule onto my laptop, so we can compare them.”

Merlin blushed darker, his ears turning red in a way that Arthur definitely did not enjoy, and didn’t look at him.  “Y-yeah, all right.  That should be fine.”

“And I promise not to follow you to your classes,” Arthur told him, trying to break some of the tension between them.  If Merlin’s wide-eyed glance at him was any indication, he didn’t really succeed.  “I wouldn’t follow you to your classes anyway!” Arthur added hurriedly, trying to salvage the conversation.  “It was supposed to be a joke!”

Merlin smiled then.  It was a small, understated smile, but it was still there.  “I think you’re worse at jokes than I am at insults.”  Arthur smiled in return.

“Yeah, I am pretty hopeless at it.  I’m much better at flirting, I’ve been told,” Arthur said, without really thinking about it.  And of course, that was a mistake.  Merlin wouldn’t just let something like that pass for the sake of a civil conversation.  He would fixate on it.  He would ask about it.  Arthur swallowed nervously, trying to look more collected than he felt.  It had been too easy to fall back on the same lines he used at the society parties.  The ladies there always ate up lines like that; Merlin, of course, would never be wooed by something like that.

“I find that hard to believe,” Merlin replied with a snort. Arthur grinned, glad that Merlin wasn’t storming away or yelling at him.

“Believe what you like.  It’s the truth.”

“Show me, then,” Merlin demanded, stopping just down the path from the coffee shop to look at Arthur.  Arthur stopped beside him, an eyebrow raised.  “Show me what your flirting is like.”

Arthur couldn’t exactly admit that his horrible attempts at conversation were his flirting.  Well, that was only half true.  There was the posturing and rehearsed smiles that he used to woo the daughters of his father’s business partners.  Then there was the awkward fumbling of trying to convey an honest interest in someone.  Arthur sighed to himself.

On the outside, he just grinned and winked.  “Oh, you’ll see, in good time.  Don’t want you to be expecting it; it’s much less effective that way.”  That was an outright lie, of course, but he couldn’t use his practiced lines on Merlin.  They were too… impersonal.  Merlin deserved more than that, even if he’d done nothing more than insult Arthur up to this point.

Merlin flushed slightly, but didn’t say a word.  He started walking again, Arthur right beside him, perhaps a little closer than he had been before.  Arthur held open the door to the coffee shop.  This time, Merlin just went in without a word.  Without a blush, too, which disappointed Arthur more than he wanted to think about.

The line was short, just as Merlin had said.  There were only two people in front of them, and soon enough Merlin was giving his order for tea (earl grey with five sugars and a splash of milk) before Arthur even knew what he was going to get.  When Merlin took out his wallet to pay, however, Arthur put his hand over Merlin’s.

“Don’t worry about it, I got it,” he said a bit absently, still studying the drink menu.  Merlin jerked his hands away, making Arthur look at him.

“I can afford my own tea, thanks,” Merlin told him, even-toned but obviously furious.

Arthur sighed softly.  “I’m not saying you can’t afford it.  My treat this time, and then next time you can cover us both.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, but didn’t protest again.  When Arthur turned back to the cashier, she had a wide grin on her face.  Merlin moved away, down the counter, to await the arrival of his tea.  Arthur finally decided on an order (his usual for this time of year, iced black coffee) and took out his wallet.

“New relationships can be tough, can’t they?” the cashier said quietly, glancing over at Merlin as she spoke.  Arthur frowned slightly, handing over the correct amount.  “Lots of tricky areas to avoid.”

“We aren’t dating,” Arthur told her, a little confused.  “We’re working together on a project.”

The girl giggled and handed back his change.  “Oh, sure.  That’s always how it starts.”  She brought a hand up to toy with the heart pendant on her necklace, still smiling at him.

Arthur, still thrown off, put his change away and went back over to Merlin.  Merlin’s tea had arrived, steaming in a chipped white mug, and it wasn’t long before Arthur’s coffee joined it.

“I don’t know how you can drink that sludge,” Merlin commented as they headed towards a table at the window.  Arthur set his cup on the table, then looked over at Merlin.  One side of Merlin’s mouth was lifted in a half-smile and he was shifting a bit nervously.  This was Merlin’s olive branch, Arthur realized.  This was Merlin trying to make things right.

Arthur smiled back; Merlin’s half-smile became a grin.  “It’s not sludge.  It’s a perfectly good beverage.”

“You’re betraying the crown,” Merlin replied lightly as he sat down.  “Tea is the drink of true Brits.”

“I’m sure the Queen can survive my enjoying my coffee,” Arthur said with a laugh, sitting across from him.  “Have you ever even tried it?”

Merlin shook his head.  “I’ve heard enough about it that I don’t need to.  It’s bitter as all hell, and has a weird aftertaste.”

“Only if you’re not used to it,” Arthur corrected, holding out his drink to Merlin with a pointed look.  “Try it.”

Merlin made a face.  “That’s gross, your mouth has been on that straw.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, successfully ignoring the idea of their mouths on the same straw.  Or, you know, just touching each other’s mouth.  Kissing.  He shouldn’t think about kissing Merlin.  “Take a sip without the straw then, idiot.”

Merlin huffed and pulled the lid off, taking a small, quick sip of the coffee.  He frowned slightly, then took a slightly bigger sip.  “It’s bitter,” he declared after a moment.

“If you drink more it won’t be,” Arthur replied, reclaiming his drink.  “And you can always put milk and sugar in it, but it won’t really be coffee then.”

Merlin was still looking at Arthur’s cup thoughtfully.  “I’m going to try that next time.  With sugar, though.”

Arthur lifted it a bit and took a sip through the straw, breaking Merlin’s trance.  Merlin smiled a bit sheepishly, taking a sip of his tea.  Now without the distraction of conversation, Arthur could see how uncomfortable Merlin looked.  He was fidgeting in his seat and with his mug, and his eyes kept darting between his drink, the window, and Arthur’s face.

Arthur frowned slightly.  Why would Merlin suggest the coffee shop if he would be uncomfortable once they got there?  It didn’t make any sense.  Granted, Merlin didn’t seem to make much sense (seriously, clotpole?), but this seemed a little much, even for him.

But thinking back on his interactions with Merlin so far, Arthur thought he could figure out why they were here.  Merlin was a lot more impulsive than Arthur was.  Merlin probably suggested the coffee shop without really thinking about how awkward it could be for them to actually go there.  Well, Arthur would just have to try to make Merlin as comfortable as possible.  Merlin wouldn’t want to do anything like this again if it made him uncomfortable.

Arthur drank some more of his coffee before putting it to the side and taking out his laptop.  It was a newer model, an early birthday present from his father. 

Merlin studied it, clearly a bit envious, eyes darting to focus on the screen when Arthur spun it to face Merlin.  Merlin put his mug to the side and quickly got into his email, then spun the computer around so Arthur could look at it again.

“It looks like our schedules match up pretty well,” Arthur told him, studying the calendar on his screen.  “I have class at night on Mondays, but that seems to be the only huge difference.  We both have the afternoon and evening free almost every day.  Are you free this weekend?”

“I have to phone my mum, but other than that I don’t have anything,” Merlin replied, back to staring at his mug.

Arthur nodded. “All right.  We can meet at my flat Saturday and start pulling things together for the project.”  He closed his computer with a snap, knocking Merlin out of his trance again.

“Did you have any ideas for a topic?” Merlin asked after a minute of silence.

Arthur pursed his lips.  “I was thinking about it during class.  Business and ocean conservation should be easy to put together, really.  Maybe something about the most cost-effective way to support the ocean environment?”

“We should focus on a specific kind of business that’s harming the ocean,” Merlin replied, agreeing with Arthur’s basis.  His brow was furrowed slightly, staring at the table as he thought.  “I read an article recently about the dangers of oil drilling, and some of the new technology that’s being developed.  I can try to find out some more about that.”

Arthur’s blood ran cold.  He couldn’t do this project on oil, there was absolutely no way.  Bringing this, with Merlin, into that other world was out of the question.  “Was there any other kind of business mentioned in this article?  Or that you heard about somewhere else?”

Merlin looked up, his blue eyes focusing on Arthur.  “No, why?  Oil’s the industry with all the new technology, with everything going on in the Middle East.  If we want to go from that angle you were talking about, we’d have to do oil.”

Arthur hesitated, then nodded.  “All right.  Oil drilling.”

Merlin nodded in response.  “Yeah.  I can dig up the article—”

“Princess!” Arthur heard from behind him.  He stiffened in his seat, his eyes going wide.  Merlin looked very confused at his reaction, but he didn’t have time to ask about it before Gwaine settled an arm over Arthur’s tense shoulders.  “I didn’t know you came here!”

“I don’t usually,” Arthur replied through gritted teeth, trying to shrug Gwaine off of him.  Gwaine refused to budge.

“And who’s your date?” Gwaine continued, without listening to what Arthur said.

Merlin’s eyes went wide and his entire face turned bright red.

“He’s not my date!” Arthur said loudly, finally shoving Gwaine’s arm off of him.  “We’re working on a project.”

Gwaine looked Merlin over with renewed interest at that.  He sauntered to the other side of the table as Arthur seethed.  He could see Merlin was uncomfortable, and he wanted to save him for both their sakes, but there was no dissuading Gwaine when he had his eye on someone.

“I’m Gwaine.  Arthur and I share a flat,” Gwaine told Merlin, flipping his hair with a grin.  Merlin offered him a small smile.  Arthur felt a burst of satisfaction; when he met Merlin, the smile had been much bigger.

“I’m Merlin,” he answered.  Gwaine leaned towards him, the easy smile on his face belaying his intentions.  Merlin stood up quickly, grabbing his bag and leaving his mug on the table.

“Where are you going?” Gwaine asked with a frown.

“I forgot, I have to go see a professor,” Merlin replied, slinging his bag over his shoulder.  He turned to Arthur, offering him a hesitant smile.  “Sorry, I have to run.”

Arthur smiled back, but he knew it wasn’t as sincere as he wanted it to be.  “Yeah, I’ll see you in lecture tomorrow?”

Merlin nodded quickly, paused next to him, then grabbed Arthur’s hand and scribbled a number on the back.  “That’s my mobile.  Text me so I have your number, and I’ll send you the name and author of the article I was talking about.”

Arthur nodded, eyes focused on the number, Merlin’s number, as Merlin practically ran from the coffee shop.

“He’s a cutie,” Gwaine commented, plopping into Merlin’s chair.  Arthur looked up, out of the window, watching as Merlin walked away.  The professor had been a lie, Arthur knew.  Merlin was uncomfortable with Gwaine, so he made an excuse and left.  Arthur couldn’t begrudge him that.

“He is,” Arthur replied absently, before coming back to himself and taking a sip of his coffee.  Gwaine’s chuckle made him frown.  “What?”

“I’ll leave him to you,” Gwaine said with a wink, standing up again.  Arthur frowned even more.

“What are you talking about?”

“Ask him out before someone else snags him,” Gwaine said by way of a reply, before sauntering from the coffee shop.

Arthur scowled, looking down at his coffee again.  Was it really that obvious?  Arthur was trying to keep everything bundled up deep down, just like he’d been taught as a child, but it wasn’t working around Merlin for some reason.   Arthur just hoped Merlin was less observant than Gwaine.


	9. Merlin

Merlin speed-walked all the way back to his flat, terrified he would run into someone he knew.  He was distressed, and he knew that it showed.  Gwaine had thrown him off in a way he hadn’t experienced before.  He never had people hit on him so obviously.  It was like Gwaine oozed sex appeal, and he definitely used it to his advantage.

Merlin might have flirted back, if he wasn’t with Arthur.  Maybe if he was at a club or something.  But then again, he thought, maybe not.  Arthur had looked odd when Gwaine came up to them.  A little… resigned?  But why would he be resigned?

Oh well, there was no point in speculating about what Arthur thought.  It was difficult enough to figure out what he was even saying half the time.  He always talked around things, and his words didn’t match with his tone, and sometimes Merlin wished Arthur could just be a little more straightforward.  Other times, Merlin relished the challenge that communicating with Arthur presented.

When Merlin opened the door to his apartment, Kilgarrah immediately swam up to the top of his tank.  “Young Warlock!”

“What is it?” Merlin asked tiredly, tossing his bag to the side and using magic to float it onto a hook.

“You have taken another step closer to your destiny today.”

“Great,” Merlin replied, stepping out of his shoes as he crossed to his bed.  A flick of his fingers had the shoes sliding across the floor into the pile of shoes by the door.  He held his arms out, and his jacket slid off and laid itself over the back of his desk chair.  Finally he flopped down onto his bed with a sigh.

Kilgarrah was pressed up against the side of the tank facing Merlin’s bed.  The axolotl’s gills were flapping and his tail was swishing back and forth in the water.  Merlin looked at him, mind wandering while he watched the few plants in the tank sway with the current from Kilgarrah’s tail.

Why was Arthur so upset about Gwaine showing up?  Yeah, it cut down on the time they worked on their project, but there wasn’t much more they could have done at that point.  They barely even had their topic set when Gwaine came in, and Arthur still didn’t seem particularly convinced about researching oil drilling.

And then there was Arthur’s reaction to Gwaine’s… insinuation.  He seemed almost offended when Gwaine suggested they were on a date.

Merlin pulled his blanket up around his shoulders, his hands pressing into his chest.  Why did Arthur sound so horrified at the idea of dating Merlin?  When they’d first met, Arthur had been flirting with him, kind of.  They’d really hit it off before they started fighting.  And again, before the lecture started, after Merlin had learned to control his mouth.  And again at the coffee shop, before Gwaine came in.  They’d been getting along just fine.  More than fine.

“Anybody would be lucky to be with me,” Merlin proclaimed to his empty flat.  Kilgarrah kept his eyes fixed on Merlin but didn’t reply.  “They would be,” he added after a moment, much quieter.  Merlin closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing and his heartbeat instead of his thoughts.

“Your loyalty is unfaltering,” Kilgarrah told him after several minutes of silence.  Merlin opened his eyes a crack to look at him.  “You have the courage of three men.  You are more intelligent than you seem.”

“Are you trying to make me feel better?” Merlin asked, a small smile curling his lips.

“I am reminding you of who you are,” Kilgarrah said, turning quickly and waddling to the other side of the tank.

Merlin’s smile held for a while.  Kilgarrah was right; he wasn’t _un_ desirable.  Maybe there were people who were more attractive than him, but he had a lot of good traits, too.  He was good at making people laugh.  If he could make Arthur laugh, he could make anyone laugh.  He was sure of it.

And there he was, thinking about Arthur again.  That prat just couldn’t seem to stay out of his head.  Arthur and his stupid blond hair and bright blue eyes and that crooked smile.  Merlin twisted around until his face was buried in the pillow, hiding his red cheeks from Kilgarrah.  No matter how nice the axolotl had been to him before, Kilgarrah would mock him ruthlessly for blushing.

He tried to think about anybody else he had met at Albion so far, but every time he started thinking about another nice bloke who had leaned a little closer than usual, like Aglain in his Chemistry lab, his thoughts always trailed back to Arthur.  It was infuriating.

As a last resort, Merlin tried to think about Gwaine and his lush hair, his beard.  He smiled slightly, just thinking about that charming smile directed at him.  But then Arthur’s scowl floated into his mind and Merlin’s thoughts were back on Arthur.

The last time he’d been this hung up over a guy was when Lance had moved in next door junior year.  They’d ended up dating for almost a year.

Merlin sat bolt upright in bed, startling Kilgarrah into swimming back to Merlin’s side of the tank.  “No, I am _not_ attracted to Arthur,” Merlin said to himself, completely horrified.  He turned to Kilgarrah and swallowed nervously.  “I’m not attracted to Arthur, Kilgarrah.”

“Destiny takes many forms,” Kilgarrah told him simply.

“What does that even mean?” Merlin complained, echoing Arthur from earlier.  He smiled slightly, and before he could stop himself, he was remembering Arthur’s indignation in the face of Merlin’s insults.  Then he scowled again and tried not to think of Arthur.  “I don’t fancy him.  It’s impossible.”

“You cannot change your destiny,” Kilgarrah replied smugly.

Before Merlin could retort, his phone buzzed in his pocket.  Merlin grumbled and dug it out, frowning at the unfamiliar number on his screen.  When he checked the message, though, he almost dropped his phone on the bed.

_This is Arthur._

When he saw who it was, he threw his phone across the room out of spite.

God, Arthur was texting him already.   Wasn’t there some rule about waiting two days before texting someone, so you don’t seem too desperate?  Merlin pursed his lips.  No, that was a rule for dating.  The leap wasn’t too far to make, though, since he’d written his number on Arthur’s hand, like some prepubescent girl with the cute boy in class.  Merlin wanted to go back in time and smack himself.  Arthur had to know how hung up Merlin was on him, if Merlin was this ridiculous about it.

What was he supposed to say back to that message?  Was he even supposed to respond to it?  He still needed to search for the article he’d read, so he couldn’t reply with that.

But he should reply.  It was only polite.  So he floated his phone back into his hands, and stared at the blank ‘new message’ screen.  He needed to come up with something witty.  Something creative.

_This is Merlin._

Merlin _really_ wanted to smack his present self.  That was the most ridiculous message he could have sent.  It was mocking, and boring, and oh gods he was turning into a teenage girl.

_I know that.  Did you manage to hit your head on the way home?_

Merlin couldn’t help but laugh.  Of course, Arthur would chalk up anything weird Merlin would say as pretty much normal.  That certainly helped, even if it irritated him at first.

_No, everything’s intact.  Just making sure you didn’t think you were texting someone else who wrote their number on you._

And now Merlin was back to self-loathing.  That text was soaked in jealousy, positively drowning in possessiveness.  Arthur was going to be able to tell, and it was going to disgust him.  Merlin was disgusted just rereading it.

_Oh yes, I get loads of blokes writing their numbers on me.  I have a very good organizational system to avoid any awkward texts._

Merlin smiled again; trust Arthur to turn a statement like that around.  Arthur was a master of snark, and Merlin should’ve known that his own inability to hold a normal conversation wouldn’t hinder that.

_Good to know.  Care to share?  Not so many blokes writing their numbers on me._

The response was almost immediate

_Next time I see you._

This time, Merlin was sure he wasn’t going to respond.  That message was obviously a dismissal.  He didn’t want to bother Arthur, especially after leaving on him so suddenly earlier.  He could try apologizing for that.  No, it would be awkward, coming this late in their conversation.  If Arthur mentioned it next time they got together to work on the project, Merlin would apologize.  It was rude to leave Arthur like that, without really explaining anything.

But surely Arthur would understand.   Or maybe he thought Merlin just didn’t want to be around him.

“One cannot hate that which makes it whole,” Kilgarrah half-sang.


	10. Arthur

Arthur didn’t want to go back to his flat and face Gwaine.  He really, really did not want to face him.  Gwaine might have let his meeting with Merlin go when they were in public, but there would be no stopping in private.  Gwaine was going to keep bugging him about his defense of Merlin, and Merlin writing his number on Arthur, and…

Arthur stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and let out a calming breath.  Well, he had wanted it to be calming.  It didn’t really work.  It actually didn’t work at all.  The panic was simmering just under his skin, but it hadn’t boiled over just yet.

Maybe Gwaine would be sensitive, for once.  Arthur nearly snorted out loud at that thought; Gwaine had no sense of decorum.  He was like a dog with a chew toy about anything embarrassing.  This was too good for Gwaine to let go without a fight.  Sometimes Arthur wished he’d tried to find a different flat-mate.

He started walking again.  It was better to get home and get it over with, instead of waiting around and having to deal with it later.  Like ripping off a bandaid.  Maybe Gwaine would be more merciful if Arthur offered himself up.

And that sounded much too close to a sacrifice to a god, and Arthur was definitely not going near that.

It took less time than he would have liked to reach his flat.  The 3 story walk-up that seemed torturously long on a normal day now took no time at all.  The endless stretch of hallway to their door was impossibly short.

He shook his head, opened the door, and stepped inside.

Gwaine was lounging on the couch in his pants, a can of soda open on the table in front of him.  “Hey, Princess.”

“Gwaine,” Arthur replied, picking up Gwaine’s trousers from their crumpled heap by the door.  “Did you just come in and take off your trousers right here?”

“Yup,” Gwaine replied with a yawn, stretching his arms above his head.  Arthur rolled his eyes and threw the clothes at Gwaine’s head.  Gwaine’s indignant squawk made Arthur grin.

Of course, when Gwaine popped his head out of the bundle and grinned right back at Arthur, Arthur began to regret his tiny victory.

“So, this Merlin fellow—”

“I’m not setting you up with him,” Arthur replied immediately.  “I wouldn’t torture him like that.”

“I think it would be you who would be tortured by that.”

Arthur crossed his arms and stood his ground.  “Why would I be?  Merlin and I are barely friends.”

“Oh, you want more than that already.  I can tell.”

Arthur grit his teeth, trying to hold back the blush from his cheeks with pure force of will.  “I don’t.  We’re just partners for a project.”

Gwaine’s eyes shone with triumph.  “Oh, of course.  I saw that smile he gave you; you’re totally going to be banging him in a week.”

“No, I’m not,” Arthur replied, ignoring the thrill of pleasure.  So maybe Merlin did actually have some interest in him, if Gwaine was saying so.  Or Gwaine could just be being completely cruel.  “Don’t talk about him like that.”

Gwaine’s smile fell.  “Shit, you really like him.”

“I don’t,” Arthur said tightly.

Gwaine stood up, none of his joking left.  “Arthur, it’s all right to like someone.  It’s healthy.  I mean, you haven’t wanted to get close with anyone since—”

“Gwen died,” Arthur finished for him.  “I can mourn, Gwaine.  It doesn’t mean I’m going to shag the first guy I look at.”  To anyone else, avoiding a relationship because of a dead fish was crazy.  But Gwaine understood.  Gwen had been the only steady presence in his life for as long as he could remember.  Losing her was almost as bad as losing his mother had been.

Gwaine shrugged.  “All right, then, fine.  When you get your head out of your ass and finally realize—”

“Nothing is going to happen, Gwaine,” Arthur snapped at him.  “I ruined any chance I had with him before we even started this project.”

Gwaine frowned at him.  “Not even you can do that, Princess.”

“Believe me, I can,” Arthur replied, slumping down onto the couch, his carefully trained posture forgotten.

“Tell me what happened,” Gwaine demanded, sitting next to him.  Arthur, against his better judgment, told him.

By the end of the story, which began at the pet store and finished today at the coffee shop, Gwaine’s eyes were wide.

“Wow, you really know how to fuck yourself over,” he said with a laugh.

“I know,” Arthur replied, too dejected for anger.  Thinking about the whole thing again made him realize how truly hopeless even a friendship with Merlin would be at this point.

“Well, Merlin seems like a smart bloke, to get into the oceanography program.  He’ll be able to fix all of this.”

“Why would he want to?” Arthur asked as he stood up.  “I’ve done nothing but insult him and scare him.  There’s no reason for him to want anything to do with me outside of an A on this presentation.”

“You also bought him tea and keep trying to make conversation,” Gwaine pointed out, not letting Arthur wallow.  “And you apologized.”

Arthur shrugged.  “Yeah, fine.  I apologized.”  He turned to leave and go to his room, then stopped just before he got to the hall.  “Oh, and Merlin’s going to be over this weekend to work on the project.  Please try to keep your clothes on.”

“I’ll do my best,” Gwaine replied, flopping back down on the couch.  Arthur rolled his eyes and retreated to his room.

He knew Gwaine was, for once, just trying to make him feel better.  Sure, he’d apologized for being a bastard to Merlin, but in the face of everything else, it didn’t matter too much.  He laid back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling.  There was nothing else to stare at in the room, no pictures or posters or plants.

He sighed softly.  Gwen’s tank was sitting empty in the corner of the room. He knew without having to look at it.  He’d intended to get rid of it, but it felt like a betrayal.  And it was still too soon for a new fish, no matter how much Gwaine insisted that 3 months was more than enough time to mourn.  As much as Gwaine knew about Gwen, he didn’t completely understand.

Arthur wondered if Merlin would.  Merlin talked to his axolotl, just as Arthur had talked to Gwen.  Merlin, of all people, would understand.

And, of course, that was when he remembered the number on the back of his hand.  He could text Merlin, bring up the topic of talking to your pets.  No, that would seem a little weird to bring up out of the blue.  Besides, Merlin wouldn’t even know it was him.

Before he could think better of it, Arthur took out his phone and carefully typed Merlin’s number in.  He thought for a moment about what to say, then decided to settle for simplicity.

_This is Arthur._

He started to regret it almost immediately after he sent the message.  It was too impersonal, too sudden, too _soon._   He’d only just gotten Merlin’s number.  He should have waited a day or so to send a message.  Well, he could say he was eager to start the project.  Or something.  He was starting to think Merlin wouldn’t even bother to respond, when his phone buzzed on his chest.

 _This is Merlin_.

Arthur grinned.  Trust Merlin to mock him for that.  He deserved it, though.  The message had been stupid.

 _I know that._   Oh, that seemed too uppity.  He needed to add something else, to make it funny instead.  Something a little insulting, maybe?  Teasing tended to work with Merlin.  _Did you manage to hit your head on the way home?_

The response was almost immediate.

_No, everything’s intact.  Just making sure you didn’t think you were texting someone else who wrote their number on you._

Arthur raised an eyebrow.  Did Merlin think he had people coming up left and right to offer their number to Arthur?  People tended to avoid him, usually, afraid of any backlash from his father in case they offended him.  Sometimes at clubs he’d get offered a drink, but most people backed off after a few minutes.

Which was why Arthur didn’t want Merlin to know who he was.  It was better to stay just Arthur, instead of bringing his family into it.  Besides, Merlin hadn’t asked.  He probably didn’t care.

Ah, right.  He needed to reply to Merlin.  Something a tad sarcastic, to show that he was kidding, but playing along with it.

_Oh yes, I get loads of blokes writing their numbers on me.  I have a very good organizational system to avoid any awkward texts._

He pressed send before he could obsess over the wording of it.  Merlin would understand what he meant.  Merlin seemed quite adept at understanding Arthur’s humor, so surely Merlin would be able to pick it up in that text.

_Good to know.  Care to share?  Not so many blokes writing their numbers on me._

Arthur’s first thought was one of relief.  Merlin, despite his smile and his enthusiasm, wasn’t being propositioned by every guy on campus.  Then Arthur wanted to smack himself, because that was not a thought that he should be having about his project partner.  He shouldn’t be _glad_ Merlin didn’t get people flirting with him.  Merlin should have as many options as he wanted.

But Arthur didn’t have people flirting with him all the time either.  He didn’t have a system for dealing with people he was interested in.  What was he supposed to tell Merlin?  Some half-cocked lie?  Just brush it off?

_Next time I see you._

Arthur carefully did not think about what he had said.  He knew it would be too embarrassing if he started to consider it.  He waited for Merlin’s reply, instead, hoping he wouldn’t have to wait too long.

After a couple minutes, Arthur realized Merlin wasn’t going to respond.  God, that last message had been a mistake.  He should have come up with something else, something that invited more conversation.  That had been too much of a brush off, and now Merlin could end their conversation without even having to figure out an excuse to stop texting Arthur.

He thought about sending another message, something about their project, maybe.  Just to open up another line of conversation.  But that would seem too desperate, and it would probably bore Merlin.

He’d wait until later, then.  Or maybe tomorrow.  Or the day after.  He didn’t want to bother Merlin, after all.

He looked over at the empty tank, with the fake plants and gravel still in place, and sighed.


	11. Merlin

Merlin was glad he didn’t have any late Friday classes.  It was the one good point of his schedule, because of the all the early mornings he’d forced onto himself.  He could get back from his morning class, relax until his afternoon class, and then have the rest of the afternoon and night for himself.

Of course, he usually used that time to do work instead of relaxing, but he would have the entire weekend to relax.  Well, outside of the phone conversation with his mum and working on the Marine Invertebrates project with Arthur.  He’d finally managed to dig up that article yesterday, and they’d solidified their topic over text.

Merlin shook his head and focused back on his calculus book.  He’d be seeing Arthur tomorrow; he didn’t need to think about him now.  He tapped his pencil against his notebook, trying to figure out the equation in his work.

Math wasn’t easy for Merlin; there were too many formulas and numbers.  He did much better with understanding than computing.  Arthur seemed to be pretty good at math, so Merlin could probably ask him for help if he got stuck.

Merlin nodded to himself and moved onto the next problem, leaving a star next to the one he had been working on so he knew to go back to it.  The next one was easier and it took him less than a minute to solve.  He smiled victoriously and looked up at Kilgarrah, who was devouring a minnow.

“I’m getting good at math,” He told the axolotl proudly.

“Math is a useless skill next to the ability to love,” Kilgarrah told him, making a lazy circle around his tank.

Merlin laughed and shook his head, starting to write out the next problem.  “What are you talking about now?  I don’t understand half the things you say.”

“You will understand when you are meant to understand.”

“And how will I know when I am meant to understand?”

“You will see, young warlock.  Destiny will bring you to that place.”

“If you say so,” Merlin muttered, solving the next equation.

His phone buzzed next to Kilgarrah’s tank.  Merlin frowned slightly and reached for it, wondering what Arthur was texting him about.  There was nothing left to discuss about their project until they got together tomorrow.

His phone buzzed again and he realized it was his mum calling.  With a faint blush, Merlin pressed the answer button and held the phone to his ear.

“Hey, Mum,” he said, smiling slightly.

“Merlin!”  Hunith replied, her voice filled with happiness.  Merlin just knew her eyes would be crinkled at the corners and her face set in a brilliant smile.  He wished he could see her.  “Would it kill you to send me an email or two during the week?”

“Probably,” he replied cheekily, setting his pen down and closing his math textbook.  He could come back to it later.

“Oh, you should be glad I can’t get you with my spoon through a phone.”

Merlin laughed and lay back on the floor, getting more comfortable.  “I’m very glad, actually.”

Hunith paused, then said, a little softer.  “How is everything going?  Have you been eating enough?  No trouble with Kilgarrah?”

“I’m fine,” he replied.  “I eat three meals a day and Kilgarrah is the same as ever.  He keeps spouting about destiny, but that’s all that’s changed.”

“He always was an odd one,” she said absently.  “No… other problems?”

“My magic’s been pretty quiet,” Merlin told her.  “I use it for little things, so it doesn’t try to burst out.  There haven’t been any incidents like there were last year.”

He was referring, of course, to when his magic burst out at the summer fair in town and made all the trash people threw onto the ground float up and smack them in the head.  His mother had been absolutely livid; Merlin had been frightened someone would know it was him.  Only a few people realized it was Merlin, but they were more entertained than anything.  Merlin wasn’t sure anyone at Albion would be so calm about his magic exploding all over the place.

“Good,” she replied, voice laced with relief.  “And how are your classes?”

“Pretty good.  All the oceanography ones are great.  Maths is giving me some trouble still.”

“Is there a tutoring place you can go too?” She asked immediately.  During his last year of school, his precalculus grade had almost kept him from graduating.

“I have a friend who I’m going to ask for help,” Merlin replied, wondering at calling Arthur a friend so easily.  They barely knew each other and argued most of the time they were together, but still, Merlin realized, Arthur was his friend.  “He’s in business management.”

“How did you make a friend in business management?”  She seemed interested, and not the least bit suspicious.  Not that she had any reason to be suspicious.

“He’s in my Marine Invertebrates class.  We’re partnered for a project.”

“You’re not doing all the work, are you?” Hunith asked, obviously thinking back to all the science group projects Merlin had had to do all the work for.

“No, he’s actually really interested in the class, and he knows a lot about this stuff.  It’s great.”

Honestly, up until this point, Merlin had been doing the bulk of the work.  But it was less than a week into their project, and he was sure Arthur would pick up more of the work once they actually got started with research.  Arthur did seem to know a lot about oil drilling, though, so that part hadn’t been a lie.

“All right.  Don’t hesitate to tell the professor if you have any problems, Merlin.  I know you tend to suffer in silence, but you need to learn to speak up for yourself.”

“I know, Mum.  I’ll tell the professor if I have any problems.”  Merlin knew he wouldn’t, not with Gaius’s relationship with Arthur, but he knew saying so would comfort his mum.

“Good.”  She did sound comforted.  Merlin mentally patted himself on the back.  “You should be getting a package soon.”

“You don’t need to send me anything,” Merlin protested, toying with the end of his jumper sleeve.  He knew his mum didn’t have the time or money to send him packages, and he didn’t want to put her out any more than his uni costs already were.

“It’s nothing much, just that jumper I was working on over the summer, and a few pairs of socks.  I know how you lose your socks so quickly.  Will’s mum wanted me to send you some her jam, too, so I included that.”

“Thanks,” Merlin replied, smiling slightly.  That jam was always excellent at home, and he was sure it would be just as good here.  The jumper Hunith had been working on was nice too; it was green and blue, and very warm and very soft.  He was sure he would treasure it when it started getting colder.

“Well, I should probably get back to the sheep,” his mum said with a sigh.  “They’re getting a bit restless in their pen.”

“All right,” Merlin said.  He glanced up at Kilgarrah, who was nudging his head against the side of the tank.  “Did you want to say hi to Kilgarrah?”

“Quickly,” she replied.  Merlin held up the phone to Kilgarrah’s tank.  He could faintly hear her voice saying hello.

“Merlin will face a trial soon.  You must encourage him to stay strong,” Kilgarrah said as a response.  Merlin scowled at him and put the phone back to his ear.

“What does he mean?” Hunith asked suspiciously.  “What trial are you going to be facing?”

“I don’t know.  Kilgarrah has gotten even more incomprehensible since we’ve been here.”

“All right.”  She didn’t sound particularly convinced, but Merlin didn’t know what else he could say as explanation.  “Well, if you need me, just call.”

“I will,” he promised.  “Love you, Mum.”

“I love you too sweetie,” she told him.  “Don’t forget to call me next weekend.”

“I won’t,” he replied, then heard her ring off.  He put his phone down and glared at Kilgarrah.   “You didn’t need to worry her!  She has enough to deal with as it is!”

“Your destiny must be fulfilled,” Kilgarrah told him, sounding as angry as an axolotl can.  “You will be tempted to abandon the path you must walk, but you must not.  Hunith will help to guide you.”

“Stop talking about my destiny,” Merlin muttered, opening his textbook again.

“I will stop talking about your destiny when it has been fulfilled,” Kilgarrah proclaimed, before chasing after another minnow.

Merlin rolled his eyes, and tried the first problem in his work again, the one he had trouble with before.  This time, he was able to solve it.


	12. Arthur

“I don’t understand how you can be so horrible at this game,” Gwaine exclaimed with a laugh, beating Arthur in another race of Mariokart.

“I didn’t spend my school years playing video games,” Arthur grumbled, shifting around on the couch.  “Unlike _some_ people.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Gwaine replied lightly, as the next race started.  They had it set to do groupings of three; whoever won two or more won the whole round.  “I spent my time with video games, girls, guys, or alcohol.  And every combination of those four.”

Arthur scoffed, maneuvering around a shell on the track.  “You want me to believe you managed to do all of those at the same time?”

“Believe what you like.  I can provide details to convince you, if you want.”

“I’m fine without them,” Arthur replied, trying to focus back on the race. It was too late though; Gwaine had already won.

“You know the rules,” Gwaine reminded him, grabbing his beer off the coffee table and taking a swig.  “Are your socks coming off next, or is it going to be your belt?”

“I don’t know why I agreed to this,” Arthur muttered, taking off his belt and adding it to the pile of clothing at his side.  His jacket, shoes, and nice button-down had already been sacrificed.

“Hey, I didn’t force you into strip Mariokart.  You agreed of your own free will.”

“I just don’t have anything better to be doing on a Friday night,” Arthur replied, drinking half his bottle of beer in one go.

“Well if you got off your ass and asked Merlin out, you wouldn’t have this problem.  You’d be able to keep your dignity _and_ your pants.  Or, actually, maybe not your pants.  I think it would be in your best interest to lose those.”

“Do you ever shut up?” Arthur laughed and nudged against him just as the next race started, sending Princess Peach off the edge of the road.

Gwaine squawked.  “That’s not fair!  You cheated!”

“Horseplay is not forbidden in the rules,” Arthur told him with a grin, leaning forward instead of sitting up straight.  Gwaine muttered under his breath and scowled at Arthur as he waited for his car to reappear on the track.  “What are you muttering about?”

“I’m trying to curse you so you’ll fall off the track,” Gwaine said sourly, finally back on the track and trying to catch up.

“Last time I checked, mate, you didn’t have magic.”

“I bet I would win all the time if I did,” Gwaine replied, catching up to Arthur quickly.

“You win all the time anyway,” Arthur complained, trying to keep ahead of Gwaine.

“Only against you.  Perce is much better at this than you are.  He’s fitter, too, so there’s more motivation to win.”

Arthur rolled his eyes.  “Why even try to beat me then?”

Gwaine continued on as if Arthur hadn’t said anything, but still managed to beat Arthur down to the finish line.  “On the other hand, when I lose I present him with temptation in the form of my glorious abs.”

“You really need to stop talking,” Arthur said.  “Really, right now.”

Gwaine grinned and glanced over at him, still getting off the start line faster than Arthur.  “What, jealous that my not-boyfriend is fitter than yours?”

“You’re referring to Merlin, aren’t you?” Arthur asked flatly.  Gwaine’s smug look answered that for him.  Arthur rolled his eyes, and internally cursed Gwaine.  With the distraction of school work and trying to hold his own against Gwaine in strip Mariokart, Arthur had managed to avoid thinking about Merlin all day.  Of course, now that he’d been brought back to thinking about him, it was like the floodgates had been opened.

He thought about how Merlin’s day might have gone, based on what he remembered of his schedule.  He knew Merlin had two clasess on Fridays, so he would have been relaxing somewhere for most of the day.  Probably out with friends tonight, maybe out on a date with some bloke from another class.

Arthur forced his mind back onto the race, which he was losing quite spectacularly, even for him.  He managed to regain a little bit of ground, but it was still an epic loss.

“You know I’m just joking,” Gwaine told him during the next race.

“I know.”

“You two fancy each other, but that doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“I _know_ , Gwaine.”

They didn’t talk again until the end of the next race.

“All right, that’s three, Princess!  Take off something real this time!”

“You realize you’re the one racing as a princess, right?” Arthur pointed out as he pulled his socks off.  “I’m Mario, the name character.  Not a princess.”

“You’re always a prissy little princess,” Gwaine retorted with a grin, ruffling Arthur’s hair.  Arthur pulled away with a shout, using one hand to pat it flat again while the other held onto his controller.  “Besides, Princess Peach is a fucking badass.  She kicks ass in her pink dress.  Fuck gender roles, that’s what I say.”

Arthur laughed and selected the next race course.  “Fuck gender roles.  Right.”

They play the next round in a companionable silence.  Arthur loses again; he adds his undershirt to the pile.

“Pretty soon I’m going to run out of clothes to take off,” Arthur pointed out.

“That’s why we made the two-out-of-three rule in the first place.  Maybe we should change it to a three-out-of-five rule, but we still play five races before we stop.”

Arthur shrugged.  “Maybe.  Or you could lose on purpose.  It would give you an excuse to show off your ‘fit body.’”  Arthur made sure to include air-quotes when he said it.

Gwaine whipped off his shirt.  “I don’t need an excuse.”

Arthur rolled his eyes and put his attention back on the game.

The next race was silent again.

Just as they were in the countdown for the start of the next one, Gwaine blurted out, “I’m going to ask Percival out tomorrow.”

Arthur jumped and pressed the wrong button, sending Mario off the edge of the racetrack.  “What?!”

“I’m asking Percival out.  Tomorrow,” Gwaine replied, looking at Arthur but still steering Princess Peach perfectly around the course.

“On a date?”

“On a date.  With me.”

“You… don’t date,” Arthur replied, completely confused.  It was true; in the three years Arthur had known Gwaine, Gwaine had never gone on a date.  There were a few breakfasts with girls and guys, but they were all ones he had slept with the night before, and he never saw them again.  And as far as Arthur knew, Gwaine hadn’t slept with Percival yet.  “Have you slept with him yet?”

Gwaine paused the game before answering.  “No.”

That was even more shocking.  “Are you… planning on sleeping with him?”

“Of course,” Gwaine scoffed, as if the question were ridiculous.  Arthur had to admit that it kind of was.  “I’m just… going to take him to dinner first.”

“So you think he’s going to say yes?”

“Of course he is.”

Arthur nodded.  Percival was going to say yes.  He’d seen the two of them together.  For all of his muscles, Percival had a heart made of puppies.  He made doe-eyes at Gwaine when he thought nobody was watching.  To be honest, Gwaine did the same.  And they played strip Mariokart together.  Arthur could definitely see Percival losing on purpose so that he could watch Gwaine drool over him.

“Well, when are you going to see him this weekend?”

“He’s coming over tomorrow, to study for our econ test.”

Arthur frowned slightly; Merlin was going to be over tomorrow, too.  “What time?”

Gwaine hesitated.  “Around two.”  Arthur opened his mouth the respond but Gwaine cut him off.  “I know that’s when Merlin’s going to be here, but it’s the only time Perce’s free.  He’s volunteering in the morning and he has to cover someone’s shift for dinner.”

Arthur sighed, but he knew he couldn’t deny Gwaine this.  Gwaine was his best friend, and it was rare that he had more than a passing physical attraction to anybody.  Gwaine had even admitted he’d wanted to flirt with Arthur when he first met him, and he did flirt with every new person he encountered.  He wondered if that would change, when he started dating Percival.

“I don’t mind,” Arthur told him, only half-lying.  “Merlin and I can go in my room, and you and Percival can have the rest of the space.”

Gwaine smiled at him, obviously relieved.  “Great.  It… took a lot to decide to finally ask him, so I’m glad I don’t have to push it off.”

Arthur smiled back.  Gwaine obviously really cared about Percival, if his overwhelming self-confidence had needed a boost for this.  “Yeah.  Good luck.”

“I don’t need luck,” Gwaine retorted, un-pausing their race and making Arthur scramble to get his hands around the controller properly.  “I just need to flip my hair and Perce will agree to anything I say.”

“I don’t know, you might need to show off your abs first,” Arthur replied, finally getting Mario under control.

“Great idea.  I think I’ll do that even if Perce doesn’t need the convincing.”

Arthur rolled his eyes but didn’t try to bring him down.  A real relationship would only do good for Gwaine, who had made it his mission last year to sleep with someone in every degree program.  Not that there was anything wrong with that, but… Arthur could tell that Gwaine hadn’t been at his happiest that year.  Not even when he’d _managed_ to sleep with someone in every program.  Arthur was convinced it had something to do with Percival having a girlfriend for most of the year, but Gwaine always denied it.

Percival hadn’t really been at his happiest that year either.  A relationship would be good for both of them, especially with each other.

Arthur wondered, sometimes, if it would help him to be in a relationship, too.


	13. Merlin

“My flatmate has a friend over,” Arthur said as soon as he opened the door, stepping into the hall and forcing Merlin to move back from the door.  Arthur glanced back into his flat, then shut the door behind him.  Merlin wondered faintly if Arthur had remembered to leave it unlocked.

“All right,” Merlin replied hesitantly, trying to figure out why Arthur felt the need to tell him this.  It couldn’t be anything too serious, as Arthur looked more embarrassed than enraged.

“He said they’d be studying for economics,” Arthur explained, crossing his arms across his chest and drawing Merlin’s attention to the surprisingly threadbare shirt Arthur was wearing.  Merlin hadn’t seen him wear anything but button-downs and polo shirts since they’d met.  This, Merlin realized, was what Arthur wore when he was relaxed and didn’t feel the need to posture for the world.  “I knew he was planning on asking him out—”

“Who?”

“Our friend, Percival.  Anyway, he’s going to ask Percival on a date, and I recommended—jokingly!—that he should show off his abdominals first, to make sure Percival would say yes.”

“And he took your suggestion seriously,” Merlin finished, raising his eyebrows at Arthur with a grin.  Arthur blushed and cleared his throat.

“Yes, he rather did.  They’re playing strip Mariokart.”

That shocked a laugh out of Merlin.  “Strip Mariokart?  How does that even work.”

Merlin didn’t think it was possible, but now Arthur looked even more uncomfortable.  “It’s simple, just like any other game, except the loser has to take off an article of clothing.”

Merlin took pity on him and decided not to press further.  “Well, can’t we just go in?  We won’t be bothering them, if they’re not studying.”

Arthur’s lips pressed into a thin line and he uncrossed his arms, rubbing his palms against the legs of his jeans.  “Fine.  I guess.”

Why was it such a big deal? Merlin wondered as Arthur turned to open the door to the flat again.  Was he afraid Merlin would be disgusted by the sight of half-naked men?  It was the complete opposite, really, and shouldn’t Arthur know that from when they flirted when they first met?

But Merlin didn’t want to think about that, so he just left Arthur’s behavior as a mystery. 

When he stepped into the flat, the two very fit, half-naked men weren’t the first thing he noticed.  First, he saw how pristine it was.  There were obvious attempts to disturb the order of it, some beer bottles strewn about and a pair of pants hanging from a lamp, but it couldn’t take away from how clean and organized everything was.  Merlin immediately decided that it was Arthur’s doing.  It made sense, with the pressed slacks and button-downs.

He couldn’t help a small chuckle, making Arthur glance over at him with an affronted look.  Merlin nudged him with an elbow, trying to cheer him up.  They were friends now, sort of, he thinks, so it was right to want to cheer his friend up.

“It’s very… clean,” he said seriously, but couldn’t stop the grin from spreading over his face.

Arthur just rolled his eyes.  He opened his mouth to retort, but Gwaine cut him off.

“Princess!” he called out.  Merlin was glad he was still looking at Arthur, because the bright red blush on his cheeks was something he didn’t want to miss.  “Come play with us!”

That brought Merlin’s eyes over to the two on the sofa.  They were really very fit, he thought a bit faintly, staring at the defined muscles of their chests and abdomens.  Then he glanced back at Arthur, and he wondered if Arthur had muscles like that, too.

Merlin suddenly wanted to play strip Mariokart very badly.  “You can teach me how to play,” he told Arthur, trying not to sound too hopeful.

Arthur barely acknowledged him before he shook his head.  “No.  We have our project to do.”

“After?” Merlin asked, widening his eyes just a little for the innocent look that had always earned him extra helpings from his mum.  Arthur, predictably, caved.

“Fine.  Once we have a solid concept and a plan of how to execute it,” Arthur replied.  Merlin smiled back.  Arthur watched him for a moment, his face completely neutral, before he spun around and started down the hall.

“He’s already got you whipped!” Gwaine called out, making Arthur stop dead.  He turned to yell something back, but Gwaine had already jumped off the couch and stalked over to them.  He turned a slick smile on Merlin.  “Nice to see you again.”

“You too,” he replied with a smile.  Gwaine tried to sidle closer; Merlin took a definitive step away.  Hadn’t Arthur said Gwaine was going to ask the other one out?  Well, either way, Merlin’s disinterest should be clear enough.  He glanced over at Arthur, and why was he smiling now, of all times?

“Percival,” the other man said, appearing next to Gwaine, making Merlin jump slightly.  Merlin’s eyes widened; he was huge, in every way that he could see.  Probably in ways he couldn’t see, too.  Merlin juggled his laptop bag and the stack of books until he got a hand free to shake it.  “Merlin,” he replied, trying to keep his eyes on Percival’s face.  He didn’t quite manage.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Arthur looked particularly disgruntled.

“We really have work to do,” Arthur snapped.  He grabbed Merlin’s arm and tugged him away from Gwaine and Percival.  Merlin tried to pull out of his grip, but it was more of a token struggle than anything.  He offered Gwaine and Percival a small wave and a smile, but that was all he could manage before Arthur pulled him into a room and the door slammed shut.

“You shouldn’t encourage them like that!” Arthur scolded, letting go of Merlin and stomping further into the room.

“They call you ‘Princess’?” Merlin asked, instead of responding to Arthur’s statement.  Arthur turned to him, looking betrayed.  Merlin really tried not to find it adorable, but he didn’t succeed.  He was a little remorseful, but not enough to leave it be.  “I’m surprised they didn’t go for ‘Blondie’.”

“Shut up,” he muttered, forcefully grabbing a stack of books from his desk.  Merlin wanted to giggle; only Arthur could pick up books with righteous anger.  When Arthur slammed them down onto the floor, Merlin did let out a small laugh.  “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not making fun of you,” Merlin replied, plopping down on the floor with his own stack of books cradled in his arms.  “I think it’s great you have close friends like that.”  And no, he was not at all bitter.  So what if he didn’t really have friends at Albion yet?  It’d only been two weeks.  There was Freya in his writing class, and her boyfriend.  They were kind of friends.  They talked in class, and sure, they hadn’t seen each other outside of class yet, but there was still time.

Arthur sighed and sat in front of him.  “I didn’t choose them.  I play footie with them, and Gwaine latched onto me when we met in our last year before university.  I couldn’t get rid of him.”

Why would Arthur want to get rid of Gwaine?  But it would be rude to ask, even Merlin knew that.  “He seems nice enough.”

“Can we stop talking about Gwaine?”  Coming from Arthur, it sounded less like a request and more like a demand.  So Merlin nodded, and took his battered laptop out of his bag.

“I thought we could draw up an outline,” he offered, as a sort of olive branch.  Arthur studied him for a moment, and then reached for his pad and pen.  Merlin smiled widely and started booting up his computer.

“Have you thought more about the topic?” Merlin asked, trying to fill the silence while he was waiting for his computer.

“Yes,” Arthur replied, starting to write in short-hand.  “We decided on environment conservation, right?”  He glanced up at Merlin.  Merlin nodded.  “We could focus on successful past business practices that are environmentally safe, or improvements on current practices that would make them environmentally safe.  We’d need to show the difference in revenue with the changes, and if it would increase profit.  Of course we’d need to factor in the people that boycott environmentally destructive companies, and what their added support would mean.  Then we can prove either that businesses should be environmentally safe for the environment and their business, or that human desire to help the planet needs to win out for environmentally conscious business practices.”

Merlin’s mouth hung open.  He understood about half of what Arthur was saying, but it sounded… intelligent.  It sounded like the kind of thing you’re supposed to do a project on in uni.  So he forced his mouth closed before Arthur could notice, and nodded.  “That sounds… good,” he said, looking at his screen and trying to figure out what to type.  “I don’t know much about business, though.”

“Don’t worry, I can handle that part,” Arthur replied absently.  Merlin glanced at what he was writing.  It was still shorthand, but Merlin felt like he wouldn’t have been able to figure it out even if he could read it.  “Since we’ll both be doing the oceanography and environment part, do you mind putting the slideshow together?”

“Slideshow?”

“To present our findings,” Arthur said, finally looking up from his notebook.  He was frowning a little, obviously confused.  “We put it all in a slideshow, so it’s easier for the class to write down and we don’t need to talk as much.”

Merlin thought about it for a moment, then nodded.  “All right, I can do that.  I’ll need to figure out how to make a slideshow, but I can do it.”

Arthur gave him a small smile and then returned his attention to his notepad.  Merlin typed their responsibilities into a document, then sat back and wondered what he should do now.  Arthur was still writing away, and obviously had a detailed plan of action for this project.  Merlin didn’t even understand half of what they were researching.

“Do you think…” he started hesitantly.  Arthur looked up immediately, his eyebrows up in a way that managed to look welcoming instead of incredulous.  Merlin took a second to marvel at it, then he continued on.  “Can you teach me about some of these business things?  Just so I know what it means?”

Arthur smiled and his eyes went soft.  “Of course.”  He took a book off the stack beside him, the cover declaring it _Introduction to Business Management_.  He scooted next to Merlin and opened the textbook to the first chapter.  “This book has a lot of information, and you don’t need to know it all.  You see, here’s revenue…”

Merlin was paying attention to what Arthur was telling him.  He took notes and everything.  But he also noticed that Arthur didn’t seem as excited about this as he did when discussing the plan for their project.  It made sense, of course, because this was a lot more basic than their project.  But Merlin didn’t think that was all of it.  He had a knack for reading people.

He started glancing at Arthur’s face every so often, as he explained everything.  Through the whole first chapter, Arthur only smiled when he was looking over at Merlin.

He’d leave that to think about for when he wasn’t trying to learn business management.


	14. Arthur

Arthur had always been trained to devote his attention completely to one task, so that it could be completed with the highest rate of success.  He never had any trouble focusing on the work he was doing, no matter how boring it was.  And this, thinking about connecting business and the ocean, should be easier, because it was utterly fascinating.  But right now, he could barely focus enough to read the words in front of him.

It was Merlin’s fault, of course.

He would have better concentration if Merlin wasn’t sitting next to him biting his fingernails.  Normally he hated anything so disgusting.  But when Merlin did it, it was different.  Merlin made everything different.

He looked back at his notes, and frowned slightly, trying to get back into the flow of his thought process.  He made a note about the figures they’d need to gather from companies’ websites.  His eyes flicked back up to look at Merlin, who was still biting his nails.  He was frowning down at the book Arthur had given him, his lips moving slightly as if he was reading it out to himself.

Arthur couldn’t help but smile.  Business didn’t seem like something that fit Merlin, and it obviously wasn’t something that he picked up easily.  But he was trying.  It was like a puppy trying to climb the stairs before it was big enough, Arthur thought.

After another few moments of watching Merlin, he remembered he promised not to stare at him anymore, and hurriedly looked back at his notebook.

The shorthand that was usually so easy for him to understand blurred in front of his eyes. Usually that only happened after a couple solid hours of work, but they couldn’t been there that long.  He glanced at the alarm clock beside his bed, and his eyes widened.  They’d been working for two hours, and barely had anything done.  If he’d been working by himself, Arthur knew that he’d have at least a couple sources for the basic research down.  But having to explain everything to Merlin took time, and apparently more of it than he thought.

But it wasn’t Merlin’s fault.  Arthur knew that.  Merlin had never learned about business management before, so it made sense he had no idea what any of the vocabulary meant.  That had never stopped Arthur’s father for yelling at him, of course, but this was _Merlin_.  And that made it different.

Trying to quit thinking about his father, he instead thought about Merlin.  It was a tactic he’d been using recently, and it always worked wonderfully.  As soon as he opened the floodgates, memories and thoughts would stream into his mind, all connected to Merlin.

When did Merlin become this big a part of his thoughts?  It was unnatural.  Feelings didn’t just _happen_ like this.  Arthur didn’t really have that much experience with relationships, at least outside of that ill-conceived fling with Gwaine that they never spoke about, but he at least knew that you didn’t just get attached to someone.  It started with flirting, and then some dates, and _then_ the attachment.

But when Arthur saw Merlin in the pet store, everything had shifted in a way he didn’t really understand.  He had to speak with him, get to know him.  It wasn’t supposed to happen that way.

“I need a break,” Merlin declared suddenly, making Arthur jump a little.  “I’ve been reading this stuff for the last two hours!”

“Two hours isn’t that long,” Arthur replied, even though he was wishing he could go get his glasses from his desk.  They were unflattering, Morgana always said, so he didn’t want to wear them in front of Merlin.  Merlin didn’t seem like one of those people that would care that much, but he still didn’t want to look bad in front of him.  This wasn’t new; he cared what people thought.  It wasn’t just Merlin.

“But you said we could go play with Gwaine and Percival once we got an outline,” Merlin reminded him, already closing the textbook on his lap.  “And we’ve done more than the outline.”

“Fine,” Arthur said shortly.  He tried to sound neutral about it, but he wasn’t happy about going out into the living room.  He’d seen how Merlin had looked at both of them out there.  Besides, Merlin would laugh at how bad he was at Mario kart.  He didn’t want to look like a fool.

Merlin grinned at him.  He looked so happy, and Arthur couldn’t stand it.  Of course he liked seeing Merlin happy, but it should be _him_ making Merlin happy, not Gwaine and Percival.  At the same time, though, he wanted Merlin to be happy, no matter how it happened.

Sometimes Arthur honestly scared himself with how quickly he had let himself be conquered by Merlin.

Arthur offered him a smile, then put his notebook off to the side.  Just as he stood up and opened the door, a loud moan came from the living room.  Arthur flushed red and he slammed the door shut.

Merlin was just as red, if not more so.  He was staring at the door to Arthur’s room, standing stiffly.

“I don’t think they’re playing anymore,” Merlin managed to say, trying to grin at Arthur, but still looking ridiculously uncomfortable.

“He did say he was going to ask Percival out,” Arthur replied, stepping away from the door and back over to Merlin, which couldn’t be a bad thing.  “I thought Percival would at least hold back on sex for a while.”

That made Merlin flush even more and look away.  It was the sex, then, Arthur noted.  He’d been desensitized to it after living with Gwaine for almost a year, but it was obvious Merlin hadn’t been exposed to it like that.  Merlin sat back on the floor, and Arthur sat in the same place he’d been sitting, too.

He cast about for some other topic to talk about, but with muted groans coming through the walls, he couldn’t think of anything.

“When did you learn shorthand?”  Merlin asked randomly.  Arthur glanced over at his open notebook, then back at Merlin.  Normally people didn’t notice, or if they did, they didn’t know what it was.  No one had actually been interested in the things he did.

“My father taught it to me when I was six,” Arthur told him, closing the notebook.  He didn’t like discussing his father, and he definitely didn’t like discussing the lessons he was given.

“But…” Merlin looked adorably confused.  “You would have been learning to write normally then, too.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, he taught me to write much earlier than that.” He left it at that, and hoped that Merlin did, too.  Merlin looked like he regretted pointing out the shorthand at all, so maybe Arthur had been a little too short with him.  He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  Feelings were difficult.  “We’ll probably be stuck in here for a while.”

Merlin’s eyes flickered over to the bed behind Arthur, the one he made neatly every morning and changed the sheets on every weekend, then his blush made a reappearance.  Arthur didn’t let the panic he felt bleed out into his expression.  Just that one little glance made images shoot through Arthur’s mind: Merlin lying back on the plain white sheets, his eyes half-lidded and lips parted, arms stretched over his head.  Arthur would kiss down his chest and—

And he was in the middle of a conversation with Merlin.  He was talking to Merlin _and_ imagining him naked in his bed.  This needed to stop.

“We could watch something?” Merlin suggested, a little hesitant.  “There’s probably a few _Doctor Who_ episodes on the iplayer.”

Arthur smiled, and nodded.  “I didn’t manage to watch the last few weeks’.”

Merlin’s eyes widened.  “What?!  How can you miss _Doctor Who_!”  His voice went oddly shrill, higher than Arthur thought a man’s voice should be able to go, and the steady stream of noises from the living room cut off suddenly.

Arthur looked at Merlin, and Merlin stared back.  They both burst out laughing at the same time.  “I think they heard you,” Arthur gasped, trying to calm down.

“Well then you should keep up to date on _Doctor Who_!” Merlin retorted, tears in his eyes as he fell against Arthur’s side.  “What kind of Brit are you?”

“One with too much work,” Arthur huffed, automatically curling his arm around Merlin’s back to help hold him up.  As soon as he did it, he regretted it.  You didn’t hold your friends like that, and they weren’t really even friends yet.  But he could almost imagine the disappointment on Merlin’s face if Arthur pulled back now.  So he left his arm around Merlin, savored the feeling of their bodies pressed together, and promised himself he wouldn’t touch Merlin like this again.

“Well, I’ll become your _Doctor Who_ reminder,” Merlin announced, breaking Arthur out of his thoughts.  “I’ll come over on Saturdays and make sure you watch the episodes.  I have to do laundry tonight, but next week, I’ll make sure you watch _Doctor Who._ ”  Merlin stated it as if Arthur wouldn’t refuse, like they’d been friends for years instead of knowing each other for days.

And Arthur couldn’t refuse Merlin anything.


	15. Merlin

Merlin was able to hold himself together until he stepped outside of his flat and locked the door behind himself.  It hadn’t really hit him until then that he was actually going to do this.

He had invited himself to Arthur’s flat to watch _Doctor Who_ , and he was actually going.  It wasn’t like he was unwelcome, though.  Arthur had even asked yesterday, when they met to discuss their project and the new movies coming out.  And when he’d said he was still coming over, Arthur had smiled at him and his eyes had gone all soft…

Merlin shook his head quickly, trying to push those thoughts away.  The old lady that lived next door gave him an odd look.  He offered her a wobbly smile, clutched the strap of his laptop bag, and started to the stairs.

There isn’t any reason he should be so anxious about going over to Arthur’s.  He knew that.  Really, he did.  But he couldn’t push the anxiety away.  He and Arthur were just friends.  There was nothing odd about going to your friend’s house to watch _Doctor Who_.  That was what friends did.

And he and Arthur actually were friends.  Sure, originally Gaius had asked him to be friendly to Arthur, but he hadn’t told him to hang out with Arthur all the time.  Merlin and Arthur had seen each other five times this week outside of lecture, not that he was counting.  They’d met twice in the coffee shop on campus, once in the student union, and twice in the dining hall.  Not that Merlin cared enough to remember.  He was just guessing.

Just like how he definitely didn’t know Arthur’s coffee order or his favorite meal to get in the dining hall.  He also didn’t know Arthur’s favorite book, or movie, or band.

Merlin realized he was ridiculous.  He couldn’t bring himself to care, not when he was worrying about acting like a fool in front of Arthur.

Oh god, he was going to look like an idiot tonight.  Kilgarrah had pressed him into wearing his nice blue shirt, the one he’d been wearing when he first met Arthur.  He’d tried explaining to Kilgarrah that this wasn’t a date, but the axolotl wouldn’t listen to him.

So now he was overdressed for this, and it wasn’t a date.  It didn’t matter that they’d been spending time together, and that they always lost track of time when they met and that Merlin had been late to three classes because of Arthur.  That didn’t matter because they were just friends.

He had more important things he should be worrying about.  He had his first test in his maths class this week, and differentials were even more difficult than he’d thought they’d be.  He could probably ask Arthur for help.  Arthur seemed like he’d be a good teacher.  He’d explained all of the business stuff pretty well, after all.

Okay, different train of thought.  He should be thinking about the conservation society he joined.  They were trying to come up with specific companies and areas to target, and he should be brainstorming for them.  He already had a list of the least environmentally friendly companies thanks to Arthur and his project, and Arthur would probably know whom he should contact in each of them.

All right, trying something else.  He needed to ask his mum for some money for new clothes.  He’d been wearing the same trousers since year 6, and they didn’t even cover his ankles anymore.  Normally it would be fine, but they started getting holes, too.  He wouldn’t be able to wear them much longer.

He smiled to himself; finally, a train of thought that didn’t lead to Arthur.  Then his smile fell, because he’d brought it back to Arthur anyway.

It was just so hard to _think_.  He’d never experienced this kind of obsession before.  Obsession was the only word he could think of.  What else could describe this all-consuming feeling?  It had such a negative connotation, and he didn’t think it was negative, but that was the only word.

Merlin wasn’t good with words.  He wasn’t that great with feelings either.  He was better with action, but there was no action he could take.  He’d be jeopardizing this friendship he’d built with Arthur.  It was only a week in, but he already knew that there was no way he could do that.

His mum had told him once that there were some people that you just know are meant to be in your life.  You meet them, and get to know them, and you can just tell that you’ll want to be around them forever.  That’s what Arthur was.

Merlin had been tempted to call his mum and tell her, but she would have asked for more information about Arthur, and he wasn’t sure what he would tell her.  He knew hardly anything about Arthur.  He knew things he liked, and his mannerisms, and that he used shorthand and hated typing.  But that wasn’t stuff he could tell his mum.  She’d ask about his family, and where he came from.  Merlin didn’t even know his last name.

It wasn’t important, he decided.  What’s in a name, really?  It’s more important that he knows who Arthur is than who his family is.  Sure, he was curious, but it didn’t actually matter.  At all.

Okay, it bugged him a little bit that Arthur didn’t tell him anything about himself.  It was really all things Merlin pried out of him, figured out, or observed.  Arthur knew a lot about Merlin.

It didn’t _matter_ , Merlin reminded himself.  He and Arthur were friends.

He didn’t realize that he’d reached Arthur’s building until he was about to walk past the door.  He stared up the building.  He could pick out the window for Arthur’s living room, and his bedroom right next to it.  He sighed softly, squared his shoulders, and pressed the buzzer.

The door unlocked immediately.  Merlin stepped inside and started up the steps, wishing Arthur had been a little slower to buzz him in.  He needed the time to compose himself.

He figured he’d get that time before he knocked on the door to Arthur’s flat.  That hope, too, was dashed when he reached the right floor and Arthur was waiting in the hallway for him.

“Gwaine has Percival over again,” Arthur explained, lips twisted into a pout.  Merlin grinned, because he knew Arthur would vehemently deny that he was pouting.  “They’re disgusting together.”

“Disgusting?” Merlin asked, brushing his fringe out of his eyes and adjusting the strap of his bag.

“They’re _cuddling_.  And using pet names.  And kissing.”

“They’re dating,” Merlin replied pointedly, stopping in front of him.  “That’s what people that are dating do.”

“I’m never going to do that when I date someone,” Arthur declared, pushing himself off from the wall.  “I won’t force everyone in the vicinity to put up with that.”

Merlin’s grin melted into a fond smile.  “I don’t know, cuddling has its merits.”

Arthur eyed him for a moment, somehow managing to look endearingly superior, before turning and opening the door.  Merlin chuckled a little and followed him inside.  He wondered, for just a moment, if Arthur really wouldn’t cuddle with whomever he decided to date.  Lance had always said Merlin was very tactile, but if Arthur didn’t like that… Then it didn’t matter, because they weren’t going to date.  It wasn’t an issue.  It didn’t matter.

“What took you so long!” Gwaine called out when he twisted around and saw Merlin at the door.  “The episode starts in a couple minutes!”

“He came in plenty of time,” Arthur retorted, settling on the other end of the sofa from Gwaine and Percival.  Merlin hesitated for a second, then squeezed into the small space left.  Gwaine was draped over Percival, so there was room for all of them on the soda, but Percival was _big._

Then Gwaine and Percival started talking quietly and laughing and kissing, and Merlin scooted closer to Arthur.

“See?  It’s disgusting,” Arthur muttered in his ear.  Merlin closed his eyes for a moment, feeling Arthur’s breath fan over the side of his neck.  He still had his red neckerchief on, but he felt like Arthur had managed to go beneath it and burrow into his skin.

“It’s adorable,” Merlin retorted in a whisper.  “I just don’t want to be inside their personal space.”

Arthur just snorted and tuned the telly to BBC One.  Out of the corner of his eye he saw Gwaine start petting Percival’s chest; Merlin leaned away, and consequently, against Arthur.  Arthur shifted a little, and Merlin was suddenly terrified that Arthur was going to move away, or get up and sit on the floor instead of being next to Merlin.

But then Arthur twisted a little and brought his arm on the back of the couch, so Merlin’s shoulder didn’t press into him quite as much.  Merlin smiled, and relaxed, and focused on the telly as the episode started.


	16. Arthur

Arthur would have said that he couldn’t focus on the episode with Merlin pressed against him like that, but he was lying.  He could always focus on Doctor Who.  But once the commercials were on, thoughts of Merlin took over his mind.  Merlin was bony, and his shoulder was digging into Arthur’s side because of the way Merlin was slumped and twisted.  But it wasn’t _that_ uncomfortable, so he didn’t move.

Also, if he moved, he’d probably have to take his arm down from the back of the sofa.  It felt close enough to having his arm around Merlin’s shoulder that he didn’t want to move it.

At some point during the episode, Merlin’s head had fallen onto Arthur’s shoulder.  He had glanced down at the first chance he’d gotten, and saw that Merlin was still wide awake.  He was just resting against Arthur, as if it was completely normal for him to do it.

After a couple minutes, it did feel completely normal.  He felt like they belonged this way.  Well, maybe a little closer, and with Arthur’s arm actually around Merlin.  And maybe Arthur’s head resting on top of Merlin’s.

He realized that thinking like this was dangerous.  He didn’t know if he cared.

And then the episode ended, and Merlin lifted his head and shifted a little away from Arthur, so they weren’t pressed together as much.  Arthur wanted to pull him closer again.

Dammit, maybe Gwaine and Percival were on to something with all the cuddling.

“That was good,” Merlin said, his voice hushed with awe.  Arthur glanced down at him; Merlin was still focused on the telly, even though there were commercials playing again.  “It was… great.”

“Fantastic,” Arthur quipped, looking away from Merlin just before Merlin looked at him.  Merlin laughed quietly and nudged him.

“Watch yourself; you might start making real jokes soon,” Merlin retorted.  Arthur opened his mouth to reply, but Merlin’s stomach grumbled loudly and cut him off.

Merlin flushed bright red as Arthur started laughing.  “Hungry, Merlin?”  He teased, just to see if Merlin could blush brighter.

“I didn’t eat before I came over!” He protested.  “Kilgarrah kept bothering me and I didn’t have the time!”

“I didn’t eat either,” Arthur admitted.  “I had a late lunch.  My alarm didn’t wake me up, and that pushed breakfast back.”

Merlin huffed.  “Well at least you had a late lunch.  I forgot to go food shopping yesterday, so I had some cereal for breakfast and that was it.”

“But you eat breakfast at one in the afternoon,” Arthur reminded him.  “You wake up so late that you don’t even eat breakfast at breakfast time!”

“There’s nothing wrong with sleeping in!  I have early lectures every day of the week, so the weekend is the only chance I get!  Unlike you, Mr. four-o-clock discussion group twice a week.”

“You’re supposed to get shit classes your first year,” Arthur said as he levered himself off the couch.  “It’s initiation.”

Merlin’s bottom lip stuck out in what he would definitely deny was a pout.  Arthur grinned at him and ruffled his hair, making Merlin scowl and smack his hand away.

“There’s a good Indian place down the block,” Arthur offered.  “We can go grab some food.”

Merlin immediately shot off the couch.  “God, yes.  There aren’t any Indian places back home, and the only one close to my flat has weird hours that I can never manage.”

Arthur grinned.  “This one isn’t too far from you, you know.  You could have just walked to it.”

“Too far,” Merlin muttered.  Arthur just shook his head and grinned.

“Bring some back for me and Percy,” Gwaine interrupted to say.

“Percy and me,” Percival corrected automatically.  Gwaine twisted back to kiss him with a low growl.  Arthur grimaced; Merlin giggled.

“Just text me what you want,” Arthur said quickly, then grabbed Merlin’s arm and dragged him outside.  Every time Percival corrected Gwaine’s grammar, it ended in a display of intimacy that Arthur really never needed to see again.  They always seemed to forget that he was in the room, and it had led to many hurried scrambles out of the room.

That was part of why he’d been spending so much time with Merlin.  If he wasn’t in the flat, he couldn’t be exposed to Gwaine and Percival’s… sessions.  And he got to spend time with Merlin, which was a great benefit.  They didn’t even talk about the project all the time, so it was like they were friends that were just hanging out.

He liked being friends with Merlin.  He felt comfortable with him.  Well, comfortable enough to let Merlin lean against him.  He was still hesitant about telling him about… _him_.  Only the people who had met him at the beginning of their first year knew about his family.  It wasn’t traumatic, and he wasn’t exactly ashamed, but it was difficult to tell people who were passionate about the environment that he was the heir to the largest oil drilling company in the world.  Especially when Pendragon Oil was the absolute least environmentally friendly company on every list in the world.

Merlin would definitely not appreciate his new friend being connected to that.

So Arthur didn’t tell him, and everything was going fine.  He had his own views on conservation, and once he was CEO of Pendragon Oil, he could put them into practice.  The research they did for this project would only build up his case to his father and the Board of Directors.

“Which way is it?” Merlin asked, breaking Arthur out from his thoughts.  Sometimes Arthur’s mind started whirling and he couldn’t escape; Merlin was good at helping him get away from it.

“Left,” Arthur replied.  He turned and started walking to the left, knowing that Merlin would catch up within a few steps.

“Do Gwaine and Percival do that often?” Merlin asked, falling into step with Arthur just like he knew he would.

“All the time,” Arthur groaned, stuffing his hands into his pockets.  “One time, I’d run out to get takeaway for the three of us, and I came back and they already had their pants off.  It’s ridiculous!”

“Why don’t they just wait until they go to bed?”

“Percival has two jobs, and he’s almost always works nights, so they usually don’t get to spend nights together.  During the day he’s either asleep, with Gwaine, or in class.”

“You know his schedule pretty well,” Merlin noted.  Arthur winced slightly.  It wasn’t that he’d paid that much attention; he’d asked once and just remembered.  He remembered plenty of things about Merlin, more than he did about Percival or even Gwaine, so Merlin couldn’t be jealous.  Not that Merlin would be jealous, anyway.  Why would he get jealous because Arthur knew Percival’s schedule?  Besides, Percival was with Gwaine and they were disgustingly in love.  Arthur would never try to break them up, even if he liked Percival, which he didn’t.

“He’s been my friend for over a year,” Arthur replied, trying to give a reason other than his selective memory.  Merlin gave him this half-smile that showed he knew the real answer.  Of course he did. Merlin had heard Arthur recite facts he’d learned in the first week of his first year.  Or maybe Merlin was just humoring him, and was actually jealous.  The only way to know was to talk about it more, and Arthur was _not_ going to do that.

“Is this it?” Merlin asked, stopping suddenly.  Arthur looked over and noticed that it was.  He’d almost walked past it.  “I almost walked past your building before, too.”

“You did?”  Arthur asked, pushing open the door to the restaurant and holding it open for Merlin.  “What had you so lost in thought?”

Merlin fidgeted with the edge of his shirt; Arthur tried not to find it endearing.  “I was thinking about my schoolwork.”

Arthur had spent enough time with Merlin this week to know that wasn’t the complete truth, but he’d let Merlin get away with it this time.  He wasn’t sure they were close enough that he could call him out on a lie.

They sat down at a table by the window.  It was a small table, and Arthur’s knees knocked against Merlin’s under it.  He shuffled his feet back under his chair, trying to avoid kicking Merlin.  Merlin noticed what he was doing and grinned at him.  For a moment, Arthur wondered how Merlin could figure out Arthur’s motivations for actions like that, but couldn’t pick up on the motivation behind putting his arm around him.  Arthur really couldn’t figure it out for himself, though, so he shouldn’t expect Merlin to.

“This place is really nice,” Merlin told him, looking around.  “I like the colors.”

Arthur wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not.  The walls were alternating panels of orange and red, and it was almost blindingly bright.  But Merlin had odd tastes.  He’d mix his worn-out green trousers with a bright yellow shirt, and have blue socks on as well.  He could actually like the colors.

“I’m kidding,” Merlin added, apparently noticing Arthur’s confusion.  “It does smell great, though.”

“Yeah, their food is great,” Arthur agreed.  “I usually take it home, though.”

“I can see why.”

Then their waitress came over, and Merlin pasted on that goofy smile that had everyone falling over themselves to please him.  They ordered, and Arthur was unsurprised that Merlin liked his korma mild.  He’d seen him spit out chicken in the dining hall saying there was too much pepper on it.

“We don’t use seasoning or spices in Ealdor,” Merlin told him pointedly once the waitress had left.  He had definitely seen Arthur’s little smirk when he ordered.  “We let the food speak for itself.”

“Seasoning is there so there’s something to taste,” Arthur responded with an arched brow.  “At least try some with a little spice.”

Merlin rolled his eyes.  “Right, your hot chicken tikka is the next logical step from mild chicken korma.”

Arthur shook his head and smiled.  “Just try it.  There’ll be plenty of rice and naan to stop you from burning up.”

Merlin reached across the table and smacked Arthur’s shoulder with a laugh.  “Oh, stop it.  I never make fun of your eating habits.  Cleaning your fork with your napkin when you switch to different foods, for example.”

“That makes complete sense,” Arthur protested.  “Why would I want the leftover mash on my fork when I start eating chocolate cake?”

Merlin just smiled at him, his eyes all soft and warm.  Arthur couldn’t help but smile back.

“So, I have this maths test on Wednesday,” Merlin said, putting his elbow on the table and putting his chin in his hand.  Arthur raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue, even though he knew what Merlin was going to ask.  Merlin was even worse at maths than he was at business, and that was saying a lot.  “Can you help me with my revision?”

“After Invertebrates on Monday,” Arthur replied, taking a sip of his water.  “You don’t have anything to do that night?”

Merlin shook his head.  “No, that works great.  Thanks, I’ve been panicking about this test.  I’m horrible at this unit.”

“You’re horrible at maths in general,” Arthur replied with a teasing smile.  Merlin just nodded, obviously agreeing.

“How about you come to mine, and we can grab Chinese on the walk from campus?” Merlin suggested.  “There’s a decent shop about halfway between.”

“Yeah, that’s good,” Arthur replied, already distracted by the waitress arriving with their food.  He quickly ordered what Gwaine had texted him, so it would be ready by the time they were done eating.

He took a bite of his tikka masala and closed his eyes, savoring the play of spices over his tongue.  He opened them, and saw Merlin’s eyes locked on him, fork hovering above his plate with a chunk of chicken on it.

“Try some,” Arthur invited, bumping Merlin’s leg and pushing his plate over.  Merlin hurriedly shoved the meat on his fork into his mouth.

“Sorry, mouth full,” Merlin told him around his food, a grin on his sauce-stained lips.

“Try some after,” Arthur insisted, already loading up some food on his fork and holding it out to Merlin.  Right after he did that, he wished he hadn’t.  Now Merlin was going to be eating off his fork.  They were sharing a fork.  And he was feeding Merlin.  Oh God, this wasn’t a date, but it felt like one.

It wasn’t a date.  It wasn’t a date.  It was not a date.

Merlin rolled his eyes and leaned forward, biting off the chicken from the fork with as much care as he could.  Because it was Merlin, he still got sauce smeared over his cheek.

“You have some on your face,” Arthur told him, gesturing to his cheek.  Merlin blinked and wiped at the wrong side.  This time Arthur rolled his eyes, and used his napkin to rub the mark away.  Friends didn’t let each other sit there with sauce on their faces, right?  Merlin smiled at him and continued chewing.

“This is good,” Merlin said, his mouth still full of food.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Arthur grumbled.  Merlin’s eyes closed so he could taste the food better, and Arthur took the opportunity to study Merlin.  Sure, he’d promised not to stare at him, but Merlin wouldn’t know.  Besides, Merlin was wearing that blue shirt, and that wasn’t just fair.  It was the same one he’d worn when they first met, the one that brought out Merlin’s eyes and made them look even more beautiful.  Arthur would forever deny that he thought any part of Merlin was beautiful.  He reached for a piece of naan, but the first piece had too much garlic, so he left it for Merlin.  Merlin loved garlic.

And finally the spice caught up with Merlin, and he dove for the naan Arthur had left for him and started tearing it into chunks that he could shove in his mouth.

Arthur laughed, a full-bodied one that he couldn’t control.  Merlin eating was always a spectacle, and even more so when it was spicy Indian.  Merlin didn’t look nearly as amused at first, but he slowly succumbed and ended up laughing as hard as Arthur was.

It was refreshing to be around someone that could laugh at themselves.  Arthur was so used to posturing, and everyone being so overly concerned about looking perfect all the time.  Merlin could shovel food he knew was too spicy into his mouth, and not care when he talked around it.  Arthur could feel tension flowing out of him every time he was around Merlin.  He’d thought the tension was just a fact of life, but he was glad to discover otherwise

They ate in silence, as was their norm.  Both of them appreciated food too much to take attention away from it.

And then their plates were clean, and Gwaine and Percival’s food was sitting on the table next to them.  Once the basket of naan was finished, Arthur gestured for their waitress to bring the check.  She put it down in the middle of the table.  They both reached for it, but Arthur managed to get it first.

“How much do I owe?” Merlin asked, already taking his wallet out.

“Don’t worry about it,” Arthur replied, putting his card into the envelope and handing it back to the waitress.

“No, seriously.  How much do I owe for my dinner?”

“I told you not to worry about it,” Arthur told him, raising his eyebrows.  “I’ve got it.”

“Then I’m paying for Chinese on Monday,” Merlin declared, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Fine, if you want,” Arthur sighed.  Merlin’s smile was victorious, but Arthur still felt like he won.  Even if Merlin didn’t think this was a date, which it wasn’t, it felt enough like one that Arthur decided to pay.  That was what gentlemen did.

Was it different because they were both men?  Would it make Merlin uncomfortable if Arthur paid for him?  Merlin hadn’t looked uncomfortable.  Besides, Merlin was going to pay for their Chinese on Monday.  They could switch off paying, and then they would both be gentlemen.  If they kept going for meals, at least.

Once he’d signed the receipt and put his card away, Merlin stood up and reached for the bag of takeaway.  Arthur swiped it off the table, making Merlin scowl.

“I’m not a teenage girl,” he pointed out to Arthur after Arthur held the door open for him.

“Of course you’re not, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur replied with an easy grin.  “You’re quite obviously a man.”

“Then stop paying for things and holding doors,” Merlin grumbled, his arms swinging by his sides.  Arthur switched the bag to his left hand, so his right was only a few inches from Merlin’s empty left hand.  That way, if he wanted to, he could reach over and take Merlin’s hand.

He wanted to.  He didn’t.


	17. Merlin

“Oh, next you’re going to tell me you skipped Nine!” Merlin snapped as he forced open the door to his flat and stomped inside.

“Of course I didn’t skip Nine,” Arthur retorted.  “I just haven’t seen any of the James Bond movies!”

“You’re a disgrace to the United Kingdom!”

“It’s just James Bond!”

“He is an _icon_ ,” Merlin told him slowly, fighting to keep a smile off of his face.  Arthur raised an eyebrow, obviously not convinced.  Some people might not care about their cultural history, but Merlin had been raised on these movies, and for someone to not even see the more modern ones…

But Arthur didn’t keep up to date on _Doctor Who_.  Obviously he had different priorities.

“I don’t know if we can be friends until you at least watch _Casino Royale_ ,” Merlin said, as solemnly as he could manage.  “In fact, I think we should watch it while we eat.”

“Don’t you have a maths test in two days?” Arthur reminded him, setting the bag of takeaway on the empty space on Merlin’s desk.

“…So?  I want to watch James Bond.”

“Work first.”

Merlin sighed and dug his maths book out from under the pile of research for their project.  He knew that Arthur was here to help him, but he couldn’t help it.  He loved sharing things like this with Arthur.  Like how Arthur had never heard of cat beards, and Merlin got to see his grin and hear his laugh when he saw it for the first time.  Merlin knew that, no matter how long they were friends, he would never get tired of making Arthur laugh.

“How about we go over the chapters, and then you do the practice test in the book, and if you get at least a B on the practice exam, we’ll watch the movie,” Arthur proposed.

Merlin looked over at him, book dangling from one hand.  “Are you seriously bargaining James Bond to get me to do my work?”

Arthur shrugged.  “Whatever works.  Delayed gratification is a good thing to learn.”

“Why should I delay gratification when I can just get what I want now?” Merlin responded.  And he couldn’t help himself, his eyes flickered down to Arthur’s lips.  As soon as he noticed what he’d done, he looked away again, and he hoped Arthur didn’t notice.

“You have much to learn,” Kilgarrah exclaimed from his tank across the room.

“Oh what do you know?” Merlin snapped, whirling around to jab a finger at Kilgarrah’s tank.  “You just keep blabbering on about destiny and coins!”

“He talks?” Arthur asked suddenly.  Merlin looked back at Arthur, biting his lip.  He hadn’t told Arthur about his magic, of course.  Even though it was legal and there were anti-harassment laws, he never knew how people would react.  He hoped Arthur didn’t make the connection between magical pet and magical Merlin.

Plenty of people had talking pets, though.  They were very popular, because they could tell you what they needed instead of making the owner guess.  There, that was a good excuse.

It wasn’t even near the truth, though.  Kilgarrah hadn’t been magicked to be able to speak, like every other talking pet Merlin had heard of.  Kilgarrah had spoken from the beginning.  He also talked about destiny, instead of food and how comfortable his tank was.

“Yeah,” Merlin replied lamely, more than aware that he’d hesitated a little too long before answering.

Arthur went over to the tank, crouching down so he could look into Kilgarrah’s bulging eyes.  “I didn’t get a good look at him the first time was here.  His coloring is very nice.”

“Thank you, young prince,” Kilgarrah replied with a little nod of his head.  Merlin frowned and crossed his arms; Kilgarrah was never that polite to him.

“He’s very complimentary.”

“Only to stupid, blond prats,” Merlin muttered.  Arthur tutted and kept watching Kilgarrah.  Merlin took the opportunity to stare at Arthur’s ass.

He never allowed himself this luxury, but he deserved it for all of the torture Arthur was about to put him through with maths.  Arthur had a truly spectacular ass.  Arthur was muscular from years of football, so his ass was firm and well-shaped.  But he also had a little bit of flab that Merlin teased him about sometimes, giving his ass that plush curve.  And he was wearing a pair of worn jeans today.  They seemed almost molded to him through so much wear, and it was… delicious, really.

Then Arthur straightened up, and Merlin hurriedly turned back to his desk.  “I have a notebook, pencil, and my textbook,” he declared, plopping down on the edge of the rug in the middle of his floor.  “Let’s get started.”

“You’re just eager because you want to watch the movie,” Arthur retorted, sitting cross legged next to him so they could both look at the text book.

“Yes,” Merlin replied, flipping to the chapter on derivatives.

Merlin decided that he might have possibly been a little melodramatic about how much Arthur was going to torture him.  Arthur was practically a slave-driver when they worked on their project, and he’d expected him to be the same way when he tutored.

But he wasn’t.  Arthur was very clear and concise in his explanations, and there wasn’t any of the head smacking and insults that Merlin expected for wrong answers.  He just calmly explained how to do it, and had Merlin try again.

Once they got to the practice exam, Merlin was astonished by how easy it was.  He could actually figure out how to answer the questions, and he got the answers right!  Maths had never been this easy for him before.  Maybe if Arthur had been in Ealdor to help teach him, he would’ve been able to pass.

“I think you should become a maths teacher,” Merlin told him seriously as Arthur checked over his answers.  “You’re obviously missing your calling.”

“I’d never be teacher,” Arthur replied absently, still marking up the test.  Merlin noticed with pride that it was mostly check marks instead of corrections.  “Father would never allow it.”

“Why?”  Merlin knew he shouldn’t be asking questions like this, not when Arthur wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying.  There had to be some reason that Arthur didn’t talk about his family, and this was such an invasion… But he wanted to know.  He couldn’t help wanting to know more and more about Arthur.  The more he found out, the more questions he had, the more he wanted to know.

“Because I have to take over the company,” Arthur told him as he finished checking the last question.  “Congratulations, Merlin.  If this was the real test, you’d get an A.”

Merlin grinned and took the sheet from him, pushing his guilt aside. “Really?”

“Really,” Arthur replied, smiling softly at him.  Merlin put the paper down and leaned over to pull Arthur into a tight hug.

“This is the first time I’ve gotten higher than a C,” Merlin said, his arms locked around Arthur’s neck.  He barely noticed the moment’s hesitation before Arthur’s arms were around his waist and pulling him closer.

“Then that’s even more impressive,” Arthur told him.  His hands were warm on Merlin’s back, and Merlin could feel his heart beating in his chest.

He allowed himself almost 30 seconds of bliss in Arthur’s arms before he loosened his grip and pulled away.  Arthur let go of him easily enough, and sat back as well.  Merlin hadn’t even realized that Arthur had leaned towards him as well.

That hug had been nice.  Nicer than Merlin had thought it would be.  He always thought that Arthur wouldn’t know how to hug, and he’d just sit there, all frozen.  But he’d been warm, and strong, and gentle.  Merlin really needed to stop thinking about this.  It wasn’t healthy, to be focusing so much on a _hug_ from his friend.

“We should probably eat now,” Arthur said, after a moment of silence.

Merlin nodded and scrambled to his feet.  “Yeah, I can reheat it, and then I can put the movie in.”

“I’ll reheat it; you just handle the movie,” Arthur replied, standing up a lot more gracefully than Merlin had.  Merlin envied him, sometimes.  He made everything look so easy.  Merlin couldn’t even make things he was good at look easy.

“All right,” Merlin said, still a half-second too late to seem normal.  He gestured to the little kitchenette in the corner while he started flipping through his DVDs.  “There are dishes in there somewhere.”

“Do you ever cook anything?” Arthur asked as he ventured into the warzone of the kitchenette.  “Everything’s… dusty.”

“I don’t know how to cook more than eggs and toast,” Merlin replied, still looking for _Casino Royale_.  “My mum tried to teach me some things before I left for here, but it was a lost cause.”

“Maybe I should try teaching you,” Arthur told him when he found the plates.  “I know some simple things that even you might be able to handle.”

“Well you seem to be a miracle teacher,” Merlin noted, finally digging the movie out.  “Hurry up with the food!”

“I’m your guest!  You should be getting the food.”

“You offered,” Merlin replied gleefully.  He glanced over at Arthur and grinned.  Arthur met his eyes and sighed, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.  Merlin had gotten used to picking out Arthur’s moods, and he could tell that Arthur wasn’t really that irritated.  He liked to act like he was all high and mighty, but Merlin knew he wasn’t.

With the DVD set, Merlin tried to decide where they should sit.  He’d never had anyone in his flat before, and whenever he watched telly he just sat on the bed.  But would it be weird to sit with Arthur on his bed?  It wasn’t that big, and he hadn’t changed the sheets since he’d been living here…

It was either the bed or the floor.  There was only one chair, and it was the wooden stool at his desk.  While the floor wasn’t too bad, it would get uncomfortable halfway through the movie.  It hadn’t been too bad while they were revising, but that was on the rug, and it wouldn’t fit between the table with the telly and his bed.

So the bed it was.  They’d sit on the bed.  It wasn’t that weird, was it?  He and Lance used to sit on his bed to read together, but all right, that wasn’t the best example.  He and Lance had dated, and he and Arthur weren’t dating.  Not yet, at least.  Or, realistically, not at all.  Even though that dinner on Saturday had seemed like one.

Merlin sat on the bed before he could change his mind.

Arthur brought over the two plates of food, handing one to Merlin before sitting on the bed next to him.  Merlin had just dug the remote control out from under his blanket when Arthur nudged him and held out his plate.

“I need to run to the bathroom,” he said, looking a little embarrassed.  Merlin chuckled and took his plate.

“This is all just an elaborate plot to avoid watching James Bond,” Merlin accused, but he took Arthur’s plate.

“Oh, you’ve caught on.  My dastardly plan is ruined.  How will I ever go on?” Arthur replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.  Merlin laughed, and watched Arthur as he headed into the bathroom.  His eyes drifted to Arthur’s ass again, even though he tried not to.  It was truly magnificent.  But he knew that he couldn’t tell him.  They were friends, and you didn’t compliment your friends on their asses.

“Destiny waits for no man,” Kilgarrah told him, “And it does not follow the universe’s arbitrary laws.”

“What are you talking about?” Merlin asked with a sigh.

“You need to tell the young prince of your affection.”

“First of all, don’t call him a ‘young prince,’” Merlin ordered.  “And second, I don’t have any _affection_.  Finally, I wouldn’t tell him even if I did!  He’d hate me!”

“A half cannot truly hate that which makes him whole.”

“Kilgarrah,” Merlin said seriously, leaning over to stare into the tank and directly into Kilgarrah’s eyes.  “I need you to stop this.  You can tell me all you want about destiny once Arthur leaves, all right?  Just please, please, stop it for now.”

“I can sense your desperation, young warlock,” Kilgarrah replied as he swam in circles in his tank.  “I will cease my attempts to assist you and your destiny, for now.”

Merlin smiled at him.  “Thank you.”

Arthur opened the door to the bathroom, wiping his hands on his jeans.  “You don’t have any towels in there,” he complained, stepping over the pants Merlin had forgotten to pick up off the floor.

“Oh stop complaining,” Merlin said with a smile, holding Arthur’s plate out to him.  “Only prats have towels in their bathrooms.  Us common folk just wipe our hands on our trousers.”

Arthur chuckled and took his plate, settling next to Merlin again.

The bed was a little saggy in the middle, so Merlin wound up leaning against him a little bit.  It definitely wasn’t because he enjoyed having Arthur’s solid, warm body as close to him as possible.

No, that definitely wasn’t it.


	18. Arthur

When Arthur got to the coffee shop, Merlin was already sitting at a table by the window with two drinks in front of him.  He smiled a little and walked up quietly behind Merlin.

Merlin would always get deeply involved in whatever he was doing, no matter what it was.  He’d always block out everything around him.  Arthur loved surprising him when he was working, because he always jumped and blushed and scowled at Arthur.  He wasn’t really mad, though, just embarrassed.  Arthur could tell.

So he put his hands on Merlin’s shoulders and relished the feel of Merlin jerking under his hands.  Merlin put his head back to look up at Arthur, a scowl on his face.

“Why do you always have to do this?” He hissed, reaching up to smack the side of Arthur’s head.

Arthur laughed and let go of him, then slid into the seat across from him.  “It’s funny, that’s why.”

“You’re a prat,” Merlin declared.  Arthur just smiled and reached for his coffee.  Merlin moved the cup further away from him.  “Did I say this was for you?”

“Why, you want two drinks?”

“I might,” Merlin said haughtily.  Arthur raised an eyebrow.  “And maybe I’ve developed a taste for black coffee.”

Arthur snorted, thought for a brief moment about how impolite that was, then didn’t care because this was Merlin.  “Right.  If you had coffee, you’d put in more sugar than you put in your tea.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the amount of sugar I put in my tea!” Merlin protested.

“So you haven’t developed a taste for black coffee,” Arthur told him.

Merlin sighed melodramatically and pushed the mug over to him.  “All right, just take your coffee.”

Arthur smiled at him, and tried to keep it from being ridiculously sappy.  “Thank you.”

Merlin tried to keep glaring at him, but the smile won over, and soon he was grinning back.  Arthur loved that, that Merlin couldn’t really stay angry.  He’d always try to, but it was like a pouting kid.  Soon enough, they let go of whatever was upsetting them.

There were a lot of things he loved about Merlin.  He’d tried listing them, last night when thoughts of Merlin were swarming his mind and keeping him from sleep, but he hadn’t been able to manage it.  They were just things he noticed, when he spent time with Merlin.  They were hard to describe, and he was sure he wouldn’t like them even half as much if it were someone else with them.  It was because it was Merlin, which had become a default explanation for too many things he’s been doing.

“I had my maths test today,” Merlin told him as Arthur took out his Marine Invertebrates notebook.  “I think I did well; there were only a few questions that I had trouble with.”

“That’s great,” Arthur replied, and meant it.  “If you need help again, let me know.  I’d hate for you to fail out of uni.”

“Hey, I’m not that bad!  I do all my homework and everything, so I wouldn’t have _failed_ the class!  Most of the tests, maybe, but I would have passed the class.”

“Of course you would,” Arthur told him, packing as much fake condescension into his voice as he could manage.  He even reached over and patted Merlin’s hand.  He was proud of himself for managing to fake it so well.  It seemed to be the only thing that his father’s parties were good for.

“Oh, bugger off,” Merlin muttered, taking what Arthur supposed was meant to be angry sip of his tea.  But it was still a little too hot for him, as it hadn’t cooled to lukewarm yet, and he wound up coughing when it burned his tongue.  Arthur chuckled and got up to buy a bottle of water for Merlin.  He hated the feel of a burnt tongue, and the water helped.  Merlin always managed to burn his mouth on tea, somehow.

When he returned with the water, Merlin took it with a quiet ‘thanks’ and immediately took a huge swallow, then started coughing on that.  Arthur grabbed the hand holding the bottle and forced it down onto the table.

“Calm down, small sips,” Arthur told him, before letting go of his hand.  Merlin grunted, but took a much smaller sip from the bottle.

“How was Business Ethics?” Merlin asked as soon as he was satisfied with the state of his mouth.  “That’s the one with the rambling professor, right?”

“Yeah, he just goes on and on,” Arthur groaned, settling back in his chair and waiting for his coffee to cool.  “That was why I was late.  Sorry about that, by the way.  He just kept talking and didn’t realize the class was over.  It’s an easy class, though, so it’s not that bad.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Merlin replied.  Arthur wondered about that apology.  He never apologized, even when he really should.  His father had always praised him for it.  But now, he could just casually apologize for something.  It had to be because of Merlin.  “At least the class is easy, so if you don’t listen its fine.  My Ocean Systems professor does the same rambling thing, but I actually have to pay attention.”

“That’s hard,” Arthur responded.  It actually was.  He would probably go crazy if he had to pay attention in Business Ethics.

“Yeah, he builds his tangents into the slideshow, so he plans them, but they don’t make any sense!”

Arthur smiled at him.  “At least you get the notes in a slideshow like that.  None of my professors do that.”

Merlin winced in sympathy.  “That’s even worse.”

Arthur nodded and hummed, then tried a sip of his coffee.  He grimaced when it was still too hot and he burnt the roof of his mouth.  Merlin wordlessly handed over the bottle of water.

“We both need to learn to wait for our drinks,” Merlin noted, grinning at Arthur.

Arthur nodded and played with the handle of his mug.

Ever since Saturday, things had been off.  Normally, they’d be able to do things like get coffee and it would feel like friends getting together.  It felt like _just_ friends, in that way that you know nothing is going to happen.

But everything had shifted on Saturday.  First was the way they sat when they watched _Doctor Who_ , which was so… intimate.  Arthur had felt comfortable like that; of course he had, because it was Merlin pressing into him.  And then when they went to get dinner.  It had felt like a date, the kind that normal students went on.  They shared food, Merlin ate off of his fork, and Arthur had even paid.  It was a date.

Except for the part where you have to establish that it’s a date.  Neither of them actually said it was a date, and they didn’t do anything to prove it was a date.  Sure, eating each other’s food and covering the check was date-like behavior, but it does not a date make.

But it wasn’t just Arthur treating it like a date.  Merlin had, too.  He’d let him pay, and ate off his fork.  And they’d… oh God, they’d been flirting!  They’d been flirting and Arthur hadn’t even realized!

And Monday, when they’d been at Merlin’s, and Merlin had hugged him.  They even sat on Merlin’s bed, and Merlin had leaned against him again.  Merlin had even walked him to the door of the building when he left.

They’d been on two dates, without calling them dates.

Dear Lord, Merlin had bought his coffee, and their hands and touched, and they were flirting again.  They were on a date right now and he didn’t even know it was a date until now.

Some part of his panic must have shown on his face, because Merlin reached out to touch his hand gently, looking concerned.

“Are you all right, Arthur?” He asked, a little hesitantly.

“Go on a date with me,” Arthur blurted out.  Merlin’s eyes widened, and Arthur’s did, too.  He hadn’t meant to say that.  He’d meant to say ‘I’m fine’ or ‘I’m all right’ or ‘don’t worry about it.’  Definitely not ask Merlin on a date!

He was just about to take it back, say he was joking, anything, when Merlin blushed a dark red and nodded.

“All right, let’s go on a date.”

“Seriously?” Arthur asked hoarsely, still frozen with terror.

“Yeah.” Merlin looked down at the table, then back up at Arthur from under his lashes.  “Unless you were joking?”

“No,” Arthur replied quietly.  “I wasn’t joking.  I meant it.  I want to take you on a date.”

“Technically, what we’re on right now is our third,” Merlin told him with a nervous smile.  Arthur breathed a sigh of relief.  He wasn’t the only one that had noticed!  Obviously Merlin had figured it out earlier, but it didn’t matter how long it took him to realize.  He’d still got to it.

“Then maybe I should be taking you back to mine,” Arthur joked.  As soon as he said it, he knew it was a bad idea.  Both of their cheeks flamed red, and Arthur held up his hands defensively.  He definitely would not put it past Merlin to try hitting him.  “Not that I meant I think you’d sleep with me this early, or that you’d want to sleep with me at all!  That one was a joke!”

Merlin chuckled and shook his head.  “It’s fine, I know it was a joke.  I just never thought you, of all people, would make a joke like that.”

“Me of all people?”

“You, all posh and uptight and everything,” Merlin confirmed.  Arthur couldn’t really deny that; Morgana had had two ponies when they were younger.

“Are you free Saturday?” Arthur asked, going back to thinking about their date.  He needed to plan this now.  First they needed a time, then a place to go, then he could figure out the specifics.

“You know I am,” Merlin replied.  Arthur actually did know, but he figured he’d ask to be polite.

“How about eleven on Saturday, then?  I can pick you up.”

“All right,” Merlin said, smiling brightly.  “What are we going to do?”

Damn, Arthur hadn’t thought of anything yet.  “It’s a surprise.”

“You just haven’t figured it out yet, have you?” Merlin asked, leaning forward and putting his elbows on the table.  Arthur cursed Merlin’s ability to see through him like this.

“No,” he ground out.  “But even when I do I’m not going to tell you now.”

Merlin huffed and tried to glare at Arthur.  “Fine, I see how you’re playing it.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Arthur retorted.  And if it came out sexual, well, it was an accident.  Sort of.

It didn’t matter, because they had a date now.  They, Arthur and Merlin, were going to go on a date.  A real date.  That they both agreed was a date.  In advance, even.

Arthur leaned forward to mimic Merlin’s posture, and his elbow bumped into the notebook he’d taken out and then ignored.  “We should probably work on our project.”

Merlin groaned, but took his laptop out of his bag.  “Fine,” he grumbled.  “But after this, I need to keep educating you on James Bond.”

“We both have early lectures tomorrow.”

“So?” Merlin replied with a grin that Arthur couldn’t help but match.   “Live a little, Arthur.”

And really, how could he say no to that?


	19. Merlin

Merlin loved his schedule.  Well, he wished his classes were later, but there was nothing like finishing classes before 3.  He could go take a nap, or watch TV, or get work done.  It was better than Arthur’s class schedule, at least.  He had an hour or two between each of his classes, and they were spread over the entire day, all the way until 5:30

Arthur complained about it a lot.  Merlin had minimal sympathy.

Thinking of Arthur, not that he ever wasn’t, he should send him a text.  Arthur was in that class with the professor that didn’t notice if you were texting.  He took out his phone and squinted to see the screen through the glare from the sun.  Arthur was the last person he’d sent a text to, so at least he didn’t have to type his number in.

_How’s class going?  I’m done for the day_.

At least Merlin didn’t have that paralyzing fright that Arthur would hate him for sending him a text.  He knew that Arthur enjoyed talking to him.  Arthur might not reply right away all the time, but he always eventually did.  Besides, Arthur had asked him on a date.  He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t like Merlin at least a little.

Then his phone beeped with a new message, and Merlin grinned.

_I know you’re done for the day.  Stop gloating._

Oh, he wasn’t in the best mood today.  That made sense, actually.  Merlin knew that Arthur had a discussion group Friday mornings, and he always complained about it the next time they saw each other.

_You get to gloat when you have a late start_.

There, that was a good response.  Not too much of a tease.  Arthur was a bit fragile, sometimes, and teasing him too much was an easy way to irritate him.  It hadn’t taken long for Merlin to figure that out.

_Yes, because you always pout.  I do not pout._

Merlin had a few memories and at least one picture on his cell phone to prove that Arthur did in fact pout.

_Why is it different that I pout?_

While he waited for Arthur’s response, he reached his building and started up the stairs.  He knew Arthur was overthinking his answer.  Honestly, recently it was difficult to flirt with Arthur.  He could tell Arthur did it sometimes without realizing it.  Ever since last Saturday, though, he’d tried doing it on purpose.  Arthur had been receptive, more than, even.

But ever since Arthur’s big epiphany on Wednesday, he’d started to think more.  He analyzed what he was doing, and got all flustered and embarrassed.

It was one of the things Merlin found very endearing about Arthur.  That and his pouting.

_Because you look cute when you pout_.

Merlin smiled and felt his cheeks heat up.  At least no one was around to see, as the hallway to his flat was empty.  He put his phone in his pocket while he unlocked his front door, and when he took it out again inside, he had another new message.

_Not that you don’t always look cute_.

All right, so sometimes it was a good thing that Arthur overthought what he said.  Merlin was never going to protest a compliment.

_You look cute when you pout, too.  The rest of the time you’re just handsome._

There, that was a good response.  It would definitely embarrass Arthur.  He’d have a hard time trying not to blush in his class.

_I don’t pout, Merlin_.

Merlin knew he would say that.  He went over to his bed, kicking off his shoes as he did, and lay on his back while he contemplated his answer.  It would be easy enough to keep going back and forth like this…

He started going through his photos on his phone.  He went past the ones of the flowers he’d taken for his mum, and landed on the one he’d managed of Arthur pouting.  It was from last Saturday, when they’d returned to the flat, and Gwaine and Percival hadn’t let them come in on account of nudity.  Arthur had tried to get his phone, but Merlin had managed to hold him off until they’d gotten inside the flat.

So he attached it to a message and sent it to Arthur.

_I have proof._

Merlin turned to look at Kilgarrah in his tank.  He expected that Arthur would take some time to reply, because he’d need to get over his embarrassment first.  Then his phone buzzed.

_DELETE THAT._

_I refuse._

_I’m coming over after my class and I’m going to make you delete it._

Ooh, that was a tricky one.  Merlin grinned.  He could reply with some kind of sex joke about exactly how Arthur could make him do it.  But no, that was better saved for later in their relationship.

Merlin was sure there was going to be a relationship.  They’d gone on three dates without either of them completely realizing it, so it was obvious they were compatible.  He’d eventually have to tell his mum about it.

Back to the text.  Right.  He could just keep teasing Arthur.  He did want him to come over after class, and teasing him like this was as good a way as any to get him here.

_I’d like to see you try_.

_Tell me, Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?_

And attached to that was a picture of Merlin from one of their project meetings last week.  Merlin had pulled an all-nighter the night before to finish an essay, and by the time he’d gotten through his classes for the day he’d been about to drop.  They’d gone to the dining hall to work.  Even the food hadn’t kept him awake, and he’d fallen asleep with his head on his mash.  Once he’d woken up, he saw that Arthur was still working on their project, and even doing some of what Merlin was supposed to do.  Apparently, Arthur had taken a picture of him while he was asleep.

It should be creepy, Merlin knew.  A man he knew for about a week had taken a picture of him sleeping.  But he could see why Arthur had taken this picture.  Merlin had obviously shifted while he was sleeping, because the side of his head was buried in his food and there was sauce and mash and a couple of peas clinging to his face.

Then he actually read the message, and Merlin’s eyes widened.  Could Arthur be implying…?  No, there was no way Arthur was talking about a blowjob.  He probably meant groveling or something, knowing Arthur.  Rich people did weird things sometimes.

Or maybe Arthur just meant that Merlin should surrender, and delete the picture of Arthur.  Merlin wouldn’t, of course, but he could always tell Arthur that he had.

He should just wing this answer.  Or answer honestly.  He’d never done _that_ , not even with Lance.  And he wasn’t going to give in, so his answer would always be

_No_.

_Would you like me to help you?_

Oh, so now Arthur wanted him to ask for forgiveness or something?  That was never going to happen.  He was sure he could hold out against anything Arthur tried to do to him.

_I wouldn’t if I were you._

_Why?  What are you going to do to me?_

_You have no idea_.

That was sufficiently mysterious.  Merlin hadn’t planned his next attack yet, but he was sure it would be great.  He could ask Gwaine for embarrassing stories from their first year.  Everyone had embarrassing stories from their first year; it was some sort of universal law.

_Be my guest_.

Merlin’s eyebrows shot up when he read the response.  He wondered if Arthur knew he was flirting, because that was definitely what he was doing.  It was too overt to be anything but flirting.

_All right, come over after your class_.

He wasn’t planning on doing anything, really.  He liked teasing Arthur, but if he took it too far it would just be cruel.  He’d hide his phone, maybe, so Arthur couldn’t delete the picture.  Force him to watch more James Bond.  There was a new chippy that opened a couple blocks away, so they could go there for some food.

He didn’t get a response from Arthur, but he knew that he was going to come over.  Arthur never planned anything for Friday nights.  He’d told Merlin that, when they were still trying to figure out times they could meet to work on the project.

He could read Arthur so well, and they’d only known each other for a couple weeks.  He wondered what they’d be like after a couple years.  He had no doubt they’d get that far.


	20. Arthur

Arthur was going to throw up.  He was really, actually going to throw up.

He and Merlin were going on a date.  A date.  Together.

They’d technically been on dates before, but Arthur hadn’t known those were dates until after so he hadn’t been nervous about them.  Well, not nervous while they were happening.  He got nervous after.

Gwaine had tried to get him to calm down, but it was easy for Gwaine.  He had this charm that he didn’t need to work at.  Arthur didn’t have that same ability.  He actually needed to work at getting people to like him.  At the beginning he hadn’t been able to even hold a conversation with Merlin.

Well. Except when they first met, before the whole argument.  For once, someone had actually seemed to like Arthur.

He’d been standing outside of Merlin’s building for almost ten minutes now.  It was all right, because he’d left a half hour of extra time just in case.  He didn’t want to be late if something went wrong, but now he had half an hour to kill.

Merlin was one of those people that rushed to get ready at the last minute, and he definitely wasn’t going to be ready to go if Arthur showed up early.

He looked at his watch.  Still 15 minutes to wait.  He could probably get away with showing up 5 minutes early.  So 10 minutes to wait.

He smoothed down his shirt and checked to make sure there wasn’t any hair or anything on it.  He’d worn the red polo shirt that Morgana had given him (grudgingly) for Christmas last year.  He’d been told it was a nice color on him, and he thought so as well.  Merlin seemed to like the jeans he was wearing, too.  He’d made a good choice.

He wondered what Merlin was going to be wearing.  He had that one spectacular blue shirt, but other than that, Arthur had only seen him wear ratty old t-shirts.  Maybe there was something Merlin was keeping for a special occasion?  And maybe he would wear it for their date.  Because it was a special occasion.

Arthur sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Right.  Keeping calm.  He could make it through this.  He didn’t need to work to make Merlin like him.  Merlin already liked him.  Merlin had agreed to go on a date with him, and had invited him over the night before.

Even after the whole embarrassing flirting-over-text thing, he’d managed to keep control of himself around Merlin.  Somehow.  But he’d managed.  He hadn’t gotten to delete that picture of him, but Merlin hadn’t deleted the picture of himself sleeping, so it was a fair trade.  Merlin didn’t seem as embarrassed about the picture of him, though.  Arthur thought it was a hilarious picture.  There were even some peas in his hair!

But they’d sat on Merlin’s bed again and watched _Quantum of Solace_.  Then they went to get some takeaway, and settled down to find something on telly.  He hadn’t made it back home until 2, and Gwaine had teased him about sleeping with Merlin before their date.

He’d almost punched Gwaine for that.  He was glad he didn’t, though.  Gwaine would have been even more insufferable.

He looked at his watch again.  It was 5 to 11, so he could press the buzzer.  Merlin had to be at least sort of ready.  He was rarely late, really; Merlin always made it just in time.  He had uncanny knack at being exactly on time, like he knew precisely how much time he needed to walk somewhere.

It took a few seconds for Arthur to be buzzed into the building.  Merlin was probably trying to find one of his shoes.  He’d had the same trouble last night, and had wound up wearing one sneaker and one loafer.  He’d gotten some weird looks on the street.

Merlin threw open the door to his flat just as Arthur stepped up to it.  Arthur’s eyes widened in surprise, but Merlin just smiled at him.  “Hey, Arthur!”

“Hi,” Arthur replied, eyes scanning Merlin.  He was right; Merlin was wearing one shoe.  And there was toothpaste around his mouth, which Arthur hadn’t wanted to find as adorable as he did.  Merlin was wearing a shirt Arthur hadn’t seen before.  It was a muted purple, and highlighted how pale Merlin was.  And he was still wearing his red neckerchief with it.

“You look nice,” Merlin commented, his eyes raking over Arthur.  He held back a blush and smiled at Merlin.

“So do you.  Is that a new shirt?”

Merlin plucked at the hem of it.  “Yeah, I needed some new trousers, and Mum gave me enough money for another shirt, too.  Kilgarrah told me before I went to get purple, and I had no idea what he meant, and then I found this shirt.”

Arthur chuckled and shook his head.  “You put so much faith in your pet.”

Merlin stepped away from the door, finally, and let Arthur inside.  “Of course I do, he’s my friend.”

Arthur looked over at Kilgarrah’s tank; the axolotl was swallowing a red minnow whole.  “Interesting friend.  Did you ever think of getting him a tank mate?”

“I asked him how he’d feel about it, and he said he’d eat anyone I put in his tank,” Merlin replied, digging through a pile of books and pulling out his other shoe.

“My domain must remain my own,” Kilgarrah told them once the minnow was out of his mouth.

“I own your tank,” Merlin told him.

“The true owner is the one who feels the most connection with his possessions.”

“Does he always talk like this?” Arthur asked, watching as Merlin tried to flatten his hair.

“Usually he talks more about destiny,” Merlin told him, grinning widely.  “Sometimes it’s about coins and fractions, too.”

“At least Gwaine is more interesting than that, even if I do have to listen to him and Percival.”

Merlin hummed agreement, finally noticed the toothpaste around his mouth, and started wiping it away.

“Have you figured out where we’re going yet?” Merlin asked, just as he had last night.  He still thought that Arthur was going to tell him, even though he said he wouldn’t.

“Of course.”

“So where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise, Merlin.”

“I don’t like surprises,” Merlin told him, turning to look at him.  Arthur shook his head and laughed, because he knew that was completely untrue.  Everything Merlin had told him centered around loving new experiences.  There was no reason to hate surprises.  Then Merlin grinned and shrugged, and Arthur knew he was right about it.

“You’ll find out soon,” Arthur replied, following Merlin back to the door of his flat.  “We’re on our way there now.”

“On our date,” Merlin replied, smiling brightly.  Arthur couldn’t help but smile back, despite the anxiety he could feel simmering just under his skin.  Merlin seemed to pick up on it, because he put his hand on Arthur’s shoulder and stopped him just before they got to the stairs.  “You don’t need to be nervous.  Let’s just have a good time.”

Arthur let the tension seep out of him, and nodded.  “Yeah.  I know you’ll love this place.”

Merlin let go and they started down the stairs.  “Yeah?  Why don’t you give me a hint about where we’re going?”

“I already gave you one.”

“What?”

“That you’ll like it.”

“That’s not a hint!  That’s a given!  You wouldn’t have chosen this place for a date if you didn’t think I’d like it!”

“All right, fine,” Arthur laughed.  He wasn’t at all surprised that Merlin felt so strongly about guessing games.  “How about… it’s a big place.”

“That could be lots of places,” Merlin replied, pouting a little bit.

“I’m not going to tell you just because you pout at me.”

Merlin shrugged.  “It was worth a try, at least.”

“And you do look cute when you pout, so I’m not mad you tried.”

Merlin smiled at him, blushing faintly.   “Can I have another clue?”

“No.”

Merlin rolled his eyes.  “Fine.  As long as I’ll like it, I guess it doesn’t matter.  How long will it take to get there?”

“It’s a 20 minute walk,” Arthur replied, figuring there was no harm in telling him that.

Suddenly, Merlin stopped on the sidewalk and looked at him.  “Are we going to the aquarium?”

Arthur froze and stared at him.  “How the bloody hell did you guess that from the distance?”

Merlin grinned and started walking again, content in knowing where they were headed.  Arthur followed him, a little sullen.  He’d wanted it to be a surprise for Merlin, and he could see Merlin light up when they got close enough for Merlin to figure out they were headed there.  He had been so excited for that happiness on Merlin’s face.

“When I moved here, I looked up how far away the aquarium was, so I could go there when I had a few free hours.  And its big, and you know I would like it.”

Arthur huffed.  “I shouldn’t have given you any hints.”

Merlin looked over at him again and smiled softly.  Arthur stubbornly did not smile back.  “Did you want it to be a surprise that badly?”

“Yes.”

“Next time, how about you blindfold me on the way to wherever we go?” Merlin offered, sounding completely sincere.  “That way I won’t even be able to guess.  It’ll be fun!”

Arthur finally smiled back.  “Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

“Good,” Merlin replied, and took Arthur’s hand in his.  For a second Arthur tensed up, then he relaxed, because this is Merlin.  Merlin, for whom holding hands was as simple as holding his hand.  Arthur squeezed his hand gently, then smiled wider when Merlin flushed a little.  “Now hurry up, I want to get to the aquarium faster!”

They did walk faster, and keep a conversation going the whole time.  Arthur even forgot that he was supposed to be nervous.  He guessed that was another special skill Merlin had.  He was so likable and kind, that he could make everyone happier just by being there.  Arthur was glad he could reap the benefits of this.

The closer they got to the aquarium, the more Merlin tugged on his hand to get him to speed up.  He tried telling Merlin that the aquarium would still be there when they got there, but he didn’t listen.  When they got to the last block, Merlin was nearly running, with Arthur getting pulled along behind him.

“We’re here, you can stop running,” Arthur told him as they passed through the front gates.

“But it’s the aquarium!”  Merlin exclaimed.  “I can’t calm down, I just want to see everything here.  There isn’t enough time…”

“We can come back another day if we don’t get to everything,” Arthur assured him, rubbing his thumb over the back of Merlin’s hand.  “We don’t have to rush through.”

Merlin turned to smile at him, and that was the look.  There was pure happiness shining in Merlin’s eyes, and there was a huge grin on his lips.  This was the look that Arthur had been aiming for.  He smiled back, and gently tugged Merlin towards to entrance by their clasped hands.

“Come on, what are you waiting for?”

Merlin laughed and let Arthur lead him inside.  “Where are we going first?”

“I thought we could start with the tunnel,” Arthur told him. “It’s like a tunnel through a huge tank, and there’s fish swimming all around you.  It’s absolutely beautiful.”

“That sounds great,” Merlin replied, and followed as Arthur started towards the left.

Once they reached the entrance to the tunnel, Arthur paused before stepping inside.  As soon as he did, he looked over at Merlin, savoring the look of wonder on his face.

“This is…” Merlin murmured, looking up as a manta ray swam over their heads.  “It’s magical.”

“They didn’t use magic to put this together,” Arthur corrected, “but it certainly does feel that way.”

Merlin took a step forward, and Arthur followed his pace.  They walked slowly to a bench in the middle of the walkway.  Merlin looked between all of the different creatures swimming around them; Arthur watched them as well, but somehow he always wound up looking at Merlin.

They sat down, their hands still together between them, and Merlin stared straight out at the school of silver fish swimming in a circle.  Arthur couldn’t tear his eyes off of Merlin’s expression.  He looked so at peace, with a small smile on his lips and his eyes glittering.

Quietly, he took his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture of Merlin’s profile.  He never wanted to forget that look on Merlin’s face, or what put it there.

Merlin didn’t even notice the picture.  He just kept watching the fish, and Arthur kept watching Merlin.


	21. Merlin

“All of the colors are so beautiful,” Merlin said quietly, not wanting to break the peace around them.

“They are,” Arthur replied, equally hushed.  “It’s the entire rainbow.”

Merlin sighed softly and rested his head on Arthur’s shoulder, still watching the tropical fish in the tank in front of them.  After sitting in the tunnel for a while, they’d continued walking until they found the tropical fish tanks.  They’d sat again, and stared at the different fish that swam past them.

Arthur hadn’t let go of his hand, Merlin thought, a little dazedly.  They hadn’t been disconnected once since he first dared to take Arthur’s hand.  He liked it.  He liked having Arthur touching him, and that little squeeze one of them would give once in a while.  Sure, both their hands were a little sweaty, but it didn’t matter.  Sweaty hands were not even close to enough to make Merlin let go of Arthur.

The fish were so beautiful, all just swirling colors in the water.  His eyes slid half-closed, staring at them still.  It was impossible to look away.  He didn’t even know how long they’d been here, but he never wanted to move.  He just wanted to stay surrounded by fish, with Arthur at his side, for eternity.

Then he stiffened slightly and his eyes widened.  He was on a date with Arthur, and they’d barely spoken since they’d come in here.  Merlin had been too interested in the fish to do more than hold his hand and lean against him.  Oh, he was a horrible date.  He forgot about things and it always ended up like this.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, trying to relax against Arthur again but not quite able to manage it.

“What for?” Arthur asked, rubbing his thumb over the back of Merlin’s hand.  That was nice, Merlin liked that.

“Being such a horrible date.”

“You’re not a horrible date,” Arthur told him, resting his head on top of Merlin’s.  “Why would you think that?  I’m having a great time, and I thought you were, too.”

“I am,” Merlin replied hurriedly.  “I love it here.  But I haven’t been paying any attention to you.  I’ve just been looking at the fish.”

“I don’t mind.  I like just sitting here with you watching them.”

“But on dates, you’re supposed to talk and get to know each other.  We’re not doing any of that.”

Arthur chuckled softly.  Merlin could feel his shoulders shaking a little bit with it.  “I think we’ve covered enough of the ‘getting to know you’ stage.  And… All right, I’m never going to repeat this and I will deny I said it if you tell anyone, but I like watching you watch the fish.  You look so happy and peaceful.  Just seeing you like that, and sitting with you like this, is more than enough.”

Merlin was silent for a few moments, his cheeks flaming red and his heart beating a little faster.  Did Arthur really feel that way?  He just liked seeing Merlin happy?  Well, he was the same way with Arthur, but…

“That’s a little creepy you know,” Merlin told him with a smile.  “I thought we talked about your staring.”

“See, this is why I didn’t tell you,” Arthur grumbled, but Merlin could tell there wasn’t any real anger behind it.  “I knew you’d just make fun of me.”

Merlin laughed and looked up at him without lifting his head from Arthur’s shoulder.  “That was the perfect opportunity, you can’t really blame me.  It is sweet, though.  For a prat.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, but he was smiling and there was a light blush on his cheeks.

“I’m sorry I ruined your surprise, too,” Merlin told him, settling against his side more comfortably.

“It’s all right.  I’ll deny saying this, too, but I wanted it to be a surprise so I could see how unbearably happy you’d be when you found out. But then when we got here, you still had that look I wanted on your face.”

“That’s…” Merlin started, and then wasn’t sure how to finish it.  Arthur had thought so much about this. He’d thought about how Merlin would _look_ when they saw different things.  It was… “Sweet.  Really, that’s amazing.”

“It’s not amazing,” Arthur muttered, glancing down at Merlin.  “I just brought you to an aquarium.”

“You pictured how I’d react,” Merlin reminded him.

“I don’t recall saying that.”

Merlin huffed out a laugh.  “You don’t need to deny it to me.  It’s amazing and you won’t convince me otherwise, so you might as well not try.”

Merlin heard Arthur’s phone buzz in his pocket.  Luckily, it was in the left side, so he didn’t have to let go of Merlin’s hand to take it out.  Merlin watched as Arthur checked what the message was, and then heard his quiet curse.

“What is it?” Merlin asked, lifting his head up.

“Gwaine texted me to ask if we were bringing food back for _Doctor Who_.”

“But that’s tonight,” Merlin replied, frowning a little.  “Why is he asking that now?”

“It’s quarter to 6,” Arthur said, standing up.  Merlin got up quickly as well.

“We’ve been here for six and a half hours?”  Merlin asked, astonished.  “It doesn’t feel like nearly that long!”

“I know!  I haven’t been checking my watch, but I thought we’d have plenty of time to get back,” Arthur said as they walked quickly towards the exit.

“Text Gwaine and tell him to call in an order from that Indian place by your flat, and we can pick it up on our way back.”

Arthur let go of Merlin’s hand, and Merlin cursed his own plan.  He could have texted Gwaine, so that they could still hold hands.  But then Arthur ducked around Merlin, so he could lace the fingers of his left hand with Merlin’s right.  Arthur must have felt the same about being separated, then, Merlin mused as he tugged Arthur into walking a little faster.

“Calm down, we’re going to make it back with time to spare,” Arthur told him.  “My flat is closer to the aquarium than yours.  It’s a minute or two shorter, and the Indian’s on this side of the block.”

“So your flat is closer to where we were going, but you still came to mine to get me?” Merlin asked.  It made sense, a little, in terms of Arthur’s personality.  He’d want to do this “right,” and that meant picking him up for the date.

“Of course I did.  You’d probably trip over something and break your neck on the way to mine, knowing your luck.”

Merlin could see right through him.  Arthur always tried to cover up his feelings with insults.  “I’m not _that_ clumsy, you know.  I’ve managed to walk to your flat without dying before.”

“And what a miracle it was.”

Merlin laughed and bumped Arthur with his shoulder.  “Oh, shove off.  I’m not the one that tripped in the dining hall and spilled milk down my shirt.”

“No, you tripped in the dining hall and spilled milk down _my_ shirt.”

Merlin thought for a moment, trying to remember how it happened.  He really only remembered the milk soaking into Arthur’s dusty blue polo shirt.  Actually, it made more sense if Merlin had been the one to trip.  Arthur had a lot of grace, and seemed more aware of where his body was in relation to everything around it than anyone else Merlin knew.  “Yeah, that was me that tripped.”

“See? You’re a menace to society.”

“Oi, I think menace is a little too far.  I haven’t hurt anyone besides myself.”

“I think my shirt would beg to differ.”

Merlin loved that they were sinking back into this bickering.  Sitting quietly together was nice and calming, and he’d love to do that again, but teasing Arthur and getting teased in turn made him feel more alive.  It was even better that there were no hard feelings at the end.  They both knew it was just lighthearted fun, and there was no danger of someone getting hurt feelings and lashing out.

They reached the restaurant just before 6, and the food was waiting for them there.  They took a bag each and brought it upstairs with 10 minutes to spare.

“I told you we’d make it back with plenty of time,” Arthur told Merlin as he opened the door.  He was looking back at Merlin instead of into the flat.  “We can get it all on plates and everything before the episode starts.”

Then he turned around and turned bright red when he saw Gwaine and Percival cuddled together, naked, under a throw blanket.

“What are you two doing?!” Arthur demanded, stomping into the living room.

“We’re cuddling,” Gwaine retorted, nuzzling against Percival’s broad chest.

“Yes, I can see that!  Why are you naked?!”

“Well, Princess, when two people love each other very much—”

“Put your clothes on before Doctor Who starts,” Arthur ordered, shifting so he was standing between them and Merlin.  Merlin guessed it was to block him from seeing them naked.  “I’m not sitting next to you two while you’re naked, and neither is Merlin!”

Gwaine rolled his eyes, but Percival coaxed him to his feet.  They retreated down the hall to Gwaine’s bedroom; Arthur kept himself between them and Merlin.

Merlin, graciously, didn’t mention that.  “Come on, let’s put this on plates so it’s all ready when they come back out.”

Arthur nodded, still looking disgruntled.  Merlin chuckled and rubbed his thumb over Arthur’s knuckles, like Arthur had been doing to him.  “Calm down.  Who knows, maybe they’ll wind up walking in on us one day.”

That made Arthur blush even harder and make a choking sound, and Merlin was sure it hadn’t solved anything.  He didn’t really care.  Arthur’s reaction was worth it.


	22. Arthur

Sitting with his arm around Merlin was just as comfortable as Arthur thought it would be.  He would have tried it while they were at the aquarium, but he hadn’t wanted to let go of Merlin’s hand.  He almost wished he had, just so he’d be able to enjoy it for longer.

Merlin was curled up against him, his feet tucked under him and his head resting on Arthur’s chest.  During the commercial breaks, he’d kept poking at Arthur’s stomach until Arthur would smack his hand away.  It was nice.  Comfortable.  It felt like they’d been doing this for ages, when it was only the second time Merlin had been over for _Doctor Who_.

“You have pudge,” Merlin told him cheekily when the credits started to roll, poking again at Arthur’s stomach.

“I have abs,” he corrected.  “No pudge.”

“You have abs and pudge,” Merlin conceded, nuzzling against Arthur like a cat.  Arthur hated cuddling.  Unless the other cuddlee was Merlin, apparently.  It was nice having Merlin pressed against him like this, holding him close, feeling his heartbeat against his side.  It was also a little bit too warm, but they were under a blanket, so that made sense.

“I don’t have pudge.”

“I like your pudge,” Merlin said with a little laugh.  “It proves you’re human.  Otherwise you’d just look like a Greek god or something.”

“You need some pudge,” Arthur replied, trying to shift the conversation away from his stomach.  “You’re all skin and bones.”

“My mum’s been trying to feed me up for years and it hasn’t work,” Merlin told him with a small shrug.  “You’re welcome to try, though.  You promised me cooking lessons.”

“You’re right, I did.  We could probably do that next weekend, if you’re not busy.”

“Don’t think I am.  There hasn’t been anything assigned for class so far, but I can let you know on Wednesday, probably.”

“All right, just don’t forget.”  That was a legitimate concern.  Merlin had almost forgotten twice about meetings for their project.  It became less annoying and more endearing as time went on.

Arthur thought he was going to call that the Merlin Effect.  Things that he should hate become things he didn’t mind or even liked because Merlin was associated with them.  Things like cuddling, and people being late, and people forgetting about appointments.  If it was Merlin doing it, it just didn’t seem as bad.

Sometimes Arthur wondered if Merlin knew about the sway he had over people.  Probably not.  Merlin was a little oblivious, most of the time.

“And you said Percival and I were disgusting,” Gwaine declared.  Percival nodded, in agreement about his point and his grammar.  “You are literally the most tooth-achingly sweet couple.”

“Literally?” Percival asked him, frowning a little.  Gwaine rolled his eyes.

“All right, not literally.  But the point still stands!”

“We’re not even doing anything,” Arthur complained.  “We’re just sitting here talking!”

“While Merlin’s snuggled against you as if you’re what’s keeping him alive, and you’re almost to the point of finishing each other’s sentences.   And you’ve known each other, what, two, three weeks?”

“You’ve only known each other three weeks?” Percival asked, clearly astonished.

“Yes,” Arthur ground out.  He didn’t mind how quickly he and Merlin had gotten together like this, but he didn’t like having it pointed out.  It made it sound like their relationship didn’t mean much, just because it was still in the early stages.  There’s no time requirement for emotions, or commitment, or anything else that should be present in a good relationship.

“It has only been three weeks,” Merlin mused, looking up at Arthur with a small smile.  “And to think I hated you at the beginning.”

“Not at the very beginning,” Arthur corrected him.  “I was about to ask for your phone number before I saw your axolotl.”

“He thought I was mistreating Kilgarrah,” Merlin explained to Gwaine.  “He was alone in his tank, and that’s because Kilgarrah told me in no uncertain terms he’d kill anything else in there.”

“What a lovely pet,” Gwaine remarked dryly.

“We met when Arthur helped me carry my feeder fish to my flat.”

“Wait,” Gwaine interrupted, “You helped someone you didn’t know carry fish, but I ask you to get me a glass of water when you’re already in the kitchen and you say no?”

“Exactly,” Arthur answered.  “The difference is that Merlin is an attractive man I wanted to ask on a date, and you’re my flat-mate that I’ve seen naked way too many times.”

“Half of those could have been avoided if you’d just gotten me the water.”

“Anyway,” Merlin broke in with, raising an eyebrow at Arthur.  “He freaked out, we shouted at each other, and he stormed away.  Then we got stuck together for this Marine Invertebrates project.”

“And the rest is history,” Arthur finished, pulling Merlin closer to him.  Percival smiled at the both of them, obviously having enjoyed the story.

“That’s a nice story,” he remarked, confirming Arthur’s observation.  “That’s the kind of story people are going to ask to hear.  You should probably write it down, or something.”

“Hey, you never said we had a great story,” Gwaine said with a pout.

Percival chuckled.  “That’s because we don’t.  You got me down to my pants in strip mariokart and said I could kiss you instead of taking them off.”

“But what about how we met?”

“You pulled my trousers down on the pitch because you thought it would be funny.”

Arthur could feel Merlin shaking against him, and he looked down.  Merlin had a hand pressed over his mouth, trying to hold his laughter in.  It was a funny story, but Arthur had heard it more than enough times. He’d been there for their first meeting, after all, and sort of there for when they got together.

“You can laugh,” Arthur said in his ear.  “They won’t mind.  They both think it’s hilarious.”

With the okay, Merlin started laughing wildly.  Arthur could see tears in his eyes, and he looked like he was going to wet himself. Gwaine and Percival were both grinning, obviously pleased they’d managed to entertain Merlin so much.

Arthur rubbed Merlin’s side gently, waiting for him to calm down.

“You do have a great story,” Merlin told them once he’d gotten himself partially under control.  “It’s just different from ours.  Yours is absolutely hilarious, and that’s part of who you guys are.  Me and Arthur fight a lot and understand each other really well, so that’s what our story is about.  We just couldn’t be apart.”

With that, he looked up at Arthur, and didn’t look away as he said, “There’s lots of different ways to be great.  Like how Arthur’s great at maths and I’m really good at getting people to like me.”

“You are good at that,” Arthur replied, staring at Merlin.  He looked like a bumbling idiot most of the time, but every so often, he’d have some great bit of wisdom to share with the world.  “If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you’re a little bit wise.”

“I’m like a swan,” Merlin declared.  “It looks like there’s nothing going on, but I’m working hard where you can’t see.”

“That is literally the worst analogy I have ever heard,” Gwaine commented.  Percival nudged him; Gwaine rolled his eyes.  “All right, that’s figuratively the worst analogy I’ve ever heard.”  Percival huffed, so Gwaine leaned up and pecked him on the lips.  “You know I do it just to tease you.”

“I know you do,” Percival replied, not letting Gwaine move away from the kiss.  “That’s why I keep correcting you.”

Arthur cleared his throat before they could get any further.  Sometimes Gwaine and Percival forgot there were other people in the room, and Arthur was too comfortable to bother leaving them in peace.

“Sorry,” Percival said with a sheepish smile, shifting Gwaine in his lap a little.

“Anyway,” Gwaine said, acting as if nothing had happened.  “I knew you two were going to get together.”

“You talked about me with him?” Merlin asked Arthur, eyebrows going up.

“You came up in conversation,” Arthur replied, shooting a glare at Gwaine.  He really didn’t want Merlin to know that he and Gwaine played strip Mario kart.  Merlin wouldn’t be jealous or anything, it just made Arthur uncomfortable.             

Gwaine got the hint.  “I told him I was inviting Percy over, and he said he was bringing you over.  I could tell by the way he talked about you that he fancied you.”

“That early?” Merlin asked, smiling a little.  “Two weeks ago, and Gwaine knew you fancied me. I didn’t even know I fancied you then.”

“You didn’t know you fancied him?” Percival echoed, trying to make sense of it.

Merlin nodded.  “It was one of those things that I didn’t want to admit, you know?  Because he was such a prat to me, I really didn’t want to decide I fancied him, so I just ignored it.  And then I couldn’t ignore it anymore, once we started spending more time together.”

“You knew I was interested from the beginning,” Arthur muttered, not intending for Gwaine and Percival to hear.  Merlin chuckled, which was the response he’d wanted.

But then Gwaine perked up, and he knew that he’d heard.

“How did Merlin know you were interested?”

“He stared at me in lecture,” Merlin told Gwaine, fighting back a smile.  “I called him out on it and he apologized—”

“Again, you’ll apologize to an attractive bloke but not your flat-mate?”

“—And then we got paired on the project,” Merlin finished, pretending Gwaine hadn’t said anything.  But he definitely heard, because he added, “He’s really sweet.  He holds doors open and helps carry things.”

Gwaine gave Arthur the stinkeye.  Arthur was unrepentant.  Maybe if he’d been aiming to woo Gwaine he would have been afforded the same courtesies.  Or maybe it was just the Merlin Effect.

Percival managed to pacify Gwaine by murmuring something in his ear.  The conversation continued, thankfully without a fight.

Then, what felt like an hour later, Arthur checked his watch and saw that it was just about 2 in the morning.

“Wow,” he said to himself, wondering where all the time had gone.  Merlin turned a little to look at him.

“What?”  He asked, obviously a little concerned.

“It’s going on two,” Arthur replied, smiling a little.  Merlin’s eyes widened.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!  It feels like its 8 or so,” Merlin said.  Arthur nodded in agreement.  “I should probably go home.”

“I’ll walk you,” Arthur immediately offered, taking his arm off of Merlin’s shoulders and standing up, once Merlin had stopped leaning on him.

Merlin grinned up at him.  “You’re going all out on this date, aren’t you?”

“I’m doing it right this time,” Arthur responded, holding his hand out to Merlin.  “Come on, we don’t want it to get even later.”

Merlin unfolded himself from the couch and took Arthur’s hand, then looked over at Gwaine and Percival.  “It was nice to see the two of you,” he said with a grin.  “Next Saturday, right?”

“Of course,” Gwaine confirmed, with a nod from Percival.  “Percy and I can get the food next time.”

Merlin grinned wider.  “Great!  I’ll probably see you before then, so see you later!”

Arthur finally managed to pull him to the door and out into the corridor.

“I like spending time with them,” Merlin remarked as they went down the stairs hand-in-hand.  “They’re very funny.”

“Yeah, they are,” Arthur replied.  “That’s why Gwaine and I are flat-mates.  We balance each other out.  He’s a little more free-spirited, and I help ground him.”

“You’re plenty free-spirited,” Merlin told him, squeezing his hand.

Arthur smiled, thankful for the reassurance.  “Not compared to Gwaine.  He’d calmed down this year, but last year, he was a loose cannon.  He’d go out drinking every weekend, and some weekdays, too.  He showed up to a match completely sloshed, once.  It was horrible.”  He thought for a moment.  “Actually, I think that was the time he pulled down Percival’s pants.”

“I’m surprised Percival didn’t kill him for that.  He’s certainly big enough to manage it.”

“Percival’s a real gentle giant.  He’s studying veterinary science, you know.”

“I didn’t know that,” Merlin replied.  He thought for a moment, and Arthur used the time to stare at Merlin again.  The streetlamps really did help highlight his cheekbones.  “It makes sense, though.  He seems like a very kind person.”

“There’s no one kinder,” Arthur told him.  “Literally.”

Merlin chuckled and stopped, right in front of his building.  Arthur blinked and looked up.  When had they gotten there?  It didn’t feel like the 5 minute walk he knew it was.  He knew that was at least partially because he could never get enough of spending time with Merlin.

“You know,” Merlin started, trying to sound conversational.  His anxiety showed in the way he used his free hand to play with the hem of his shirt.  “This is technically our fifth date.”

“It is,” Arthur confirmed, not completely sure where Merlin was going with this.

“So I think we’re a bit overdue for our first kiss.”

Arthur’s eyes widened.  It was true, though.  Most couples kissed within the first few dates.  They hadn’t even held hands before their fifth.  For a couple moving fast, they were moving awfully slowly.

“I think you’re right,” Arthur replied, taking a step closer to Merlin.  They were almost exactly the same height, so he didn’t need to lean down to press his lips to Merlin’s.

Arthur would say he saw stars and time stopped, except neither of those things happened.  He did feel a rush of warmth, spreading out to his fingers and toes and the top of his head.  He did taste the faint spices from Merlin’s chicken korma on his lips.  He could feel Merlin clenching his hand tighter, and he tightened his hold in response.

And then they both pulled back, so perfectly in sync.

“Goodnight,” Arthur said quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace of the moment.

“Good night,” Merlin replied, kissed Arthur one more time, then turned and went inside his building.

Arthur stayed where he was for a minute, reliving the sensation of their first kiss.  He could already feel the ache of Merlin being gone, and he had only just left.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to go home.

When their lips had touched for the second time, Arthur had known that there was no physical way for him to get enough of Merlin.  If they spent every day for the rest of their lives together, it still wouldn’t be enough.  And if that was thinking too far in advance for their fifth date, he didn’t care.  The Merlin Effect worked in mysterious ways.


	23. Merlin

Merlin felt like his life should be completely different now that he and Arthur were actually dating.  That one detail had changed, and so many things had followed.  He had a boyfriend now.  They’d had one official date, and four others, and they were all fantastic.  They knew each other’s coffee orders and favorite foods.  They’d _kissed_.

But everything else was still the same.  Merlin still had classes, and they still had their project to do, and _Doctor Who_ was still on Saturday nights. 

Merlin’s life was different, now. But no one else seemed to realize it.

What if he just went up to his maths professor and said he couldn’t do the homework because he just got a boyfriend and he couldn’t focus on the problems?

Gaius might allow it, considering he’d been the one to push Arthur and Merlin together.  He should really talk to him again sometime, maybe ask for some sources for the project.  He and Arthur were doing fine, but they could use all the help they could get.

Merlin took out his phone and checked to see if Arthur had texted him.  They had planned on meeting for lunch in the dining hall after Arthur’s meeting with his professor.  He hadn’t been sure how long the meeting would take, so Merlin said he would wait by the statue in the middle of the quad.

Of course, the one time Merlin was early was the one time that Arthur was late.  Looked like they were rubbing off on each other.  Not in the sex way.  The figurative way.

He couldn’t even think about it without getting flustered.  He blamed it entirely on how attractive Arthur was.  He wouldn’t have as much trouble with it if Arthur was just a little less good looking.

But Arthur was late.  Merlin didn’t want to be that needy boyfriend, but he sent him a text anyway.

_Meeting over yet?_

Merlin smiled when he got a reply almost immediately.  Ever since Saturday, Arthur had been replying to his messages quickly.  It’s been two days, and Merlin didn’t think he was going to be slowing down.

 _On my way_.

Merlin smiled.  He knew he probably looked a little crazy, sitting by himself smiling like this, but he didn’t care.  If the people who were giving him strange looks had never known what this felt like, then he only pitied them.  He felt even better now than he had Saturday night, because he was sure now that it wasn’t a dream.

Kilgarrah had been especially smug when Merlin told him about it on Sunday.

He looked up, as if he was drawn by magic, and saw Arthur striding towards him.  He jumped up from where he had been sitting on the base of the statue and started towards Arthur.

“Hey,” he called, meeting Arthur halfway down the path and taking his hand.  He could feel tension draining out of Arthur immediately, and used a little bit of magic to help out.  He did that frequently, to make Arthur comfortable, but it didn’t do any harm.  Maybe he’d try giving Arthur a massage someday.

“Hi,” Arthur replied, with a small, intimate smile.  Merlin grinned back.

“I think they have bangers and mash today,” Merlin told him, starting to lead Arthur over to the dining hall.

“How would you know that?” Arthur asked, allowing himself to be led.

Merlin hesitated.  He couldn’t exactly tell Arthur that he’d gotten bored and used magic to see what was inside the dining hall.  “I heard some people talking,” he settled on.  Arthur nodded, accepting his answer.  Good.

“How was your meeting?”  Merlin asked, genuinely interested, and also trying to steer away from anything connected to his magic.

“It was fine, my professor just wanted to talk to me about the guest speaker we have coming in soon.”

“Why is she talking to you about it?”

Arthur shrugged.  “It’s a special guest, and I’m supposed to be his guide.”

Because their skin was touching, Merlin could sense Arthur’s surface emotions.  He got a sense of guilt, but he wasn’t sure why.  There must be something from the meeting that Arthur wasn’t telling him.  It didn’t matter.  Arthur had the right to keep some things from Merlin, just like Merlin kept things from Arthur.  Turnabout was fair play.

“It sounds like it’ll be fun,” Merlin replied as they went into the dining hall.  Arthur shrugged again.

“It shouldn’t be too bad,” he muttered.  Merlin wanted to ask why Arthur seemed upset about meeting someone who was, presumably, important in the business world, but Arthur walked off before he could.  Merlin huffed and headed over to the salad selection on the other side of the hall.

Sometimes Arthur didn’t make sense.  He’d leave his dishes in the sink, and Merlin had seen mold growing on the inside of his and Gwaine’s fridge (which, admittedly, was at least half Gwaine’s fault), but his room was cleaner than should be possible.  His bed was always made and there were never any clothes or clutter or dust _anywhere_.  Why was he messy everywhere but his own room?

And then there were Arthur’s random bursts of anger.  Merlin noticed it when they first met, and Arthur yelled at him about Kilgarrah being alone.  It was always linked to some sort of argument.  Not with Merlin; they didn’t argue at all, unless it was a joke and they were both laughing.  Gwaine and Arthur argued, just a little too quiet for Merlin to hear, until Arthur would yell something vague about making his own decisions.

Merlin shook his head and chose a Caesar salad.  Arthur didn’t need Merlin bugging him about his life.  It would only cause an argument.  Arthur was an adult, and older than Merlin.  If Merlin could take care of himself (for the most part) then Arthur could, too.

It didn’t matter that Merlin knew almost nothing about Arthur’s life from before he came to Albion.  He knew he grew up in Camelot, but that was it.  Nothing about his family, or any pets.  He’d seen the empty tank in Arthur’s room, but Arthur hadn’t talked about having a pet or wanting a pet or anything.

It didn’t matter.  Merlin knew enough about who Arthur was without knowing about his childhood.  He knew Arthur better than anyone else at their school, and that was enough.  More than enough.  Just having Arthur was more than enough.

He saw Arthur waiting by an empty table with a tray full of spaghetti and broke into a grin as he hurried towards him.  Arthur had gotten two brownies, and one was sitting on a napkin in front of the seat across from Arthur, waiting for Merlin.

He plopped into the seat across from Arthur, and Arthur looked up at him and smiled brightly.

“Salad again?” Arthur asked, twirling his spaghetti around his fork and bringing it up to his mouth.  Merlin chuckled and stabbed through a piece of lettuce.

“I have salad every time we have lunch,” Merlin replied.  “And you know that.  I could ask ‘pasta again?’” he said it in a bad impression of Arthur’s posh accent.

Arthur swallowed his bite of food just in time to burst out laughing without spitting his food all over Merlin’s face.  Merlin smiled in satisfaction as Arthur’s face turned red from laughing too hard.

“I don’t sound like that!” Arthur managed to protest, his voice an octave higher than it normally was.

“You _do_ sound like that,” Merlin retorted, taking a bite of his salad.  Arthur just reached across the table and took Merlin’s free hand, as if they did this every day.  Merlin smiled at Arthur, and the anxiety Merlin could feel radiating off of him melted away.

“I still have that picture of you from the aquarium,” Arthur said out of the blue, when they were about half-way through lunch.

“The picture you sneaked while I was looking at the fish?” Merlin replied, raising an eyebrow.  Arthur took out his phone and opened the picture on it, then held it up for Merlin to see.

It wasn’t what Merlin had expected.  He thought it would look ridiculous, and Arthur would use it to embarrass him.  But it wasn’t embarrassing.  The lighting in the aquarium bounced off the glass and made everything around Merlin glow blue.  It made his eyes look even brighter.  And he was smiling… he didn’t remember smiling like that.  He had the same smile that his mum had when she remembered his dad.

“You don’t have to delete it,” Merlin replied, blushing bright red.  Arthur smiled and put his phone back in his pocket.

“I knew you would say that when you saw it,” Arthur told him smugly.  Merlin rolled his eyes and leaned across the table to kiss him quickly.

“Stop being so smug and eat your lunch.  We still have to work on the project today,” he said, trying to sound more irritated and less fond.  It didn’t work.  It never did against Arthur.


	24. Arthur

Arthur was never going to live this down.  He was late to work on their project, after being late to lunch last week, and he was always the one hounding Merlin for being late.  Merlin took every opportunity to tease Arthur, and this would definitely not be passed over.

When he rounded the corner to their favorite table in the library, Arthur could see the smirk twisting Merlin’s lips.  He wanted to groan, and not just because of the days of teasing about to begin.  Merlin’s lips were fantasy-inducing without any smiles or smirks, but that little quirk to one side of his mouth…

Arthur was sure he’d dreamed about that look last night.  He wished they’d decided to study at one of their flats so he could kiss Merlin until his lips were red and swollen (which was _another_ fantastic look).

“You’re 12 and a half minutes late,” Merlin whispered to him when Arthur sat next to him.

Arthur sighed melodramatically and put his bag on the ground next to his chair, then kissed Merlin quickly.  “You were an hour late once,” he complained half-heartedly.

“But I was never twelve and a half minutes late,” Merlin replied.  Arthur just shook his head and took out his notebook and pen.  Merlin’s laptop was already sitting on the table, with their presentation open and some of their new research on a slide.

Arthur slid closer to Merlin to get a better look, comparing the numbers on the screen to the equations in his notebook.

“You missed a 0 there,” Arthur told him, pointing at the wrong number.  Merlin sighed softly and fixed it.

“I didn’t get to this until midnight,” Merlin replied, covering a yawn with his hand.  “I had a lot to do for maths, and an essay for that history class.  Is that the only one that’s wrong?”

Arthur took Merlin’s hand and squeezed it gently.  “We can do this later, after you’ve had a chance for a nap.”

Merlin shook his head, but flopped his head down onto Arthur’s shoulder.  He chuckled quietly and kissed Merlin’s forehead.  Merlin immediately tipped his head up to kiss Arthur on the lips.

“Are you sure you don’t want a nap?”

“I’m sure,” Merlin replied, picking his head up again.  “I have a meeting later, so I wouldn’t be able to work on it then, and I know you have that study group at 8.”

“I didn’t know you have meetings today,” Arthur replied, tugging the computer closer to change a few of the numbers on the next slide.

“I joined a conservation activism group,” Merlin told him, a small smile on his lips.  “They do protests and information seminars and letter writing campaigns.  It seems like a good cause, and I can put my knowledge to use.”

Arthur nodded.  “It does sound like a good cause,” he said, smiling back at Merlin.  Even if he was able to join the group, though, his father would never stand for it.  A Pendragon could never be seen going against the company’s ideals.  It would be too much of an opportunity for their competitors to tear them down.

“You should come to the meeting,” Merlin told him, then covered another yawn.  “I think you’d be interested in it, too.”

“My study group is usually at 6 instead of 8,” Arthur replied quickly.  Immediately after he’d said it, he wished he’d started off with saying it sounded interesting. It sounded weird, to just come up with an excuse like that.  Merlin would be suspicious.

But apparently Merlin was too tired to be suspicious.  “That’s too bad,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up more.

“Yeah, it is,” Arthur replied, smiling nervously.  Merlin looked at him for a moment, a little confusion on his face, before he turned back to his laptop.

“We should really keep working on this.  We only have three and a half weeks, and there’s that progress meeting with Gaius on Friday,” Merlin said, then smothered another yawn.

Arthur studied for a Merlin, taking note of the dark circles under his eyes and the twitching of his fingers, which always signaled a caffeine overload in Merlin.

“Email the presentation to me and go take a nap,” Arthur told him, closing the lid of the laptop and barely missing Merlin’s fingers.

“What?”

“You’re dead on your feet,” Arthur replied, letting just a little bit of the worry he felt bleed into his voice.  Merlin always gave in easier when he could see Arthur was worried.  “I can work on the presentation tonight, before and after my study group, and you’ll be rested enough for your classes tomorrow.”

Merlin hesitated for a moment, then smiled and kissed Arthur hard.  “Thank you,” he said quietly, pulling back to slip his laptop in his bag.  “I really do need to get some sleep.”

Arthur packed his bag up as well; there was no point staying in the library if Merlin wasn’t going to be with him.  “You got a lot of work done last night, so I think you can take a night off,” he replied, shouldering his bag and then going to pick up Merlin’s.

Merlin batted him away with a scowl.  “I’m tired, not an invalid,” he told Arthur, slinging his bag over his shoulder and leading the way through the library stacks.  “I can carry my bag just fine.”

Arthur managed to catch up to him and took his hand, not letting Merlin’s annoyance dissuade him.  Merlin could get annoyed at anything if he set his mind to it; it was really more endearing than anything.

“Do you have any books I can carry, then?  I have to live up to my ‘Prince Charming’ appearance,” Arthur replied lightly, knowing that making fun of himself was a good way to get a smile out of Merlin.  He never let it get too close to home, to his childhood, or to any of the insecurities his father had instilled with him.  Poking fun at his appearance was safe ground.

Sure enough, Merlin snorted and shook his head, but he was smiling.  “I can take one out from the library if you want,” Merlin said.  “I’d hate to ruin your public persona.”

“Are you saying my private persona _isn’t_ Prince Charming?”

“I’m saying your private persona is none of their business,” Merlin told him, kissing him quickly.  “It’s mine.”

Arthur smiled, about to say something nearly as sappy, but Merlin continued speaking.

“And no, you aren’t Prince Charming.  More like his younger brother, Prince… Clotpole.”

Arthur laughed and put his arm around Merlin’s waist, bumping their hips together.  “I should have guessed you’d say that.”

Merlin turned a bright smile on him, despite the exhaustion still hanging around him, and Arthur knew right then that he was in love.

They were young, sure, and their relationship was relatively new.  But there couldn’t be a different word for what he was feeling, not when the perfect descriptor already existed.

So Arthur smiled back, despite the insult, and continued bantering with Merlin, and behind every word that left his mouth all he could think was _love love love_.


	25. Merlin

Merlin stepped out of the shower, making sure to put his foot on the towel he’d laid down and not the tile.  He’d almost cracked his head open last week, slipping getting out of the bath; he was sure he’d actually break his skull if he tempted fate again.

He had to dry his hair next, to keep it out of his eyes.  His flat was messy enough that he needed to be able to see in order to get around it.  Stubbed toes were the work of Satan, and Merlin wanted to avoid those if he could.

He slipped on the worn-out grey pants he’d left sitting on the toilet cover next.  Being naked in front of Kilgarrah was as awkward as being in front of any other pet, but more so because he could talk.  And comment on his appearance.  And tell him to put some clothes on.

But Arthur had had to do something tonight, and Merlin didn’t.  He’d finished all the work he had already, and showering was the last thing he thought of that he needed to do.  He’d even considered cleaning the toilet to pass some time, and he _hated_ cleaning the toilet.

“I need something to do,” Merlin groaned, flopping back onto his bed.  “Kilgarrah, give me something to do.”

Kilgarrah remained silent.  Merlin heaved out a sigh and stared at the ceiling.  Of course Kilgarrah would keep his mouth shut when Merlin actually invited him to say something.  He only had something to say when Merlin didn’t need it.

He flicked his fingers at the telly, tuning it to _Doctor Who_ reruns. He tugged the comforter around his shoulders, and imagined Arthur was snuggled up next to him.

As much as Arthur maintained that he hated cuddling, Merlin always managed to snuggle close enough that Arthur _had_ to put an arm around him.  Arthur was a great cuddler because he had those great muscles, but he still had a little bit of chub, which Merlin thought was adorable.  He was perfect.

But when he finally turned his attention to the episode, he groaned.  It was the 2005 Christmas special.  Sure, he loved seeing David Tennant defeating the Sycorax in his pajamas, but it was his mum’s favorite episode, and he’d seen it more times than he could count.  So he flicked through the channels with his magic, glad to get the chance to exercise it.

He didn’t like keeping his magic chained up all the time.  He was used to using it for all the little things around the house, just to keep it agile and at his fingertips.  But spending so much time with Arthur had limited the amount of practice he could get in with his magic.

He sighed again.  He could try getting some more practice in now.  His mum had sent that book she’d found about air-based magic, and he could try some of the spells in there.  He’d always connected more with earth-based spells, and last time he’d tried a wind spell, he’d made a tornado in his backyard on accident.  It was supposed to be a small gust of wind to blow against some wind chimes, but it had gotten out of his control.  He’d been able to sprout a single flower from half a mile away, but he couldn’t even conjure a breath of wind without nearly destroying his house.

On second thought, a tornado in his flat didn’t sound like a good idea.  He should wait to try those spells until he was home for Christmas, or another time when he found himself in a large field in the middle of nowhere.

He could always try cooking, but he wasn’t up to putting out a fire.  Arthur still hadn’t taught him how to do anything but boil pasta, and that had nearly gone pear-shaped even with Arthur there.

There was really only one thing left to do.  Arthur had said he couldn’t text while he was at this meeting or whatever it was, and Will and Lance both worked Wednesdays at the grocery back home.

So he put a towel over Kilgarrah’s tank, just in case, and pulled his pants down to his knees.  He was a teenaged boy, so even thinking about sex made his cock show interest.  Especially when he was thinking about sex with Arthur.

So he closed his eyes, leaned back on his pillow, and wrapped his hand around his cock.  He stroked slowly and gently at first, just getting things warmed up.  After a couple strokes, when the drag of skin-on-skin was a little too rough, he grabbed the lube from under his pillow and slicked up his hand.  He set about it a little faster, now that he wouldn’t get any chafing.

But without Arthur there, no matter how good it felt, he didn’t really get close to orgasm.  He even slicked the fingers of his other hand and skated them along his entrance, because he knew people said that felt good.

He tried imagining Arthur was there.  They’d talked, before, if it might be a good idea for one of them to get himself off while the other watched, to get the anxiety of seeing each other naked out of the way.  As soon as he pictured Arthur sitting in his desk chair, his blue eyes dark and cock forming a bulge in his jeans as he watched Merlin, his cock twitched.  Just one little spark of the imagination made him feel infinitely closer to coming.

He shimmied out of his pants and spread his legs a little, making sure he was giving the best view to his desk chair.  No, Arthur.  Arthur was sitting there.  Arthur was watching him.  He groaned softly and pressed a finger a little in, just the tip, to know what it felt like.

Without consciously thinking about it, the image in his mind changed.  Now Arthur was kneeling above him, his finger pressing into Merlin and his other hand around Merlin’s cock.

He came immediately.  His back arched off the bed and he cried out, come spurting from his cock onto his stomach.  Once he regained control of his body, after a few minutes of floating in bliss, he waved his fingers to clean himself off.  That had been the first spell he’d tried to master after he discovered the glory of masturbation.

“Are you finished, young Warlock?” Kilgarrah asked, from under the towel on his tank.  Merlin rolled his eyes, the last dregs of his euphoria slipping away.  He put his pants back on and took the towel off, letting Kilgarrah glare at him.

“What do you want?” Merlin asked, lying on his side and watching Kilgarrah.

“Everything is not as it seems,” Kilgarrah told him, then made a circuit of his tank.  When he was facing Merlin again, he said, “An omission is not a lie, but it is not a truth.  It is an absence, and absences are felt more strongly than any presence.”

“I think you’re finally going senile,” Merlin replied, pulling the comforter around himself again.  “That’s ridiculously opaque, even for you.”

“Trust in my words, young Warlock,” Kilgarrah warned him, then started to make slow, silent circuits of his tank.  Merlin watched him for a moment, entranced by the pattern.

His phone buzzed.  He looked at the screen; it was from Arthur.

_Managed to sneak away to the bathroom.  How’s your evening going?_

Merlin grinned, and typed his reply quickly, hoping Arthur would get to see it before he had to leave the bathroom.

_Couldn’t figure out anything to do, wound up jerking off.  Thought of you._

Immediately after he sent the text, Merlin wondered if it was the right decision.  Was it too soon to say something like that?  Was it weird because it was through text instead of in person?

But Arthur replied almost immediately.

 _As soon as I can leave, I’m coming over.  You better be able to get it up again_.  _Won’t be able to text again until I’m on my way_.

Merlin grinned and tucked his face into his pillow.  Arthur always knew the right thing to say when Merlin was second-guessing himself.

He snuggled under his comforter and put his phone right in front of his face.  He was feeling sleepy, now.  He could take a nap, to build up his energy for when Arthur came over.  And he’d know as soon as Arthur texted him.

He closed his eyes, and hoped that he could fall asleep quickly, so Arthur would be there faster.


	26. Arthur

“Why is Gaius half an hour late,” Merlin groaned, thumping his head on the wall behind him.  Arthur really wanted to cross his arms across his chest, but that would mean letting go of Merlin’s hand, so he settled for rolling his eyes.

“Like you have any reason to complain,” he scoffed.  “Remember when I waited in the library for you for two hours because you’d forgotten we had a meeting and had decided to take a nap?”

“That’s different!”

“How?!”

Merlin pursed his lips, obviously trying to think of some reason for why he’d needed to take a nap then.  Arthur raised an eyebrow, waiting for the answer.  Merlin was horrible at thinking of excuses, and whatever he came up with was sure to be ridiculous and hilarious.

“Because Kilgarrah told me to.

Arthur laughed loudly, tears gathering in his eyes.  “Your axolotl told you to take a nap?”  He laughed harder, his head falling back and smacking into the wall.  Despite the pain, he kept laughing.

Merlin was scowling at him, his fingernails digging into Arthur’s hand.  Finally Arthur calmed down, wiping tears from his eyes with his free hand.

“Kilgarrah said I was working too hard and needed to take a nap,” Merlin explained sullenly.  Arthur chuckled to himself and kissed him softly, trying to cheer him up.

“I’m not angry you were late that time,” Arthur told him, keeping his lips inches from Merlin’s.  Merlin met his eyes, still looking sulky.  “I love how you get so into whatever you’re thinking about that you forget about time.  It’s lovely.”

And there it was, the light blush that Arthur loved seeing on Merlin’s cheeks.  He tried to make him blush at least once every time they were together; it was that adorable.

“Stop saying things like that,” Merlin muttered, kissing him quickly and then looking away.  “What if I started saying things like ‘your eyes are as deep as the ocean’ and ‘your hair glows like gold in the sun,’ huh?”

“I’d kiss you every time,” Arthur promised, kissing Merlin again to prove it.

Just as Merlin was going to respond, Arthur heard a pointed cough from behind him.  He turned to see Gaius standing there, an eyebrow raised and his briefcase in his hand.

“I forgot about our meeting, and headed over as soon as I remembered,” he told him.  “It doesn’t seem my absence put you two off at all.”

Arthur smiled sheepishly and stepped away from Merlin.  He glanced over at Merlin, and saw he was shifting from foot to foot, as if he was getting ready to bolt down the hall.  Arthur took his hand again just to be safe.

When Merlin shot him a glare, Arthur knew he hadn’t been too far off.

Gaius unlocked his office door, giving them one more once-over before he led the way inside his office and flicked on the lights.

Arthur looked over the tanks as he went in.  He’d been spending time in this office for as long as he could remember, and he always loved to see which creatures Gaius had managed to acquire since the last time.  There were a few new anemones in a tank near the ceiling, and the old mandarinfish tank under the window was empty.  He wondered if Gaius had given the mandarinfish to someone, or if it had finally passed on.

He didn’t think about it for long.  The look on Merlin’s face was a lot more interesting.  Arthur knew Merlin had seen Gaius’s office before, considering they’d run into each other there, but he still had such a look of wonder.  It reminded Arthur of when they’d gone to the aquarium, but it wasn’t as intense.  Gaius’s office was impressive, but nowhere near the level of the aquarium.

Arthur led Merlin to the chairs in front of Gaius’s desk by their linked hands.  Merlin continued to stare at all the tanks, and didn’t seem to realize they were moving until he was sitting in a chair.

Gaius took out the project sheet and set it on top of the paperwork carpeting his desk, then looked up at Arthur and Merlin expectantly.

“We’re almost done compiling our research,” Arthur started, giving Merlin another minute to recover.  “There’s just a few more figures we need, but I’ve spoken to the people we’re getting them from, and it shouldn’t be more than a few days to get them.”

“Once you have the rest of your research, how much left is there to do?” Gaius asked, making a few notes on his sheet.

“Statistical analysis,” Merlin answered, squeezing Arthur’s hand.  Oh, Arthur hadn’t let go of him yet.  He couldn’t do it now, though, because then Merlin might think he was mad at him.  Arthur wasn’t sure how Merlin could think Arthur would ever get mad at him, but if anyone could think that, Merlin would.  “We have to compare the figures from the more environmentally conscious companies and those that are less, as well as comparing the costs of operating and purchasing the environmentally conscious equipment.”

Gaius nodded and made another note.  “And you’ll discuss the impact on marine invertebrates?”

“Of course,” Arthur replied, smiling at Gaius.  “We looked at the different technology available and how it can be used, and offered recommendations based on their impact on invertebrate species.  We’re going to cross-reference the ratings for environmental impact and cost to recommend the best technique for the environment and the business.”

Gaius nodded again, his eyebrows raising a little.  “You’ve certainly thought this through.”

“I’ve thought about this research before,” Arthur told Gaius, trying to keep his emotions further down from the surface.  He didn’t want Merlin to get any hint about Arthur’s connection to this information.  He thought they were able to get this information because of networking Arthur had done at school, not at his father’s parties.

One of Gaius’s eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t say anything.  Merlin gave Arthur a fond smile, then smiled a bit brighter when he turned to Gaius.

“I have as well, because of all the damage I hear about from some of these companies,” he added, letting go of Arthur’s hand to take out the outline of their project.  “Do you want to see our outline?”

“I don’t believe it’s necessary,” Gaius replied, opening a drawer and dropping the sheet he’d been making notes on into it.  “You sound to be on track to finish.  I know you’re the first pair to present and it’s a bit more stressful, but if you have any questions, just ask.  We can schedule another meeting for the Monday of the week you present, just to check everything over.”

Arthur nodded and smiled, keeping his family’s company far from his mind.  He didn’t need to worry about it now.  He’d need to worry when his father came to campus to speak to his Business Management class, but there was still time before then.

Merlin looked over at him again and smiled softly.  “We’ll check our schedules and let you know.”

Arthur smiled back, unable to help himself.  “We can let you know in a couple days.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gaius roll his eyes.  “Yes, well.  You two can go bask in your loving bliss somewhere that isn’t my office.”  
Arthur chuckled and took Merlin’s hand, managing to snag his bag as well and sling it over his shoulder.

“See you in lecture, Gaius,” he called as he tugged Merlin out of the office, intending to bask in this bliss as long as he could.


	27. Merlin

Merlin sighed softly and nuzzled against Arthur’s chest.  It was warm, and soft, no matter how much Arthur went on about his muscles.  There were muscles there of course, and they felt even better without a shirt in the way.

But down that path led danger (and an erection) so he focused on Arthur’s heartbeat.  It was pounding against the side of his head, a little bit fast, but soothing nonetheless.

They were lying on the couch in Arthur’s flat, having forced Gwaine and Percival into the armchair to the side.  It was Gwaine and Percival’s turn to pick up dinner for their _Doctor Who_ night, and Merlin and Arthur had taken the chance to claim the sofa.

Despite Arthur’s vehement denials at wanting to cuddle, Merlin had managed to sprawl across him and tug Arthur’s arms around him, and he was quite content.  Arthur had stopped complaining about it after a few minutes and wound up pulling Merlin tighter against him.

The episode was over, so Merlin didn’t feel bad about closing his eyes.

“Don’t fall asleep on me,” Arthur muttered, nudging him gently in the side.  Merlin grunted and closed his eyes tighter.

“I wasn’t falling asleep,” he replied, “But I might now just to spite you.”

Arthur chuckled and leaned forward to kiss his forehead softly.  Merlin peeked one eye open and glanced over at Gwaine and Percival; the two were cuddling as well, carrying on a quiet conversation of their own.

There had been times when Gwaine and Percival had watched he and Arthur kiss and talk, and it never failed to make him feel self-conscious.  He looked back at Arthur and met the smile on his face with one of his own, and any thoughts of Gwaine and Percival faded away.

“I know how you love to spite me,” Arthur sighed, but he was still smiling.  Merlin kissed him softly, then settled his chin on Arthur’s sternum.

“I do love to spite you,” he murmured, and kissed Arthur again for good measure.  Gods, he was never going to get tired of Arthur’s lips.  Every time they kissed it made him feel warm inside, and his magic threatened to burst out.

He had to keep a tight grip on it, but once he found a way to tell Arthur about his magic, he wouldn’t have to.  He could kiss Arthur, and if the telly started levitating, it wouldn’t be a problem.

He really needed to find a way to tell Arthur, because levitating the telly was becoming a more definite possibility the more Arthur kissed him.

“You seem more tired recently,” Arthur said, taking one hand from around Merlin’s waist to brush some of the hair off of his forehead.  His thumb ran under one of Merlin’s eyes, tracing the dark circle there, making Merlin blush.  Everything Arthur did made him blush.

“It’s all the work I’ve been doing with that conservation group,” he replied, laying his head back on Arthur’s chest.  “We’re protesting later this week, when Uther Pendragon comes to campus, and everyone’s been putting a lot of time in.”

Arthur stiffened beneath him, and not in the utterly delicious way he did when Merlin would rub against him.  No, Arthur was uncomfortable; something was wrong.  Merlin got his arms under himself and pushed up a little so he could look at Arthur better.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, studying Arthur’s face, trying to get some kind of clue.  He could sense guilt, even through the t-shirt barrier between them.

“Will you be safe?” Arthur asked, instead of answering.  Merlin let it go for now, for the sake of calming Arthur down.

“Of course,” Merlin replied.  “It’s a peaceful protest, just some signs, maybe some shouting.  It’s not a riot.”

“Good,” Arthur nodded, and Merlin could see the effort he put into relaxing.

“Did you want to come?” Merlin asked, settling back against Arthur.  “We heard that his son’s going to be there too, and it’s a great opportunity to show them how disgusting their practices are.”

Gwaine and Percival had gone quiet, and Merlin could feel their eyes on him.  He knew they agreed with his and Arthur’s stance on the environment, so why did they look so shocked?

“I have an essay due Friday at midnight,” Arthur replied, after a moment’s hesitation.  “I’ll have to be working on it all day.  If you get in trouble, though, call me.”

“I’m not going to get into trouble,” Merlin said with a laugh.  “It’s just a protest.”

Arthur nodded, and hesitated again.  Merlin raised an eyebrow.  It wasn’t like Arthur to worry this much about what he was saying.  Usually, he would just say whatever it was, and if there was fallout, he’d deal with it after.

“Promise you’ll call me when you get home after the protest,” Arthur said finally.  “Even if nothing happens.  Promise you’ll call.”

“Sure, I promise,” Merlin replied.  If it would make Arthur feel better, he’d call a thousand times.  Besides, if he couldn’t see Arthur, talking to him on the phone was the next best thing.  Maybe he could convince Arthur to try phone sex.  It had always sounded interesting, and it might be easier to get past their pants if they weren’t seeing each other.

They’d been getting… close.  Physically.  Shirts off, sometimes trousers, but every time they tried to get their pants off, one of them would flinch and they’d just rub off against each other.

Hopefully they’d get a chance to try again before Friday, though.  And then many more chances after.  Several times a day, preferably.


	28. Arthur

When Arthur got back to his flat from walking Merlin home, he prayed that Gwaine and Percival had already gone to sleep.  He was almost positive they’d still be awake, but he didn’t want to have to explain everything to them.  Not yet.

“What the fuck was that, Arthur!” Gwaine shouted as soon as Arthur closed the door.  He flinched, wondering if it was too late to go running back to Merlin’s flat and ask to spend the night.

Gwaine appeared in the hallway, and it was too late.  “You didn’t even tell him your last name?!”

Gwaine advanced towards him with fire in his eyes, and Arthur stepped back until he was pressed against the door.  He put his hands up in front of him, bringing Gwaine to a stop right in front of him.

“Does your relationship mean that little to you?” Gwaine hissed, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.  “You can’t tell him the most basic things about you!”

“Merlin and my relationship is important to me!” he protested, his voice weaker than he would have liked.

“Then tell him who you are!” Gwaine barked, making Arthur flinch again.  The last time he’d been shouted at like this was when he was six, and he’d left his toys out on the floor of his room and been late to dinner.  His father had yelled at him for hours and sent him back to his room without dinner.  After that, Arthur had done anything he needed to in order to avoid a situation like that.

But Merlin threw everything off.  He had Arthur so wrapped up in _them_ that he didn’t think about how Gwaine would react.

Or, really, he hadn’t wanted to think about it.

Gwaine pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly remembering what Arthur had told him about the Yelling Incident, and made an effort to calm down.  Percival appeared behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, helping him significantly.

“Relationships can’t be based on lies, Arthur,” Percival said quietly, hesitating to add anything to their argument.

“It’s not based on lies!” Arthur denied.  “He knows me, and I know him.  Why does my name make a difference?  I don’t even approve of my father’s actions with the company, so why do I have to claim it?”

“If he finds out without you telling him, he’s not going to wait for an explanation,” Gwaine told him severely, but quietly.  “He’s going to get angry, and he’s going to make assumptions.  He could think everything about you was a lie.  If you tell him yourself, you at least have a chance to make amends.  It might not work, still, but it’s the better chance.”

“I can’t have him angry with me,” Arthur told him desperately.  He could feel every doubt he’d had about anything to do with Merlin, from talking to him in the pet store that first time to kissing him tonight at his front door.  “I don’t want him to know about my father and the company.”

“You have to trust him,” Gwaine hissed, stepping forward again.  “Merlin isn’t going to care about how much Uther fucked you up as a child or what the company you dislike does.  He’s going to care that you lied to him.”

“I never lied, I just… didn’t tell him.”

“Lying by omission,” Percival replied quietly.

Arthur scrubbed a hand over his eyes.  He needed to think without Gwaine and Percival staring him down, without his father’s influence hanging over him like a guillotine.  He needed to be alone.

So he pushed past Gwaine and Percival, and managed to get into his room and lock the door before they could catch him.  He sat with his back to it, just to be sure they wouldn’t kick it in, and tucked his knees in as tight as he could.

When his father was angry, he’d always sit like this in his room.  He’d turn the lights out and take the comforter off his bed and curl up by the door like this.  When he woke up in the morning after such a night, he’d always find himself in his bed, with the sheets tucked around him.  He was never sure if his father or one of the maids had done it.

He snagged the comforter from his bed and pulled it around his shoulders, wanting some of the comfort he remembered from his childhood.  He looked across the room, at Gwen’s empty tank.

She had been the other thing that had gotten him through his life at Pendragon Manor.  She was so pretty, with her scales shining in the light and her fins flicking in the water.  He’d tell her about his days, and she’d just keep swimming around her tank.

It always made him feel better.  If a fish could be so carefree when faced with his problems, then what did Arthur have to fear?

But now there was just an empty tank, and a dark room, and a blue comforter around his shoulders instead of the red one in his room at the manor.

Just as he felt he was drowning under the weight of everything, his father, the company, _Merlin_ , his phone buzzed in his pocket.

_Kilgarrah’s telling me that I should get a nice red shirt.  Think it means something?_

When he saw Merlin’s number, Arthur could feel some of the darkness boiling in his chest calm.  They’d always joked that red was Arthur’s color, and anything red automatically belonged to Arthur.  If Merlin wore a red shirt, that would mean he belonged to Arthur.

 _We can go look for one tomorrow_.

He kept his phone in a tight grip, inches from his face as he waited for Merlin’s reply.  What if Merlin didn’t reply?  What if he decided Arthur wasn’t worth his time?

_I can get some red pants, too ;)_

Arthur barked out a laugh, then froze.  He’d laughed, after feeling so horrible and desperate only a minute before.  What was Merlin doing to him?

But the winky face was so Merlin.  He was being his usual self.  Arthur hated smileys, and Merlin knew that.  So, of course, Merlin took every opportunity to use one of them.  Just to make Arthur laugh.

And, as usual, it did.


	29. Merlin

Merlin only waited for the door to the corridor to close before he threw his arms around Arthur’s neck and slammed their lips together.  Arthur immediately wrapped his arms around Merlin’s waist and pulled him closer.

Gods, Merlin would never get tired of Arthur’s arms.  There were a lot of parts of Arthur that he would never get tired of (including his personality, of course), but his arms… His hands were strong and calloused from some sport he’d played, but his fingers weren’t as stocky as he always expected.  They were long and dusted with soft hair, and Merlin loved the feeling of his fingertips running down his chest and up his back.  His arms were nicely muscled, just enough to be noticeable but not so much to be off-putting.  And when they wrapped around Merlin and held him tightly, he felt like Arthur was a knight in shining armor that would protect him from anything that meant him harm.

Not that Merlin was a damsel in distress.  But Arthur was so noble, both in his values and his looks, that he must have been a prince in a past life.

“If you’re going to think about other things, I’m just going to stop,” Arthur muttered, sucking lightly at the side of Merlin’s neck.  Merlin hummed and tilted his head to offer up more of his skin.

“Was thinking about your arms,” Merlin replied, closing his eyes.

“That’s fine, then,” Arthur told him, changing to scattering kisses across his throat.  “You can keep thinking about my arms while we go over to the bed.”

“Well aren’t you smooth,” Merlin teased, stepping backwards and pulling Arthur with him.  He kissed Arthur’s cheek, and then followed his jawline, then trailed down to his Adam’s apple.  He wanted to leave marks on Arthur’s neck, of course, but he also wanted to keep Arthur from seeing his eyes.  They glowed gold, as he was using his magic to move anything that was in the way of getting to the bed.  He was almost positive that Arthur was too distracted to notice, and when he heard Arthur moan softly he was completely sure.

Arthur was surprisingly easy to trick.  Merlin wished he didn’t know that.

When they stood in front of the bed, Merlin let his magic slip back into its reservoir.  Arthur loved pushing him onto the bed, and he didn’t want his magic so close to the surface that it would accidentally bleed out from something physical.  His magic had protected him from enough bullying that, if he let it out of his control even a little, it would automatically protect him.  He didn’t want a shockwave of magic to throw Arthur across the room while they were making out.

Sure enough, Arthur pushed him back onto the bed.  Merlin laughed as he bounced on the worn-out springs, then harder when the headboard knocked against the wall.  Arthur kneeled on the edge of the bed and started slowly crawling up over Merlin.

“Hurry up, you prat,” Merlin ordered, sliding a hand into Arthur’s hair and trying to tug him into a kiss.  Arthur and all his muscles stayed just out of mouth range.  To make it even worse, his lips curled into a teasing grin.

“Didn’t you call me to come over so we could work on the project?” Arthur asked, pressing his hips down against Merlin’s but still not kissing him.

“Do you really want to stop now and work on the project?” Merlin huffed, bucking his hips to rub against Arthur again.

“Destiny does not wait,” Kilgarrah called from his tank next to them.

Merlin flopped back on the bed and scowled.  “Kilgarrah, what have I told you about this?”

“I am only trying to assist you in finding your destiny,” Kilgarrah responded, swimming to the side of his tank closest to them.  “Your destiny must be fulfilled.”

Merlin rolled his eyes.  “That’s it.  You had your warning.”  He sat up enough to pull his shirt over his head, then tossed it over Kilgarrah’s tank, so Kilgarrah couldn’t see them.  “No more talking, or I leave the shirt on all night, and tomorrow, too.”

“I will respect your wishes,” Kilgarrah replied, muffled by the shirt.  “For now.”

Merlin rolled his eyes again, then put his arms around Arthur’s neck and pulled him closer.  “I’ve already done some of the work for you, taking off my shirt,” he told Arthur.  “So what are you waiting for?”

Arthur considered it for a moment, then slipped out of Merlin’s hold and pressed a kiss to his sternum.  “Absolutely nothing,” he said against Merlin’s chest, before he trailed over to one of Merlin’s nipples.  Before Arthur even touched it, Merlin smiled and closed his eyes.  Whenever Lance had gotten his shirt off, he’d never paid attention to Merlin’s nipples.  He hadn’t even realized they could give him pleasure until Arthur had whipped off his shirt and showed him.

Merlin’s back arched at the first touch of Arthur’s lips to his nipple, and a moan tumbled from his lips when Arthur dragged the flat of his tongue across it.  His breathing picked up as Arthur gripped Merlin’s waist tight in his rough hands and held him to the bed.

“Arthur,” he groaned, managing to coordinate his limbs enough to bring one hand to Arthur’s hair.  He gripped the soft strands and held Arthur’s head to his chest, still trying to arch up into him.

Arthur nibbled gently, then sucked to take the sting away.  Merlin let out a small sigh, twisting a little under Arthur to get one of Arthur’s legs between his.  As soon as they’d found their favorite position, with each of them able to grind against each other’s thigh, they started to move in sync.  Merlin braced his heels against the edge of the mattress to gain some leverage to buck against him, while Arthur relied purely on his balance.

Merlin felt himself falling apart embarrassingly fast, as per usual.  The rough friction of his pants against his cock, and the pressure of Arthur’s muscled thigh pressing against him, and the suction over his nipple was almost too much.

“Arthur,” he moaned, trying to warn him.  Arthur understood him immediately, of course, and braced himself above Merlin so they stopped rubbing against each other.  Every time Arthur could pull back like this, immediately and completely, Merlin’s envy of his self-control was renewed.

Arthur deserved a reward.  So Merlin reached down and unbuttoned Arthur’s jeans, then pulled the zipper down and started tugging them off.  Arthur chuckled and slid off the bed, standing up just long enough to shuck his jeans off and then climbing on top of Merlin again.

“What about mine?” Merlin asked, pushing himself up to steal a kiss.  Arthur kissed back, sliding his tongue past Merlin’s lips to twine with his.  Merlin flicked his tongue against Arthur’s, using every trick that Arthur had taught him.

Finally Arthur pulled back.  “You never took off my shirt.”

Merlin chuckled and grabbed the hem of Arthur’s t-shirt and pulled it up, waited for Arthur to get his arms out, and then over his head.  He wanted to snap something back, but Arthur’s chest was really too nice to _not_ stare at.  He grinned and ran his hands over Arthur’s pectorals, taking care to rub at his nipples just to feel Arthur shiver, then down over his abs.  He could feel the ridges of his muscles, and it made his mouth water and his cock twitch.  Merlin was never happier that he was dating a footie player than when he could see all of the work Arthur put into his body.

He should appreciate it a little more thoroughly, actually.  Arthur usually took charge when they were like this, and would shower Merlin with attention, and Merlin loved that, but he hadn’t had a chance to return the favor.

With the help of just a little magic, he rolled them over and pinned Arthur’s shoulders to the bed.  Arthur raised an eyebrow, and Merlin grinned in response.

“I love your chest,” he said as explanation, and leaned down to lick the line down the center of his abs.  Arthur looked down at him and smiled back.

“By all means, show your love,” he murmured, and Merlin did just that.  He sucked, licked, and kissed over every ridge and dip of Arthur’s muscles, from his throat to the waistband of his pants.  He palmed Arthur’s thighs, savoring the twitches he could feel in the muscles.  Gods, Arthur’s muscles.

Finally, Merlin sat back and shucked off his pajama bottoms.  Once they were gone, he laid down on top of Arthur, pressing against him from chest to thigh.

“My chest loves you too,” Arthur told him running a hand down Merlin’s arm and twining their fingers together.

Merlin chuckled and pressed a quick kiss to Arthur’s lips.  “I’m glad.  I think we’re going to run away together to get married.”

“I’d be quite devastated if you did.  I need my chest.  And you.”

Merlin smiled, and couldn’t help but kiss him again.  “All right, enough sap from you.  Now make me come.”

“With pleasure,” Arthur purred, then ground against him roughly.  Merlin groaned and arched against him, savoring the feel of Arthur’s cock against his.  Through the barrier of their pants, of course, but it was a thin barrier.  Thin enough that Merlin could feel the head of Arthur’s cock dragging against his, and the heavy weight of his balls pressing against Merlin’s.

Arthur licked into Merlin’s mouth, muffling both of their moans.  Merlin was grateful for it; they’d found out the hard way how thin the walls in his building were last week.  Merlin slid his free hand down Arthur’s back, savoring the flexing of the muscles as they ground together, and dipped lower to squeeze one of Arthur’s arse cheeks.  He’d never dared to really touch Arthur anywhere his pants covered, but any inhibitions he had flew out of him as Arthur’s mouth and cock occupied every synapse in his brain.

Finally, Merlin came, groaning into Arthur’s mouth and squeezing his hand and arse.  Arthur ground against him twice more, then Merlin felt him tense and a spurt of come onto his stomach.

He looked down, his eyes a little unfocused, and then couldn’t tear his eyes away.  They’d both been so caught up in the sensation, and each other, that neither had noticed when Arthur’s pants had slipped down in the front.

Merlin was staring at the head of Arthur’s cock.  He could see Arthur’s cock.  Arthur’s come was on his stomach.

He reached down, his hand trembling a little, and ran his fingers through the come on his stomach, watching in fascination as it clung to his fingers.

“Shit, sorry,” Arthur muttered, grabbing his shirt and wiping off Merlin’s stomach, then pulling his pants back up.  His cheeks were bright red, and that became Merlin’s focus next.

“Would you feel less embarrassed if I pulled my pants down too?” He asked, half-joking.

Arthur chuckled and leaned down to kiss him again.  “I think I’ll manage without it.”

Merlin nodded and tugged Arthur down onto the bed next to him.  “Do we really have to work on the project?” he asked, snuggling against Arthur’s side and nudging his nose against Arthur’s collarbone.

“We can wait a bit,” Arthur replied, putting his arm around Merlin’s waist and cuddling against him.  Merlin smiled softly, and caught a peek at the two of them in the mirror against the far wall.  Now he could see Arthur up close, and far away.

Seeing himself next to Arthur, pale and skinny with tanned and toned, made Arthur seem even more impressive.  But wasn’t that what a relationship was?  You make each other better.  It went the other way as well; Arthur’s tan made Merlin’s pale chest look almost luminescent, and the slight muscles he did have seemed more natural on him.

Merlin smiled at himself in the mirror, then buried his face against Arthur’s neck again.  He’d rather savor the feeling of pressing against Arthur then look at the two of them together.


	30. Arthur

Arthur’s phone rang just as he reached the door to his flat.  He fished it out of his pocket, and when he saw the caller ID, he was glad this call hadn’t come 10 minutes earlier, when he’d still been at Merlin’s.

His father was calling him.

He answered it quickly, knowing how much his father despised waiting for people to pick up their phones.

“Father,” he greeted as he slotted his key in the lock and went into his flat.  Gwaine poked his head out of the kitchen to say something, and then retreated again when he saw Arthur was on the phone.

“Arthur,” Uther replied curtly.  “I want to discuss the details of my visit this Friday.”

“There’s still four days until then,” he said, trying to avoid this conversation.  Merlin still didn’t know Arthur-his-boyfriend was really Arthur Pendragon, and he pushed anything from his mind that said Merlin would know very soon.  He’d like to keep up the illusion, but Uther wouldn’t allow that.

“Exactly, we should have discussed the schedule at least a week beforehand.”

Arthur covered the receiver so he could sigh.  His father wouldn’t approve of it, but he couldn’t keep it in.  The universe seemed determined to reveal his secret.

“All right, let me get a piece of paper and a pen,” he replied, walking into his room and pulling a blank sheet of paper and a pen from the mess on top of his desk.  He’d neglected his cleaning and organizing schedule to spend time with Merlin, and it showed.

“I will be arriving at 10:30,” Uther said, after a ten second pause.  Arthur perked up a little; Merlin had class then, and he’d started going to see his maths professor for help right after it.  If Uther went immediately into his presentation, and left after, Merlin wouldn’t have a chance to join the protest.  It was unlikely Uther would want to stay long at a college campus, especially with the end of the fiscal quarter coming up.  “My presentation will begin at 10:45, which is five minutes after the class period begins.  I will speak for 50 minutes and allow questions for 15 minutes.”

Arthur closed his eyes and smiled slightly.  If his father finished his presentation five minutes before the end of class, they’d definitely be able to get off of campus before Merlin could see them.   He’d have plenty of time to figure out how to tell Merlin.

He was under no illusions that Merlin would be okay with it.  Merlin would still be angry with him for not saying anything earlier.  But, hopefully, it wouldn’t be as bad if Arthur told him himself.

“After my presentation, we will go to a campus eatery of your choice for lunch.”

With that, Arthur’s heart sank.  If they were spending that much time on campus, there’d be a greater chance of Merlin seeing him with Uther.  It would be almost impossible to avoid.

“Are you sure you’d like to eat on campus?” Arthur asked, keeping his voice carefully neutral.  Uther would not forgive any emotion in this situation, especially if Arthur wasn’t willing to explain why he was emotional.  "Every place is going to be crowded at that time.  It would be easier to eat somewhere else.”

“I’ve never properly visited Albion,” Uther replied immediately.  “I want to do that now.  After lunch I would like a tour, and then you can join me for dinner in the city.”

Arthur knew then that his fate was sealed.  Walking around Albion for an hour, maybe two, would ensure that Merlin would see.  Merlin only had those two classes in the morning, and there was nothing to stop him from going to the protest in the afternoon.

He needed to tell Merlin.

But first he needed to finish talking to his father.  That was a difficult task in and of itself.

“Would you like me to make a reservation for dinner?” Arthur asked faintly, staring blankly at the wall in front of him.  It was plain white.  Uther didn’t believe in unnecessary decoration, and the building hadn’t allowed them to paint the walls.

“That would be helpful.  I’m glad to see you’re taking initiative, even if it is in a minor capacity.”  He heard papers rustling through the phone.  Uther must be working while they were talking.  Arthur wasn’t even worth his full attention.  “You know what I like.”

“I do,” he confirmed, already running through a mental list of the restaurants in the area that would meet Uther’s standards.

“I will speak to you again on Thursday.”  Uther hung up, not even really saying goodbye.

Arthur could remember, vaguely, when Uther had given him attention.  They were his oldest memories.  His father hadn’t been affectionate, but he’d still taken the time to eat dinner with Arthur and come to his school events.

Once he’d gotten older, his life turned to lonely dinners sitting in the kitchen, if he wasn’t at one of his father’s parties.  There was always an empty seat for Uther at award ceremonies, footie games, and debate tournaments.

Arthur had gotten over it.  Mostly.  That had been the only action he could take.  He knew that if he tried to say anything to his father, Uther would either ignore him or berate him.  Silence was better.

Arthur put his phone on his desk and stared at it.  He should call Merlin and tell him.  Everything would be so much worse if Merlin found out on Friday.

He swiped the screen of his phone to unlock it, and was about to go to the numberpad when he froze.

He’d changed his phone’s background to the picture of Merlin at the aquarium as a joke.  Merlin looked so happy and carefree.  He looked like nothing was wrong in his world.

He couldn’t do it.  Merlin would be angrier with him if Arthur wasn’t the one to tell him, of course.  But Merlin would be happier for a little bit longer if Arthur kept quiet.  Either way Merlin would be upset.  Wasn’t it better to let Merlin be happy and ignorant a little longer?

Arthur already knew that people grew tired of him.  Gwaine had started spending nights at Percival’s, and his own father had stopped paying attention to him.  No matter what he did, he’d wind up without Merlin.

He could let Merlin, and himself, be happier a little longer.  Just a little longer.


	31. Merlin

Merlin loved spending time at Arthur’s flat.  It was brighter and Arthur’s mattress was softer.  Also, Kilgarrah couldn’t interrupt them.

And Arthur liked dark-colored sheets on his bed.  Arthur looked delicious spread out on dark blue sheets; Arthur had confessed thinking the same about Merlin.

Merlin wanted to have sex with Arthur on these sheets.

That was immediately applicable, considering Merlin was kneeling above Arthur on the bed with Arthur’s cock inches from his mouth.  Merlin hadn’t given anyone a blowjob before, but he’s watched enough porn to know the basics.  And he thought about giving one to Arthur countless times, even in the short time they’d known each other and the shorter time they’d been dating.

Merlin wanted to have sex with Arthur on these sheets, but right now he wanted to give Arthur a blowjob on these sheets.  And then hopefully receive a blowjob on these sheets.

As soon as Merlin got a job he was going to buy a set of dark blue sheets.

Now back to the matter at hand.  Or at mouth.

He shifted his grip on the base of Arthur’s cock, flicking his tongue over his lips as he studied the head.

“Are you going to just stare at it?” Arthur asked, his voice strained.  Merlin didn’t even bother glancing up at him.

“It is very nice to stare at,” Merlin replied.  “But I think it’ll taste even better.”

He knew Arthur had some sort of retort primed, so he ducked his head and licked the slit of Arthur’s cock to stop him from saying it.  Arthur let out a choked off groan; Merlin wished he’d known sucking Arthur’s cock would shut him up two weeks ago.

He was right about Arthur tasting good.  He’d never tasted anything like it.  But then, he’d never known anyone like Arthur.  And he’d never tasted anyone else.  Even if that was true, he knew that Arthur was special.  He’s sure no one tasted as good as Arthur did.

Now that he’d had a taste, he couldn’t leave it like that.  Merlin fit his lips around the head of Arthur’s cock and sucked lightly, trying to get a sense of what Arthur liked the most.

Arthur tried to buck up into his mouth, but Merlin held him down.  It seemed Arthur liked when Merlin sucked on him, so he sucked harder.

Merlin closed his eyes so he could focus more on how Arthur tasted and felt.  His cock was silky-smooth, with the larger veins protruding slightly, but otherwise an even texture.  The head felt different against his tongue, and it wasn’t as off-putting as Merlin had heard it described.

The whole blowjob thing wasn’t as bad as people said.  Everyone seemed against sucking someone off, but Merlin loved it.  He could hear every little moan that Arthur let out, and every movement Arthur’s hips made was magnified.

Merlin shifted a little, so he was kneeling over one of Arthur’s legs instead of over both, and turned his head slightly to avoid getting a crick in his neck.  The change in angle made it easier to flick his tongue under the head and along the vein on the underside.

Arthur jolted under him when he did, and one of his hands landed on the top of Merlin’s head.  For a moment he was nervous that Arthur would try to push him down further, as Merlin knew he couldn’t take much more into his mouth without choking.  But Arthur just ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair and groaned his name.

It took a moment for Merlin to realize that, in this new position, he could grind his hips against Arthur’s leg.  They’d both lost their pants, and the sensation of his bare cock dragging against Arthur’s skin was intoxicating.

Merlin bobbed his head cautiously, testing how far he could push himself before he got uncomfortable.  Once he discovered the perfect rhythm that allowed him to suck hard on each upstroke, he stuck with it.  He bucked against Arthur’s thigh, and trailed one of his hands from Arthur’s hip to his balls.

Arthur gasped out a moan, then followed it by saying, “Merlin, I’m not going to last.”

Merlin assumed that was supposed to make him stop.  Why would he, though?  What was wrong with making Arthur feel so great that he couldn’t stop himself from coming?

So Merlin sucked harder, and Arthur’s hand tightened in his hair.  He palmed Arthur’s balls, the same way he did to himself sometimes.  He ground harder against Arthur and swirled his tongue around the head of Arthur’s cock.  
And just like that, with a choked off moan, Arthur came into his mouth.  He tried to swallow as much as he could, but he wasn’t quite able to manage it.  Some of the come leaked out of the corners of his mouth and down his chin, and he let Arthur’s cock slip out of his mouth so he could lick up the drips.

Once he’d cleaned up all the come, to the tune of Arthur’s moans, his attention shifted and he realized how badly he needed to come.  He’d been so absorbed in making Arthur feel good that he hadn’t even noticed how close he was, or that Arthur’s leg was sticky with his pre-come.

“Oh Gods,” he groaned, rocking his hips faster.  Now that he could feel how close his climax was, he couldn’t hold it back.  Arthur’s hand was still in his hair, and it resumed the petting from before.

“Want to watch you come, Merlin,” Arthur panted.  Merlin looked up at him and met Arthur’s blue eyes, hazy with lust even though he’d just come.  Lust for _Merlin_.

Merlin pressed his mouth to Arthur’s stomach, his delicious stomach, to muffle his moan as he came.  He spurted against Arthur, and he was sure some landed on the sheets.

He managed to gather enough energy to push himself up on his hands and knees, so he could look down at Arthur.

Arthur smiled up at him, his cheeks flushed and his hair all mussed up.  He must have been tossing his head against the pillows.  Merlin smirked in satisfaction; he’d _ruined_ Arthur.  And those blue sheets really did make him look beautiful.

They needed to have sex on these sheets.

“We should have sex on these sheets,” Merlin announced, collapsing down on top of Arthur and snuggling against him.

“I’ll need a couple minutes,” Arthur replied, sliding his arms around Merlin easily.

Merlin laughed and laid his head on Arthur’s chest, right over his heart.  “Not right now, you prat.  I don’t think I can get it up again for at least an hour.”  
Arthur grinned and brought one hand up to brush his thumb over Merlin’s nipple.

“That’s not a challenge!”  Merlin batted Arthur’s hand away, but he was smiling.  “Not today, but I don’t want to wait _too_ long.  Saturday, maybe?”

Arthur tensed against him, and Merlin wasn’t sure why.  Was he that nervous about it?  To be honest, Merlin was too, but he wasn’t tensing up like that.  Besides, Merlin would be worse off if something went wrong, so shouldn’t he be more worried about it?

“Why Saturday?”

“I’ve been doing some reading online, and whoever bottoms might need Sunday to recover,” Merlin replied, kissing the skin over Arthur’s heart gently.  “I’d hate for one of us to be sore in Monday lectures.”

Arthur nodded and, with some helpful magic, the tension started to bleed out of him.  Arthur pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

It amazed Merlin sometimes how gentle Arthur was.  When they’d first met, Merlin always assumed Arthur was a bit more rough-and-tumble.  Sure, he had his moments, but he always treated Merlin like something precious.  It made it so easy to love him.

“I love you,” Merlin murmured, not realizing what he was saying until after he’d said it. Of course, by that time, it was too late to take it back.  Arthur had frozen under him.  Merlin couldn’t even tell if he was breathing

And then, just when Merlin was seriously contemplating turning back time, Arthur tightened his hold on Merlin and hauled him up so that he could kiss him soundly.

“I love you, too,” Arthur told him seriously.  Merlin met his eyes, his own wide with surprise.  Arthur’s eyes were shining, like he was close to tears.  But he was smiling, and Merlin had to smile back.

Arthur had the kind of smile that you couldn’t resist.  Merlin always had to smile when Arthur did.

Merlin felt like everything was going right for them.  After all of the arguing and coldness between them at first, to have gotten to this point…

He never wanted this feeling of bliss to fade away.


	32. Arthur

“Your presentation this morning went well,” Arthur said for what must be the fifth time.  It was difficult to hold a conversation with his father for ten minutes on the phone, and near impossible to find something to say for two hours. 

Uther realized how repetitive Arthur was being, and replied, “You’ve told me so already.”

Arthur nodded.  He wanted to fidget with the edge of his suit jacket, but his father would criticize him for it.

He was so close to not caring and doing it anyway.  Their tour was almost over, and they were fast approaching the area where the protestors were standing.  He had tried to guide his father a different way, to avoid the protestors for just a little longer, but Uther had a good memory.  He knew when Arthur was trying to take him down a path they’d gone already.

Arthur glanced at his watch.  If he could stall his father for half an hour, Merlin would be back in class.  Merlin wouldn’t find out if he was in class.  Just half an hour.

But there was nowhere else to take Uther.  They’d gone to every business building, walked through the entire campus, and eaten in the student center.  He tried to take Uther into other buildings, but he said there was no point in visiting buildings and departments Arthur had no connection with.

He just needed half an hour.

“Are you sure you don’t want to see where I have my Marine Invertebrates lecture?” Arthur asked, desperate now to keep Uther away.  Not that he wasn’t desperate before, but time was running out.  “Gaius’s office is near there, I’m sure he’d be around.”

“I don’t need to see where you have that useless class,” Uther replied, his back straightening to make him appear even more imposing.  Arthur could have done without that extra intimidation.  He was already regretting bringing up that class.  “And I certainly do not need to see Dr. Alyston.”

Bringing up Gaius was a horrible decision.  His father didn’t even know that Arthur met with Gaius almost every week.  He didn’t know about the phone conversations over the years.  If he was lucky, his father would never find out.

But now, there was only one last attempt he could make.  His father wouldn’t be happy about it.

“There’s protestors up ahead,” he told his father, hoping Uther wouldn’t want to go past them.

“I know,” Uther replied, with a small smile.  “We passed them on the way to your lecture.”

“Yes,” Arthur replied.  He took a deep breath.  “They’re going to shout at you, and they have signs.  They might throw things.”

“They’re going to shout at _us_ ,” Uther told him pointedly, clapping Arthur on the shoulder.  “You’re my son.  You’re a part of Pendragon Oil, even if you aren’t officially employed by the company yet.  You are a part of the legacy.”

Arthur wondered why he never got a say in this.  He didn’t want to be part of the Pendragon Oil legacy, not if it meant endangering the lives of sea creatures.

Once he becomes CEO, he’s going to change their practices.  Hopefully he’d be able to convince his father to change at least a couple of the worse methods they use.  Realistically, his father would ignore everything he suggested.  If he was a part of the company and the legacy, why did he not get a voice in the company or the legacy?

“I would prefer going a different way.”  That was it.  He had to admit to some form of weakness.  Uther would either allow it, and then criticize him afterward, or berate him for it without allowing it.

“We have nothing to fear from the common people.”

“I don’t fear them, I just don’t want to antagonize them further.”

“You care too much about what they think of you,” Uther surmised.  Arthur pursed his lips; Uther was partially right.  “You know what you’re doing is important if there are people fighting against you.  If you weren’t making a difference, no one would care enough to protest.”  He smiled, the shark’s smile that Arthur had learned to fear early on in life.  “What we do is important, Arthur.  We are making a difference.”

 _But not the right difference_ , Arthur wanted to say.  He wanted to fight against his father and prove how wrong he was.  Uther would never listen, especially when it followed a declaration of “weakness.”

Maybe Merlin wasn’t with the protestors.  Maybe he forgot about some work he had to do for his afternoon class, and was busy doing it in the library.  That had happened more than once.  It could happen again.  Maybe he’d gotten sick and gone home.  That had happened as well, after they had eaten some bad seafood for dinner the night before.

But Merlin would have told Arthur if he’d gotten sick, and he would have texted Arthur something panicked if he had work he’d forgotten.

Arthur had checked his phone while Uther was talking with one of his professors.  Merlin hadn’t sent him any messages.

Maybe Merlin hadn’t texted him because Arthur had said he had an essay to write.  Merlin probably didn’t want to disturb him.

But Merlin never worried about disturbing about Arthur before.  Arthur had told Merlin he was pulling all-nighters, and Merlin would still text him random messages.  Merlin knew that it made Arthur smile, even when he was stressed out.  Merlin would have texted him, no matter what.

Merlin was with the protestors.

Merlin was going to see Arthur with his father.

Arthur could see the signs now.  Once they turned around this building, they’d be in full view of the protestors.

Arthur could feel the panic welling up inside him.  He would give almost anything to have Merlin next to him holding his hand.  Merlin was always so good at calming him down, just by holding his hand or sending a text.

But that was the whole problem.  Merlin wouldn’t want to send him texts or hold his hand once he knew who Arthur was.

He could see the protestors now.  There were more of them than he thought.  Maybe Merlin wouldn’t be able to see clearly through the crowd.

Then he caught sight of Merlin, at the front of the crowd.  He had a big sign in his hands, declaring ‘OIL AND WATER DO NOT MIX.’

Arthur slowed down a bit, trying to stay behind his father so that Merlin wouldn’t be able to see him.  Uther noticed immediately.  Why did Uther only notice Arthur when he didn’t want to be noticed?

“Don’t hide from them,” Uther commanded, putting his hand on Arthur’s shoulder again.  He pushed him a little ahead of Uther, so he was in full view.  There’d be no mistaking who he was, especially for Merlin.  They’d be walking only a few meters in front of the crowd.

Arthur set his shoulders back and raised his head.  If Merlin was going to see him anyway, he might as well try to please his father.

As they drew closer to the crowd, Arthur couldn’t help but glance over.  And what he saw broke him completely.

Merlin was staring straight at him, his mouth open with surprise.  He was completely shocked, his blue eyes wide and the sign slipping in his hands before he grabbed it tightly again.

Merlin’s eyes filled with betrayal and tears gathered in the corners.  A few tears slipped down his cheeks, and that was when his expression changed.

He scowled at Arthur, more anger in his eyes than Arthur thought possible for him.  He started shouting louder, waving his sign around with more energy, even as tears continued to stream down his face.

Arthur couldn’t keep watching.  He stared straight ahead of him, his face completely blank.  Uther had taught him how to hide his emotions the first time someone picked on him in school, and it was a lesson he never forgot.  Uther was always proud of him when he could hide his emotions effectively.

But when they were almost to the road, where their car waited, he couldn’t help but glance back.  His gaze immediately fell on Merlin, who was still at the front of the crowd of protestors.  But he didn’t look as angry.  He looked more defeated than anything.

Arthur knew he was still angry, but he looked more upset now.  More sad.  More betrayed.

Just another person that found some part of Arthur undesirable.

Uther squeezed his shoulder, and told him, “See?  You are stronger than them, Arthur, and they know it.”

It was the most affection Uther had shown him in the last ten years.


	33. Merlin

_What?_

When Merlin first saw Uther with _Arthur_ that was all he could think.  He froze completely.  He could faintly see the other protestors waving their signs and hear them yelling.  But everything in him was focused on Arthur.

_What?_

Arthur was walking with Uther Pendragon.  It had been announced that Uther Pendragon would be accompanied by his son during his visit to Albion.  The only other person walking with Uther and Arthur was the bodyguard, who was trailing a few meters back.

_What?_

Arthur had to be Uther’s son.  Arthur, the man that Merlin loved, was really Arthur Pendragon.  He was a part of the Pendragon family.  He was the heir of the company that had poisoned oceans and killed thousands of sea creatures.

Merlin met Arthur’s eyes.  Arthur looked upset.  One part of Merlin wanted to go over to Arthur and calm him down; the other part of him couldn’t care less what Arthur Pendragon was feeling.

He’d risked revealing his magic to make Arthur feel more comfortable.  He’d almost revealed his magic to Arthur Pendragon.  He was planning on having sex with Arthur Pendragon.  He had said he loved Arthur Pendragon.

Even though Merlin still didn’t want to believe it, so many things made more sense with this new information.  Arthur never talked about his family, or his childhood.  He didn’t seem to have much passion for business, but he still worked extremely hard in his classes.  He had no problem leaving a mess in the kitchen, but his room needed to be meticulous at all times.

It was because he’d been raised by Uther Pendragon.  In some sort of castle, most likely, and he’d been groomed to take over his family’s company since he was a _fetus_.

Even though so many details about Arthur’s life started to make sense, there were just as many that confused Merlin.

Why hadn’t Arthur told him?

Why had Merlin been fine with not knowing his boyfriend’s last name?

_Why?_

That was what really made Merlin angry.  Why hadn’t Arthur told him?  Did Arthur think so little of Merlin, to believe that Merlin would blindly hate him because of whom his father was?  Why did Merlin never even try to find out Arthur’s _last fucking name_?

He could tell he was crying, but he didn’t care.  Merlin knew Arthur hated it when Merlin was upset.  Served Arthur Pendragon right, to see how much Arthur had hurt Merlin.

He yelled louder, and held his sign higher.  He kept shouting at the Pendragons, even after they’d passed by the group.  He didn’t know what he was shouting.  He didn’t care.

As quickly as he found his anger, it faded.  Even though he wanted to slap Arthur Pendragon and push him to the ground, he could never be mad at Arthur.

_Why did he not know until now?_

Arthur turned to look back at him once.  He couldn’t muster the energy to keep his emotions from his face.  Arthur looked away quickly; he probably didn’t want to face what he’d done to Merlin.

Merlin didn’t particularly want to face what Arthur had done to him, either.

So he turned and wove through the crowd around him.  The Pendragons had reached the street now and were almost out of sight, but the protestors hadn’t stopped.  Merlin couldn’t keep doing this.

He managed to get out of the crowd and around the corner of the closest building before everything overwhelmed him.  Tears streamed from his eyes again, and his chest heaved with gasping breaths.  He hunched over, wrapping his arms around himself.  There were spots in his vision, and he could feel his stomach churning.  If he didn’t get himself under control, he was going to throw up or pass out.

He tried to call on his magic to help calm him down, but it was impossible.  His magic surged within him, agitated by his emotions, but refused to bend to his command.

He fell to his knees next to the building, his eyes and mouth wide open. This was it; he was going to pass out.  No one would find him.  The only person that cared about him at this school didn’t really care after all.

Then a hand landed on his shoulder and he instantly calmed.  Dimly, he recognized the influence of foreign magic flowing into his body.  Usually his magic fought against unfamiliar powers; this time, however, it settled back into its dormant state, and Merlin was able to calm down.

Once he felt he could move without throwing up, Merlin looked up.  Gaius was standing over him, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Come into my office, Merlin,” he said, helping Merlin to his feet.  Gaius was stronger than Merlin had thought.  Maybe it was magic helping him.

Faintly, Merlin could remember Gaius telling him he had magic.  He downplayed it, though.  Said it wasn’t that strong.  The memory was foggy, though; it was from before Arthur.  Everything at Albion before Arthur was foggy.

Merlin let himself be led inside the building and down the hall to Gaius’s office.  He kept his head down, watching where he put his feet.  He was still unstable, and he didn’t want to trip and bring Gaius down with him.

Gaius ushered him inside the office and helped Merlin into a chair, then flicked the switch on his kettle to heat up water for tea.  Gaius sat behind his desk and pulled two cups and saucers out from a drawer, along with a package of biscuits.

The water heated abnormally fast.  Or maybe Merlin had just lost sense of time.

Gaius put a teabag in the cup, added a dash of liquid from a vial in his desk, and handed it to Merlin.

Merlin took a sip.  Gaius had added whiskey to it.  The combination made him feel better.

“You knew who Arthur is,” Merlin said after a moment.  It was the only answer he could think of.  Arthur was Gaius’s godson.

“Yes,” Gaius replied evenly.  “But I wasn’t aware that you didn’t know.”

“He never told me,” Merlin murmured, taking another sip of tea.  It was slightly too hot.  “I never asked.”

“It’s understandable.  Young love doesn’t care for complications, even when the complications inevitably arrive.”

“We never even argued,” Merlin said.  He couldn’t believe it, even though he’d lived it.  “We never fought, we were never mad at each other.  We spent almost all of our time together.  I never even guessed he was…”

“Why would you have guessed?” Gaius asked kindly.  “There was no reason for you to suspect he’s a Pendragon.   You didn’t know his last name, but you know who he is as a person.  That is far more important.”

“The Arthur I knew wouldn’t have kept something like this from me.”

“Arthur did do you wrong by keeping this a secret from you,” Gaius pointed out.  “But keep in mind, you only ever saw Arthur happy.  You didn’t see all of him.”

“He was always happy,” Merlin muttered, taking a biscuit and munching on it.

“I can tell you from experience that that is not true,” Gaius replied.  “I’ve known him since he was born.”

Merlin stared at him.  If Gaius had known Arthur for that long, it meant…

“I worked for the Pendragons, and Uther and I were close friends.”

“Is everyone involved with the Pendragons?” Merlin snapped, scowling down at his tea.  “Everyone’s been keeping this from me.”

“I did not keep it from you on purpose,” Gaius told him sternly.  “No one would keep it from you on purpose.  Everyone would assume you knew, and if someone found out you didn’t, Arthur would tell them he would tell you.  You cannot blame this on everyone.”

Merlin nodded as shame spread through him.  He was mad at Arthur Pendragon.  Gaius didn’t deserve having this anger taken out on him.

“I _was_ close friends with Uther.  I was an advisor for the company as well.  When Uther started to care more for profits than the environment, I told him I didn’t approve.  I was interviewed by a magazine, something that had been scheduled months in advance, and I denounced Pendragon Oil’s practices.  Uther fired me and cut all of our ties.”

“But Arthur—”

“I wasn’t finished,” Gaius replied.  Merlin shrunk back in his chair.  “Uther had been cold with Arthur, and I stepped in to nurture him.  Once Uther forced me out of their lives, Arthur and I would talk on the phone when Uther was away.  Once Arthur came to Albion, we started to meet in person again.  He had a very hard childhood, Merlin.  He believes that he is inherently unlovable.  He does not know everything that happened between his father and I, and believes that I abandoned him, just like his parents did.”

Merlin pursed his lips.  He hadn’t known that.  Arthur had never said.  He could tell that there were some hardships Arthur had faced.  He was too particular about the details of life around him to have had a purely happy childhood.  But for it to be that bad…

“If Arthur follows his usual pattern, he will not speak to you first.  You must reach out to him first.”

“What if I don’t want to reach out?” Merlin asked, still not looking at Gaius.  “He lied to me.  What if I don’t want to see him again?”

Gaius raised an eyebrow at him.  “Do you not want to see him again?”

Merlin sighed and swallowed the rest of his tea.  “I love him.  I’m just angry.”

Gaius nodded.  “Exactly.  Calm down first, and then talk to him.  Prove to him that you haven’t abandoned him.”

Merlin looked up at Gaius, finally, and nodded.  He could try to calm down.  He wasn’t sure how long it would take, but he could try.  
The whiskey helped.

A gold glint in the wall of tanks caught his eye.  Merlin glanced over; it was Gauis’s conspicuous angelfish.  It swam in slow circles, drawing Merlin’s eyes along with it.  It was beautiful.

“Uther gave you Alice, didn’t he?”  Merlin asked quietly.

Gaius looked up as well, staring at the fish with a small smile.  “Yes, he did.  It was a birthday present, just before we broke our ties.”

“It’s lived a long life,” Merlin commented, taking another biscuit.

Gaius nodded.  “Love goes a long way, Merlin.  I love Alice.  She thrives on my love for her.”  He chuckled and took a sip of his tea.  “I always felt that as long as Alice was alive, it meant there was a chance that Uther and I could make amends.” His smile dropped, and he looked at Merlin gravely. “I ruined the most important friendship I have ever had.  You have a chance to save your relationship with Arthur, but you can’t wait too long.”

Merlin couldn’t hold his gaze.  He looked down, staring at the top of Gauis’s desk.  He hadn’t noticed it before, but there was a picture of a younger Gaius, standing with Uther, and a little blond boy.  The boy had to be Arthur.

Merlin sighed.  He needed to talk to Arthur.  He’d been without him for less than an hour, and he already knew he couldn’t live without Arthur at his side.

But first, more whiskey.


	34. Arthur

Arthur knew Merlin was mad, even without having seen his face.  As the car drove away, he’d seen Merlin running in the opposite direction of his next lecture.  Merlin never missed lectures, even when Arthur tried to get him to stay in bed with him.  Merlin was late, sometimes, but never missed them completely.

Normally, Arthur would stay away from people when they were mad at him.  He spent a good portion of his childhood hiding under his bed or in the bathroom from tutors and nannies.  When Gwaine had gotten mad at him, he’d run to his room.

He shouldn’t be waiting outside of Merlin’s flat.  He shouldn’t be waiting for Merlin to come back from his class, or wherever he’d run to.

Arthur didn’t like confrontation, but he had to do it.  The longer Merlin went without an explanation, the angrier he would become.

There was always the possibility that Merlin would ignore him, and just hate Arthur for the rest of his life.  Arthur was expecting it, but he was hoping Merlin would listen.

He didn’t usually try to hope for a better outcome, but Merlin made him want it.  He needed Merlin.  He didn’t like needing people, or even things.  If what you needed was taken away, you’d be ruined.  If you can’t live without it, then you wouldn’t be able to live.  That was weakness.

Merlin made it so Arthur didn’t even care if he was weak.  He just needed Merlin.

He looked at his watch.  Merlin should be getting out of his lecture now.  He didn’t have to meet his father for dinner for another two hours.  Merlin took about five minutes to walk to his flat from his lecture.  He wouldn’t take longer than ten minutes.

Arthur had less than ten minutes to figure out how to explain everything to Merlin.  He’d have to tell Merlin about everything.  About his father, and how he felt about his father, and how he felt about everything.  He’d have to explain the survival instincts he’d been using since before he was in school.  He’d be exposing himself to Merlin more than he exposed himself to anyone else in his life.

He could do that, for Merlin.

If he started off with an apology, Merlin would probably listen to the rest of what he had to say.  He still might not, but it would be his best shot.  If he could just get Merlin to _listen_ , everything would eventually be all right.

He heard footsteps on the staircase.  They were quiet, and slow.  Arthur wasn’t sure if it was Merlin or not.  Merlin usually ran up the stairs.  But Merlin was upset.  He might not have the same amount of energy that he normally had.

Arthur pushed off from the wall and stood in the middle of the hallway.  He put his hands in his pockets and wished he wasn’t still wearing his suit.  He wanted to look like he normally did, instead of like his father’s son.  He still wanted to be Merlin’s Arthur.

Merlin reached the top of the stairs.  Arthur swallowed nervously, shifting from one foot to another.

Merlin looked up and met his eyes.  Merlin’s eyes were rimmed with red and he looked exhausted.  He looked like he did when he had too much work to sleep.  Arthur knew that Merlin had slept last night.  They’d both been at Merlin’s flat, and Merlin had fallen asleep first.

“What are you doing here?” Merlin asked hoarsely.  He’d only paused for a second when he saw Arthur, and then kept walking towards him.  Arthur swallowed again but held his ground.  He wished he could hold Merlin’s hand just to calm himself down.

“I wanted to explain,” he said quietly.  Merlin shouldered past him and dug around in his bag for his keys.  Arthur took a step towards him, so he was right next to Merlin.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Merlin.  I wanted to, but I thought you would hate me if you knew.”

“I don’t want to listen to you right now,” Merlin told him, his voice stronger than it had been before.  “I’m very angry right now and I can’t listen to you try to get back in my good graces.  I’ll let you know when I want you to explain.”

It wasn’t as good as Arthur hoped, but it was better than he expected.  But even a day without Merlin seemed like hell.  They hadn’t spent a day apart since they became friends.

“Can you please just listen?” Arthur asked, putting a hand on Merlin’s shoulder and trying to turn him so Arthur could face him.

Suddenly, Arthur was thrown back against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway.  His feet were dangling a few inches off the floor.  He tried to move, but he was stuck to the wall.

“Merlin!” He exclaimed, worried that whatever had attacked him with magic could attack Merlin next.  But Merlin was standing there, one hand still in his bag and the other stretched out towards Arthur.  His face was pale, sweat beading on his forehead.

Arthur’s eyes widened.  Did that mean… “You have magic?” He whispered, not wanting to believe it.  Magic users had deceived his father into trusting them before.  Had Merlin done the same to Arthur?

Merlin dropped his hand.  Arthur fell to the ground.  He tried to get up quickly, but Merlin was faster.  He put his key in the lock and wrenched the door open, and closed it just before Arthur reached the door.

“Merlin!” He shouted, banging on the door.   “Merlin, open this door!”

“No!” Merlin yelled back.  Arthur could tell that he was crying; it was obvious from how strangled his voice sounded.  “I told you I didn’t want to listen to you!”

“You’re the one that needs to explain now.  You have magic!  And you didn’t tell me!”

“You never told me your last name,” Merlin shouted through the door.  “You have more to explain than I do.”

Arthur pounded his fist once more on the door, but there was no response to give to that.  He _did_ have more to explain.  Most people that had magic hid it from everyone, except those they were close with.  Arthur wasn’t mad that Merlin had magic.  He was mad that Merlin hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him he had magic.

But on the other hand, Arthur hadn’t trusted Merlin enough to tell him his last name.

So he took a step back from the door and took a deep breath.  He could still hear Merlin crying on the other side.

“I don’t hate you,” he told Merlin, just loudly enough for it to get through the door.  Then he turned and went down the hallway.

He’d have to wait until Merlin was ready to listen to his explanation.  Trying to force it on him would just make everything worse.

Arthur still wondered if not telling Merlin had been the best way to handle this.


	35. Merlin

It had been a rough weekend.

It might not have been so bad if he hadn’t had plans.  Or at least, if he’d had plans that didn’t include Arthur.  All of his plans included Arthur.

This time, it had included the lube and condoms sitting on his desk, too.  He’d swept those into a drawer as soon as he’d noticed them.

He’d been prepared to trust Arthur with his virginity.  Arthur had been doing the same.  So why, if they trusted each other that much, did Arthur never say who he was?  They trusted each other.  You can’t love someone unless you trust them.

Unless you didn’t really love them.

Or maybe he overestimated how much trust goes into love.  Trust isn’t something that happens quickly, and their relationship had been nothing but quick.  Maybe they didn’t trust each other that much.

Merlin rolled over in bed and looked at the ceiling.  He had an hour until his first lecture of the day.  He had five hours until Marine Invertebrates.  Five hours until he had to face Arthur again.

He couldn’t do this.  He couldn’t face Arthur.

So he did the only thing he could think to do when he didn’t know which way to turn.  He called his mum.

She picked up on the first ring.  “Oh hello, Merlin!  I’d almost forgotten I had a son, without your Saturday phone call to remind me.”

Even though she was joking, Merlin could tell she was worried.  He never missed calling her.  “Sorry, Mum.  There were… things going on.”

“What things are those?  School work?”

Merlin sucked in a breath and let it out slowly.  “No.  Relationship things.”

He could sense her curiosity, despite the distance between them.  “A nice boy from Albion?”

“Well, he’s a boy from Albion,” Merlin replied, not sure if he could describe Arthur as ‘nice’ now.

That didn’t slip by his mum.  “What did he do?” She asked sternly, and he could hear her switching which side she held the phone to.  “Did he hit you?  Did he force himself on you?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Merlin replied quickly, sitting up a little in bed.  “No.  We, um, we met in a class, and got put together on a project.  I just found out on Friday that he was lying to me about… some things.”

“What’s his name?” she asked pointedly.

“Arthur Pendragon,” Merlin replied, and winced at the quick breath his mum had taken.

“Arthur _Pendragon_?  From Pendragon Oil?”

“Yeah,” Merlin replied quietly.  “His father runs the company.  I didn’t know who he was when we met, or when we started dating.”  He could feel tears well up in his eyes, and he sniffed to try and keep them from falling.  “He was lying to me, Mum.  He knew how I felt about the environment, and I thought he felt the same, but he was just lying to me.”

“Honey,” she said through the phone, using her most soothing voice.  Merlin wiped at his eyes.  “I’m sure he was just scared.  Aren’t you just as nervous about him finding out about your magic?”

Merlin swallowed nervously and didn’t respond.

“He found out already, hasn’t he.”

“Yes,” Merlin muttered.  “He grabbed my arm and my magic pushed him back.”

She sighed softly.  “All right.  I’m sure that’s fine.  How long have you two been…?”

“A month?” Merlin said weakly.  “But we were serious, Mum.  He said he loved me, and I love him, too.  I trusted him and everything was going perfectly until I found out about his family.”

“Then you shouldn’t let that tear you apart,” she told him.  “He was scared, of course, but I’m sure he was scared about hurting you as well.  Talk to him.  You can’t just let it all fester.  If nothing else, talking it out will give you some closure.”

That made Merlin whimper.  He didn’t want closure.  He didn’t want this to be over.  He wanted it to be last weekend, so none of this had happened.

“Honey, I have to go to work,” she told him soothingly.  “You can call me tonight if you need to talk again, okay?  Talk to some of your friends at Albion, I’m sure they’ll be able to help.”

“Yeah,” Merlin replied quietly.  “All right.  Love you, Mum.”

“Love you, too,” she told him, then disconnected the call.

Merlin sighed and dropped his phone on his chest.  “Would my professors care if I skipped class today?” Merlin asked Kilgarrah.

“Whether they would care or not makes no difference,” Kilgarrah replied, swimming as close to Merlin as he could.  “Your destiny, however, would not forgive you.”

Merlin chuckled and sat up in bed.  Kilgarrah always made him feel better.  “I still have a great destiny, even though I don’t have any friends?”

“Destiny does not rely on popularity,” Kilgarrah told him gravely.

Merlin nodded and swung his legs over the side of the bed.  “Thanks, Kilgarrah.  I’ll try to stop and get some feeders on the way home.”

Kilgarrah flicked his tail, but otherwise didn’t respond.  Merlin looked up and caught sight of himself in the mirror; he looked away quickly, before he could register how horrible he looked.  He knew he always looked horrible after he cried, and he’d done little but cry for the past two days.

Everything had settled into a sort of numbness now.  He didn’t want Arthur to ruin that for him.  He knew that if he saw Arthur, the barrier he’d managed to create between himself and his emotions would evaporate.  Talking with his mum had brought some of those feelings up, but it wasn’t as bad as seeing Arthur would be.  Gaius wouldn’t be too upset if Merlin skipped class.

But Kilgarrah had made an effort to cheer him up.  He had a destiny, even if he didn’t have Arthur.  He didn’t need Arthur.

Well, he didn’t need Arthur to fulfill his destiny.  Whatever his destiny was.

“I can fulfill my destiny without Arthur,” Merlin announced to his empty flat, standing up.  He started searching for a pair of clean pants, a small smile on his face.  He was feeling better now than he had been since Friday.

“He is your destiny,” Kilgarrah told him.  Merlin grit his teeth and turned to his axolotl.

“Are you telling me that I can’t do anything by myself?”  He demanded, stalking over to the tank.  “I need Arthur to fulfill _my_ destiny?  It’s all based around him?”

“He is your destiny, just as you are his.  Your futures are intertwined.  Your destiny is to help him achieve his destiny.  He cannot do it without you.”

“What is his destiny?” Merlin asked, still disgruntled, but a little appeased.

“He will save us all.”

Merlin stared at Kilgarrah for a moment, then blinked.  He nodded, turned to put on some clothes, then looked back at Kilgarrah.  “He’s going to save the world?  Arthur is?”

Kilgarrah bobbed his head.  “He will save us, and he needs you to do it.”

Merlin nodded again and picked up his bag.  “Right, well.  His destiny’s going to have to wait.”

“It will not wait forever,” Kilgarrah called to Merlin as he reached the door to his flat.  “You must forgive Arthur, or I fear for the future of our world.”

“I’ll forgive him when _I_ want to,” Merlin retorted, pulling the door open and stepping into the hallway.  “Destiny can wait until then, and if it wants to blame someone, it can blame him.”

He slammed the door so that Kilgarrah couldn’t reply.  He knew what Kilgarrah would say anyway.  He’d just say that Merlin needed to forgive Arthur, and everything rested on him, and it wasn’t even really his destiny.

All along, the great destiny Kilgarrah had told him about, the one that kept him going when he just wanted to give up, was helping Arthur.  That was it.  Arthur was the one who was going to save everyone, not Merlin.  What would Arthur need Merlin for, anyway?  To give him blowjobs so that Arthur would be happy?  Merlin was studying oceanography.  He wouldn’t be useful in any world-saving.

Arthur would be better off with someone else helping him.  If Merlin didn’t do it, destiny would find someone else, and everything would just be better for it.

Arthur doesn’t need Merlin.  He had proven that already.  Arthur doesn’t need Merlin, and he never would.

Merlin’s first two classes passed in that same vein.  He barely paid enough attention to take notes.  He just kept thinking about what Kilgarrah said, and Arthur.  Always Arthur.  He hadn’t been able to escape him since they met, and it seemed like he never would be able to.

Arriving in Marine Invertebrates only solidified that thought.

Even though Merlin was relatively early, there was only one empty seat.  It was next to Arthur.

Destiny sure had a sick sense of humor.

Merlin slid into the seat, turning slightly away from Arthur in the hopes that Arthur wouldn’t realize it was him.

“Merlin,” Arthur said quietly.  Merlin barely resisted sighing; was destiny ever going to give him a break?  He just ignored Arthur and hoped he’d get the message.

“I know I said I’d wait for you to want to talk,” Arthur continued, obviously not discouraged.  “But I didn’t get a chance to say I was sorry.”

Merlin wanted to look at Arthur, just to see what his expression was like.  Would he be expressionless, like when he was walking with Uther, or full of heart, like Merlin normally saw him?  He didn’t want to see the former, so he didn’t look.  He couldn’t imagine how he would react if Arthur was apologizing without any emotion.

“I was wrong to keep it from you, and I wish that I hadn’t.  I was scared to tell you about… everything.  I know you’re angry, but I’m not going to give up on us.”

Merlin wanted to laugh, and then cry, and then laugh again.  Arthur had given up the minute he decided that he wasn’t going to tell Merlin his last name.

Thankfully, before Arthur could continue or Merlin could lose his cool, Gaius called the class to attention.  Merlin focused intently on what Gaius was saying, in the hopes that he wouldn’t notice how Arthur was staring at him.

He remembered how Arthur used to stare at him in class, trying to figure out how to talk to him.  He had just wanted Merlin not to hate him.

In a way, they were back at that point.  Arthur didn’t know what to say to fix everything, and Merlin was resisting everything being fixed.

Class seemed to drag on, and to pass in the blink of an eye.  As soon as Gaius closed his folder of notes for the lecture, Merlin popped out of his seat and shoved his notebook and pen into his bag.  He darted down the stairs of the lecture hall before Arthur could even open his mouth.

When he got to the door, steps ahead of everyone else, he couldn’t help but glance back.  He hadn’t wanted to see Arthur’s expression when they were so close, but it would be easier to handle, now.  He was farther from it, physically if not emotionally.  Arthur was staring at the empty seat at his side, his hair hanging over his eyes.  He was frozen, his hand still around his pen.

Merlin bit his lip, then turned and ran out of the room.

Arthur said he wouldn’t give up on them, but Merlin was not yet ready to give in.


	36. Arthur

They were right back where they started.

Arthur stared at Merlin’s seat.  The one Merlin had jumped out of so that Arthur wouldn’t talk to him anymore.  The one Merlin had happily occupied less than a week ago. Merlin had always loved being by Arthur’s side, and Arthur had loved being by his.

Now they were back to their stilted relationship at the beginning of the year, when Merlin had hated Arthur and didn’t want anything to do with him.  Arthur had been able to fix that; he should be able to fix this, too.

He knew the situations weren’t the same.  One was a stupid argument based on Arthur’s ignorance, and the other was a huge lie based on Arthur’s insecurities.  But if he didn’t give himself some hope, he wasn’t sure what he’d have to cling to.

“Arthur,” Gaius called to him, breaking him out of his trance.  He looked around, and noticed that everyone else in the class had left.  How long had he been sitting there, staring at a chair?  “Come to my office with me.”

Arthur didn’t even question it.  He stood, packed up his notebook and pens, and followed Gaius into the hall.  They didn’t speak.  Arthur didn’t want to talk to anyone but Merlin, and Gaius obviously sensed his mood.  It was almost like magic.

Gaius ushered him into his office and into a chair in front of his desk.  Arthur sat silently, watching some of the fish swim in their tanks on the walls.

Gaius put water into the kettle and flicked it on.  The next time Arthur looked over at him, he was pouring near-boiling water into two cups.  He frowned slightly; had he zoned out for that long?  Water shouldn’t be able to boil that fast.

But tea, especially tea with whiskey, was more important than fast-boiling water.  So he took a sip and sighed.

“I talked to Merlin on Friday,” Gaius said, when it became obvious that Arthur was not going to start a conversation.  “After the protest.”

Arthur gripped his cup tighter.  He didn’t need to hear about how upset Merlin was.  He knew it for himself.

“He was on the verge of a panic attack when I saw him.  I brought him here and made him tea.  I calmed him down.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Arthur asked, staring down at his tea instead of looking at Gaius.  “I know he’s upset.  I went to his flat to try to talk to him.”

Gaius raised an eyebrow.  Arthur didn’t need to look at him to know what expression he was making.  “You don’t usually do that, when you feel you’ve been rejected.”

Arthur pressed his lips together firmly.  Gaius knew him _too_ well, it seemed.  He’d never told anyone about the thoughts he had when people were angry with him.  It had taken him years to figure it out for himself, and to realize why he did it.

“I told Merlin he would need to reach out to you first.  He said he would do it when he was ready.”

“So I rushed him,” Arthur snapped.  “I figured that out already, from how he pushed me into a wall with magic.”

“He didn’t tell you about his magic?”

Arthur looked up at him and scowled.  “He told _you_ but he didn’t tell me?”

“I guessed, after he mentioned his talking axolotl.”

“A talking animal means the owner has magic?” Arthur asked, switching tracks.  “I’ve talked to Kilgarrah, too, but I didn’t know it meant…”

“Not in all cases,” Gaius replied.  “It is more the manner of communication.  He shared that his axolotl tells him of his destiny.  Kilgarrah has latched onto him, which usually indicates a magical owner.  There was no way for you to know, without having studied sorcerer-familiar relationships.”

“And you have?” Arthur demanded, clenching his mug even tighter.

Gaius nodded.  “I have, considering I have a familiar myself.”

“But that would mean you have magic,” Arthur replied, laughing slightly.  “You don’t have magic.”

Gaius raised an eyebrow again.  Arthur stopped laughing.

“How long have you had magic?”

“Since long before you were born.  When Alice became my familiar, Uther became angry.  I had promised not to bring my magic into our friendship after your mother’s death.  I broke that promise when I used his gift as a familiar.”

Arthur nodded slowly.  “That’s why you left.  It wasn’t because you didn’t want me bothering you.”  Gaius already knew about his thoughts on abandonment, so there was no harm in stating them.  In fact, it felt… good.  It felt like a weight that he hadn’t even noticed existed had been lifted off his shoulders.

Gaius set his tea cup to the side and leaned forward over his desk.  “Arthur, you believe yourself to be the root of the world’s problems.  You are not.  Your mother was taken away in an accident, and your father withdrew from your life because of grief.  I was driven away by my mistakes, and I tried to keep in contact as much I could.  None of us chose to leave you.”

“Merlin is choosing to leave me,” Arthur replied, unsurprised when he felt tears pricking at his eyes.  “You might not have, but Merlin is.”

“Merlin is angry,” Gaius reminded him.  “I believe he has not decided what he wants to do yet.  He told me he loves you, Arthur.  Merlin is not the kind of person who will toss that away easily.”

“But what if he decides to leave?”

“Arthur,” Gaius said, exasperated.  “You cannot be so negative!  You have to believe in Merlin, and in his heart.”

Arthur knew, despite the magic, despite the small lie Merlin had told, that he believed in Merlin.  He believed that Merlin knew what was best for the both of them.

So Arthur nodded.  “I’m not mad that you didn’t tell me about magic.  Or that Merlin didn’t.  I just…”

“You trusted him,” Gaius finished.  “It is understandable, to feel your trust was betrayed.”

Arthur nodded emphatically.  “Exactly!  I don’t mind that he has magic, it seems like things might be easier with that anyway.  Laundry, and dishes, and things.  If he’d just told me, I wouldn’t have been mad at all.”

“I don’t know why he kept it a secret.  I believe that’s something Merlin will have to tell you himself.”  Gaius picked up his tea again and drained it.  “I once read in a book, that… it said, ‘At some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant.  The fact that you kept it does not.’”

Arthur nodded slowly.  “That makes sense.  It makes a lot of sense.”  He looked up at Gaius.  “Do you think that’s how Merlin feels, too?”

Gaius smiled at him.  The soft, gentle smile Arthur remembered from his childhood, when Gaius would tell him why he shouldn’t throw his soda bottle into the river.  For once, the memory wasn’t tinged with despair.

Arthur smiled back.  It felt uncomfortable, like he hadn’t smiled like this in too long.  Normally only Merlin could bring out this smile in him, and he hadn’t been able to smile with Merlin in four days.  How quickly Merlin had become this integral part of his life, and changed how Arthur saw himself.

So what if they’d moved fast?  It didn’t mean it was madness.  He loved Merlin, and it didn’t make a difference how long it had taken for them to fall in love.

Now, he needed to get Merlin back.


	37. Merlin

“Destiny will not be stalled, young warlock,” Kilgarrah exclaimed from his tank.  Merlin had thrown a shirt over him half an hour into Kilgarrah’s scolding.  This time, Kilgarrah wouldn’t stop.

“It’s Arthur’s destiny, not mine,” he replied shortly.  Merlin was lying on his back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, with his laptop blared a playlist of breakup songs he’d found on Youtube.

“It is your shared destiny,” Kilgarrah said, for probably the tenth time.  “You and Arthur must work together to achieve it.”

“But it’s _Arthur’s_ destiny.  My destiny is to help him.”

“Young warlock, remove this darkness from my home!”  Kilgarrah thundered.  He sounded ridiculous, with his voice so high because of his miniscule vocal cords.  “If I am to convince you, I must be able to see you!”

Merlin groaned and rolled onto his side so he could pull the shirt off the tank.  “Better?”

Kilgarrah narrowed his eyes at him.  “I am less displeased than I was before.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and went back to staring at the ceiling.

Both of them were silent for a while.  Merlin tapped his fingers along to the beat of the song that had come up.

“You must continue to proceed towards your destiny,” Kilgarrah said suddenly.

Merlin shot up in bed and twisted to glare at Kilgarrah.  “You know what?  I am sick of this!  You have absolutely no appreciation for what I’m going through!  I just found out my boyfriend has been lying to me since we met, and that his family is one of the world’s greatest enemies!  _And_ , as if that wasn’t enough, the destiny I’ve believed in for years isn’t even my destiny!  So stop telling me to ‘follow my destiny’ and everything because I DON’T CARE!”

Merlin sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm down, and then let it out in a whoosh.  “The world can destroy itself for all I care.”

“Destiny will not allow you to halt its progress in such a way.”

“I just want everything to be the way it was on Wednesday,” he muttered, throwing an arm over his eyes.  “Arthur and I were happy, and everything was going perfectly.  Why can’t I just go back in time and get Arthur to tell me then?”

“Are you still angry with him?” Kilgarrah asked, seeming to play along with Merlin’s shift in conversation.  That immediately made Merlin suspicious; Kilgarrah didn’t like participating in a conversation unless he was running it.

Merlin was about to answer “Yes” immediately, then he paused.  Was he still angry with Arthur?  Sure, he still felt betrayed that Arthur hadn’t told him.  But angry…

He definitely wasn’t mad that Arthur was a Pendragon.  Once the shock had worn off, he realized that it really didn’t matter.  He’d been able to sense that Arthur’s beliefs about the environment were really what he believed, and not just lies to get Merlin to like him.  He would have sensed that it was a lie if it was.

He was mad that Arthur had lied, but not _that_ mad.  He wasn’t mad enough to justify ignoring Arthur.  He didn’t really need to justify it, though.  Did he?

He wanted to ask Kilgarrah, but Kilgarrah would say yes.  He knew how Merlin felt, often times better than Merlin himself knew.  The bastard.

So Merlin shut his mouth.  He sighed and closed his eyes.

He was mad about how much he depended on Arthur.  No one should need another person that much.  It wasn’t healthy.  It was madness.

He’d heard things about co-dependency before.  You needed someone so much that you couldn’t survive without them.  Merlin wanted to believe he could survive without Arthur, but he wasn’t sure he could.  He needed to prove to himself that he didn’t need Arthur for anything.

He didn’t need Arthur to be happy, or successful in school, or have friends.  It didn’t matter that Merlin didn’t really have other friends.  Outside of Will and Lance, he’d only had Kilgarrah back in Ealdor.

He didn’t need Arthur.

Really, he didn’t.

“Need is not a despicable state of being,” Kilgarrah told him.  Merlin heaved a sigh.

“So you know the answers to everything, then?”

“I do not know everything, young warlock, though I do have knowledge greater than yours.  I have seen many things in my life.  There are many types of relationships that are dangerous, but yours is not.  When a connection between two people is strong, separation becomes uncomfortable.  It is the sense of being incomplete.”

Merlin was silent.  Kilgarrah was explaining it perfectly.  He felt like a part of himself was missing.  His magic was swirling around inside of him wildly, bemoaning the loss.  It all made sense.

“There is an ancient belief that, when humans first began to populate the world, two bodies would be connected, and work together in perfect harmony.  But they became too powerful, too harmonious, and vengeful gods split them into two halves, forever destined to be searching for their other half.  Merlin, you have found your other half.”

“That’s why my destiny is to help Arthur,” he murmured, talking more to himself than Kilgarrah.  “If we’d never been split into two, it would be _our_ destiny.  He needs me to help him.”

“Arthur relies more on you than you do on him,” Kilgarrah replied.  “But the two of you need each other equally, if in different ways.  You are two sides of the same coin.  One cannot exist without the other.”

Merlin nodded.  “All right.”  He paused for a moment, then nodded again.  “What should I do now?”

He knew the answer before Kilgarrah even said it.  “Speak with Arthur.  Allow yourself to forgive him.”

Merlin sighed softly.  “I have to forgive him?”  He flopped his head to the side to look at Kilgarrah.

“Yes,” Kilgarrah answered simply.  Merlin took out his phone and stared down at it.  He had three missed calls, and two texts.

They were all from Arthur.  Arthur, with the little heart next to his name that Arthur had jokingly added and Merlin hadn’t wanted to delete.

Arthur, whom Merlin was apparently destined to be with.  It should irk him, that destiny had decided he couldn’t be trusted to find his own boyfriend.  But Arthur was his reward, and that was enough.

Not that Arthur was his right now.

What was he going to do about that?  They hadn’t officially broken up.  They’d just shouted through a door.  Technically they were still dating.  So if he decided to change that, it would mean breaking up with Arthur.

Maybe they could just… go back to being friends.  Just so Merlin could get a handle on the turn his life had taken.  His destiny had always seemed to be such an abstract idea, and now that it was here, it was daunting.

He didn’t want to rush right back in to this relationship with Arthur.  That would put them back at the same place they had been before: love, but no trust.  They needed to work up to it.  Which they should have done the first time, but they had a chance now, to fix it.  Merlin could make this right for the both of them.

He pressed the call button.

Arthur picked up on the first ring, like he’d been staring at his phone.  “Merlin?”  He sounded a little out of breath.

Merlin paused, then replied, “Arthur.”

“I’m sorry I called you before,” Arthur said in a rush.  “I was just going to call you once, and then you didn’t answer, and I was worried something happened—”

“Nothing happened to me,” Merlin replied.  All right, that was a lie. They shouldn’t start over with more lies.  “Well, nothing hurt me.”  Now, the moment of truth.  “Can you come over?  I’m ready to listen.”

Arthur chuckled slightly.  Merlin smiled; it was great to hear that sound again, after a weekend without.  “Actually, I’m outside.  I was worried.  I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Merlin got up and went over to the window, sticking his head out to look down at the door to the building.  Arthur was standing there, his phone to his ear.  He smiled, blinding despite how far away he was, and waved at Merlin.  Merlin smiled and waved back.

“Come up here,” Merlin said into the phone, then hung up.  Arthur was still grinning as he put his phone in his pocket and opened the door.

Merlin only stepped away from his window when the door had closed behind Arthur.

A fresh start.


	38. Arthur

Arthur clasped his hands in his lap.  Merlin shifted next to him.  Kilgarrah swallowed one of the feeders Arthur had picked up for him.  He was sure they would be able to hear the clock ticking, if Merlin owned a clock.

When he’d looked up and seen Merlin smiling down at him from the window, he’d thought that everything would be back to normal.  And if not normal, at least be _easier_.  Everything between them had been so easy in the past, as instinctual as breathing.  Arthur didn’t like sitting here, next to Merlin, on his bed, with no idea what to do or say.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my family,” Arthur settled on, after a long silence.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Merlin dip his head down so his chin almost rested on his chest.  He wanted to turn and look at Merlin, but he didn’t want to upset this tenuous balance between them.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Merlin asked.  He didn’t sound as angry as Arthur had expected.  Well, he’d had the weekend to calm down a little, and reason through it.  Maybe he’d be more willing to trust Arthur again.

“I was scared that you wouldn’t like me because of my father’s stance on the environment.”

Merlin nodded.  Arthur wondered if that hadn’t happened anyway.

“I understand why you’d be afraid of that,” Merlin acknowledged.  Arthur swallowed nervously.  “I don’t approve of your father’s position, but I know that you don’t have the same position as he does.”

Arthur let out the breath he’d been holding.  Merlin wasn’t blaming him.  Well, he wasn’t blaming him for his father.  If Arthur had known Merlin felt that way, he would have told him before any of this had to happen.

He should have just told Merlin.  He should have trusted that Merlin wouldn’t just hate him out of hand.

It was amazing, sometimes, how quickly someone could change.  Arthur felt different than he was on Friday, when he’d let all of this happen.  He’d been too scared to face Merlin head on, and instead let the world take care of revealing everything.  He couldn’t leave everything up to chance.

Merlin was too important for that.

“I always felt that people would grow tired of me and leave,” Arthur admitted, staring down at his hands.  “You’re the only one that hadn’t done it yet, and I thought it was only a matter of time.  I thought that finding out about my family would be the final straw.  I wasn’t ready to be unhappy again, so I wanted as much time as possible before you found out.”

“Gaius told me,” Merlin murmured.  “He said you think that people abandon you, even when they didn’t choose to.”  He sighed softly, and Arthur looked over at him.  “I’m not going to abandon you, Arthur.  I know that’s what it seemed like, but I’m not going to.  I was just angry, and I didn’t want to make a mistake because I was angry.”

Arthur nodded, and offered Merlin a small smile.  Merlin smiled back.

“I’m not mad that you have magic,” he told Merlin.  “I was surprised, but it doesn’t change anything.  You’re still… Merlin.”

“And I’m not mad that you’re a Pendragon,” Merlin replied.  “I was angry you didn’t tell me.”

Arthur nodded again, and smiled wider.  “So.  Are we… all right then?  Everything’s sorted?”  He moved his hand over a few centimeters, resting it on top of Merlin’s.

Merlin pulled his hand away.  Arthur’s heart sank.

“I think that, before, we moved too fast,” Merlin said quietly, not looking at him.  “We got caught up in everything, and it moved too fast.”

“You want to go slowly,” Arthur guessed, hoping it wasn’t more than that.

Merlin looked at him then, a small, sad smile on his face.  “I think we should go back to being friends.  So we can... restart, I guess.  At least for me, I know that I was so swept up in being with you that I didn’t even think there was something wrong with not knowing your last name.  I want this to be able to work, and I think we need to know each other, first.”

Arthur nodded.  “I know.  We always said that we knew who the other is, because we spent so much time together, but…”

“I didn’t know who you were before I met you,” Merlin finished.  “I didn’t know about those abandonment feelings until Gaius told me.”

Arthur smiled weakly.  “Yeah, you were more open than I was.  I should have told you more about me.”

Merlin sighed and shook his head.  “Arthur, I’m not blaming this on you.  It was both of our faults.  I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t say anything.  I should have said something, too.”

“Can I tell you now?” Arthur asked after a moment.  “Can I tell you about my childhood, and my family?”

Merlin nodded and leaned back on his bed, settling in.  Arthur did the same.  “Of course, Arthur.  I can tell you about my mum, too.”

Arthur smiled and looked up at the ceiling.  “My mother died when I was four.  No one ever told me how she died.  I figured out it was a magical accident years later.  After she died, my father didn’t have time for me anymore.  He just worked all the time.  Every so often he’d check in on me, but he never came to award ceremonies or anything.  He was working in his office the day that I graduated, and the day I moved in to my flat.”

Merlin looked down.

As he continued speaking, Arthur’s smile faded.  He hadn’t told anyone about this before.  “I’d eat dinner by myself every night, and I’d usually be asleep before my father came home.  My father had cut ties with most of our family, and I didn’t have that many friends at school.  They were afraid of angering me, because they thought I would tell my father and he would find a way to ruin them.  Some people befriended me to further their parents’ careers.”

Merlin wiped the back of his hand over his eyes, to clear away any tears.  That’s when Arthur realized that he was crying, too.  Telling someone all of this made him relive it, and he had hardly been able to live it once.

“I had a fish, Gwen.  I told her about what happened at school, because there was no one else to tell.  She died just before the beginning of the summer.”  He started crying harder, his voice hitching every other word.  “Her empty tank’s still in my room.  When I went to the pet store that day that we met, I was looking for another fish, but I couldn’t replace her yet.”

Merlin sniffled and looked up at Arthur again.  “Kilgarrah can be both of ours.  And you don’t need to get another fish so that someone will listen to you.  You have me, now.”

That was what broke Arthur.  Tears streamed down his cheeks unchecked, his shoulders shaking as he cried.  Merlin slipped his skinny arms around Arthur’s shoulders and pulled him closer.  Arthur leaned against him, soaking in Merlin’s warmth through his thin t-shirt.  Arthur could feel Merlin’s tears soaking into his shirt, and he brought his own arms up to wrap around Merlin.

Arthur wasn’t sure how long they sat like that.  Time always seemed to pass differently when he was with Merlin, and this was no different.  Eventually, they both calmed down.

Arthur didn’t want to let go of Merlin, but when Merlin started to pull back, Arthur did as well.  He didn’t want to make Merlin uncomfortable.

“I grew up with my mum,” Merlin told Arthur.  “My father left right after I was born.  Mum never told me why, and we never heard from him.  I spent a lot of time with my neighbor, Will.  Ealdor’s small, and I had to ride my bike to the next town for school.  I met Lance there.  We dated,” he said shortly.  “We didn’t do much.  We broke up at the end of the year, decided to stay as friends, instead.  My mum came to my graduation, and helped me move in.  Will did, too, because his uni started later.”

Arthur smiled softly.  “Was your village nice?”

Merlin chuckled.  “Small is an understatement.  The same families have been living there for centuries.  Every so often, someone with magic would be born.  No one made a fuss, as long as no one got hurt and all the crops grew well.”

Arthur laughed as well.  “I grew up in Camelot.  I’m sure it’s the exact opposite of Ealdor.”

Merlin nodded.  “Yeah, I bet it is.  Anyway, Kilgarrah was a present, just came in the mail one day.  There wasn’t a return address or anything.”  He looked over at Kilgarrah, who had started making lazy laps of his tank.  “I like to think that my dad sent him, from wherever he is.”

“Do you want to find him?”  Arthur asked, staring at Merlin’s profile.  “I lived without my mother, but if I knew she was out there somewhere, nothing would stop me from finding her.”

“I don’t want to think that he left because he didn’t want us,” Merlin murmured.  “I always imagined there was some quest he had to go on, or some reason like that, that made it impossible for him to stay.  I think I’d like to know for sure, though.”

Arthur smiled slightly.  “I’ll help you find him.  I’m sure your mum will, too, if you ask.”

Merlin looked over at Arthur.  “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Merlin smiled fondly, his eyes red-rimmed and welling with tears again.  Arthur thought he’d never looked more beautiful.  “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Arthur replied.

“Kilgarrah said I was meant to help you,” Merlin said, glancing back at his axolotl.  “I guess it goes both ways.”

“Meant to help me?” Arthur asked, eyebrow twitching up.

Merlin chuckled sheepishly. “He always tells me about my destiny, right?  Apparently my destiny is to help you achieve yours, and your destiny is to save the world.”

Arthur drew back a little, his jaw dropping.  “I’m supposed to save the world?  The whole world?”

Merlin laughed loudly.  “According to Kilgarrah, at least.”

“Way to put pressure on a bloke,” Arthur muttered.  He was barely able to keep a steady relationship, and apparently couldn’t, and he was expected to save the world?  How was he supposed to do that?

“You have me to help you,” Merlin reminded him.

“Oh, that takes all my worries away,” he replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice.  Merlin laughed out loud, his eyes bright.

As sarcastic as he had been, knowing that Merlin would be by his side _did_ take all his worries away.


	39. Merlin

“I wish this project could just be over already,” Merlin groaned, rolling over onto his back.  They had printed sheets of their finished slides scattered on the floor, and were making notes on it as they went through.

Arthur glanced over at him, then back at the slide he was making notes on.  “There’s less than a week left, Merlin.”

“I know,” he responded, staring up at Arthur’s ceiling.  The plaster was a lot less cracked than his was, and the white paint was a lot brighter.  “Can’t I just speed time up or something?  Everything’s pretty much done.”

“Not exactly.  We still need to figure out our recommendations, and work on the flow of our presentation, and then practice a few times.  And we need to think of some possible questions people will have, so that we can answer them thoroughly.”

Merlin closed his eyes and didn’t move.  He hoped Arthur would just keep working and ignore him if he didn’t draw his attention.  Then Arthur kicked his foot, and his hopes were dashed.

“Merlin, the harder we work, the faster we’ll be done.  Besides, didn’t you want help with your maths?  We won’t have time for that if we don’t finish this.”

Merlin sighed heavily and grabbed a random sheet from near his hip and held it above his head so he could read it.  It was a graph of the income from companies that shifted to environmentally conscious methods, to show the change.  He tried to read it, but he couldn’t really focus on it.

He was focusing on Arthur.  He thought that Arthur couldn’t possibly be more distracting than when he was actively trying to get Merlin’s clothes off when they were supposed to be studying, but he was wrong.  Instead, Arthur doing his work intently and respecting Merlin’s wish to be friends, was much more distracting.

It had only been two days since they agreed to start over as friends, and Merlin already regretted it.  There was that saying, that you want something more when you can’t have it.  Merlin could say it was definitely true.

He glanced at Arthur out of the corner of his eye.  Arthur was still studying the sheet of paper in his hands, a little furrow between his eyebrows and his reading glasses perched on his nose.  It shouldn’t be as erotic as it was.  All Merlin could think of was Arthur staring down at him like that, figuring out the best way to take Merlin apart.

He shivered, and tried to put his attention back on their project.  It didn’t work.

“I can tell you aren’t actually reading that, you know,” Arthur told him.  Merlin looked over at him quickly; Arthur was peering at him from over the top of his paper, reading glasses perched on his nose.  “You’re smiling.  You’d never be smiling if you were actually looking at that graph.”

“For your information,” Merlin replied haughtily, “I think that… ‘company income based on environmental conscientiousness’ is _very_ interesting.”

Arthur scoffed.  “Just admit you were thinking about something else.”

“No!  I wasn’t thinking about anything else!” Merlin replied, sitting up quickly.  He didn’t think Arthur would pry, but he wasn’t really sure now.  The Arthur from before all this wouldn’t have demanded the truth.  But now, with this emphasis on truth in their relationship, Arthur might insist on it.

Merlin wasn’t prepared to share something like this with Arthur, not when they’d just gotten back on the right track.

“I bet you were thinking about how much you’d like to read over the slides of business figures,” Arthur replied, and handed a thick stack of papers to Merlin.  He groaned and took them, then put them on top of his head.

Arthur shook his head, but he was laughing, so Merlin grinned.

“I can’t believe you,” Arthur said, putting his papers to the side.  He was still smiling, so Merlin knew he wasn’t mad.  “You’re going to drop those, and mess up the order!”

“I can balance these on my head, no problem,” Merlin protested, holding his arms out to the sides, instead gripping the papers.  As soon as he let go, of course, the papers slid off of his head and fluttered down around him.

Arthur burst out laughing, and Merlin couldn’t help but do the same.  Arthur rarely laughed so freely, even with Merlin, and it was intoxicating every time.  Merlin loved getting that laugh from Arthur.

“How did that happen so quickly?” Arthur exclaimed, when he managed to regain a little control.  Merlin shrugged his shoulders, dislodging the last few pages on his head.

“It’s my natural charm,” he replied easily.  Arthur snorted, and Merlin mock-pouted at him.  “Are you saying I don’t have any charm?”

“I’m saying that a donkey has more charm than you.”

Merlin took a handful of the papers next to him and shoved them into Arthur’s face.  When the papers fell away, Arthur’s face was filled with shock.  Merlin giggled, even though that was a pretty embarrassing sound to make.

Then suddenly, Arthur launched himself across the spread of papers and tackled Merlin to the ground.  Merlin yelped, landing on his back amid the papers.  Arthur was laughing, free and uninhibited, as the papers fluttered around them.  Merlin started laughing too, his stomach aching and his eyes watering with how hard he was laughing.

Then the papers settled on the ground, and everything was still.

Arthur was braced above Merlin on his hands and knees, his face inches from Merlin’s.  Merlin’s hands were on Arthur’s shoulders; a defense reaction, he was sure.

His fingers tightened in Arthur’s shirt.  Arthur stared into Merlin’s eyes, and Merlin stared back.  His lips parted slightly, and Arthur’s gaze darted down to rest on his mouth.

Merlin barely had time to close his eyes before Arthur’s mouth descended on his.  It felt like flying, and being grounded at the same time.  It was exhilarating and new, but like coming home after a long absence.

Arthur’s lips were as chapped as ever, and firm.  Merlin had missed this.

He moved his hands from Arthur’s shoulders to his back, his fingers digging into the muscles in the way that both of them loved.  Arthur made a sound in the back of his throat and pressed his lips harder to Merlin’s.

They opened their mouths simultaneously, their tongues meeting in the middle.  Merlin flicked his tongue against Arthur’s, teasing and light, before Arthur utterly dominated Merlin’s mouth.

Merlin’s mouth welcomed its new king wholeheartedly.

Arthur tore his mouth away and pressed kisses to the side of Merlin’s neck.  Merlin tossed his head back, and barely even felt when the back of his head hit the floor.  Arthur started sucking lightly, then harder, then scraped his teeth against it.

“Arthur,” Merlin groaned, bending one of his legs at the knee to rub against Arthur’s slowly.

One moment, Arthur was pressed against him and sucking a bruise into Merlin’s neck; the next, he was sitting a meter away, his eyes wide and chest heaving.

Suddenly, Merlin came back to himself.  He remembered all the reasons why that had been a colossally bad idea, despite all the pleasurable evidence to the contrary.  They were friends now.  Friends didn’t make out on the floor amongst research for their project.

“Sorry,” Arthur said after a minute.  Merlin nodded and kept his eyes on the paper carpeting the floor, instead of looking at Arthur.  “I… I didn’t think.  Sorry.”

“I didn’t stop you,” Merlin blurted out.  He could feel Arthur staring at him, but he still didn’t look at him.  “You don’t need to apologize.”

“Right.  Well.”  Arthur cleared his throat, and then started sorting through the papers.  Merlin sifted through the papers closest to him, careful to keep his hands away from Arthur’s.

He really regretted his decision to just be friends.  He still had Arthur by his side, but he didn’t have _Arthur_.  The difference between the two was as big as the difference between Arthur and Arthur Pendragon.

He missed Arthur, even when he was sitting right beside him.

“This is a huge mess, even for you,” Arthur said quietly, after a couple minutes of silent sorting.

“Dollophead,” Merlin muttered in response.  Arthur chuckled, but it was strained.  Merlin smiled, but he knew it was weak.

He had Arthur back.  But he didn’t have _his_ Arthur back.


	40. Arthur

“You remembered our appointment this time,” Merlin declared when Gaius opened the door to his office at 3 in the afternoon.  Arthur chuckled, and Merlin glanced over at him with a smile.

Gaius looked supremely unimpressed.  “Yes, yes, get inside.  I do have other work to do today besides checking in with you.  Sophia informed me earlier that she’ll most likely come here in tears before evening.”

Arthur felt bad about laughing, but he couldn’t help it.  Sophia had taken Marine Invertebrates in the hopes of being in the same class as Arthur, but had wound up in a different section.  Besides, Arthur would have switched to a different class if he’d been in the same one as Sophia.

“Have a seat,” Gaius offered, clearing a pile of books off of one of the chairs.  He stacked them on the floor next to his desk and flicked his fingers at the tea kettle.  The water inside immediately started to boil.

Arthur grinned when the bottle of whiskey Gaius kept in his desk made an appearance.  Merlin chuckled as well.

“I see that the two of you have settled your differences,” Gaius said, studying them both.  Arthur’s cheeks flamed red, thinking back to how he’d almost ruined the peace between them.  He knew that kiss on Saturday had been a mistake, but he couldn’t make himself regret it.

Merlin smiled and nodded, but Arthur still couldn’t form an answer.  So Merlin said, “Yeah, we talked it out.  Everything’s fine, now.”  
Fine.  Not good, or great.  Fine.  Did that mean that Merlin felt as lonely as Arthur did?

“I’m glad to hear it,” Gaius replied, taking out three small glasses instead of tea cups and pouring some of the whiskey into each.

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked, completely shocked.  It was one thing to give spiked tea to them when they were upset, but entirely different to give them straight whiskey for no apparent reason.

“It’s a celebration,” Gaius explained, picking up a glass.  Arthur and Merlin reached for their own glasses; there wasn’t much in them, and Arthur didn’t think it was worth arguing over.  Especially when Merlin was trying to keep himself from giggling.  It didn’t work, but Arthur didn’t tell him that.

“Now,” Gaius said, after taking a sip of his whiskey.  Arthur followed suit, then blinked rapidly at the burn.  God, it tasted a lot weaker when it was mixed with tea.  Merlin spluttered, and Arthur chuckled.  Merlin smacked him in the arm, and Arthur laughed harder.

“I’m beginning to regret giving you two alcohol,” Gaius muttered, and shot back the rest of his own.  “Now,” he said again, bringing the two of them to full attention. “How close are you to finishing your project?”

“We just have to do our final recommendations, and format the works cited and works consulted,” Arthur replied.  He took a couple of pieces of paper out from his bag, and handed them to Gaius.  “We have a list of what we’re going to recommend, but we just need to figure out our rating system, and which ones we’d rate higher.”

Gaius nodded thoughtfully, reading through the products listed.  Arthur glanced at Merlin; Merlin smiled reassuringly at him, and Arthur smiled back.  Both of them were nervous that some figure or word had gotten messed up, and their recommendations wouldn’t be right.

Then Gaius handed back the top sheet. “Your advice seems sound.  I’d suggest a multi-faceted rating system.  You rate each individually on the cost, how safe it is for the environment, and the income that can be expected.  Then, if you average those, you’d get a composite rating.”

“That’s better than what we were thinking,” Merlin replied.  “We were going to put all those factors into the rating, but it wouldn’t be itemized.  Separating it out like that is better.”

Arthur nodded his agreement, and Merlin smiled at him.  Who knew agreeing with Merlin would make him that happy?  Well, actually, he’d figured it out when they first became friends.  He figured he’d ruined it after Saturday, but apparently he hadn’t.

“Your sources seem good as well,” Gaius said, and handed the rest of the sheets back to Arthur.  “They appear to be legitimate, and I know a few of those researchers myself.  Once everything is in the proper format, the credibility of your research won’t be in question.”

“I’m glad,” Arthur replied, sagging a little in his chair.  He’d been more nervous than Merlin about the sources, because most of them were his findings.  He didn’t want to have to go back and redo research because of a faulty source.

Merlin was about to say something as well, but his mobile started ringing.  He pulled it out of his pocket and glanced down at the screen, then cursed under his breath.

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked, frowning slightly.

Merlin stood up quickly and grabbed his bag.  “My mum’s calling.  We usually don’t talk on Mondays, so I better make sure everything’s all right.”

Arthur nodded.  “Right.  I’ll finish going over everything with Gaius, and I’ll tell you everything we still need to work on.”

Merlin smiled gratefully and answered the call as he darted out of the room.  “Hey, Mum!  I was surprised you called…”

Arthur looked back at Gaius, who was smiling at him.

“I see that everything is back to normal,” Gaius told him, raising an eyebrow.

“Almost,” Arthur replied.  He put the papers back in his bag to buy himself some time.  He needed to figure out how to explain it to Gaius.  “We’re just friends, now.  Nothing more.”

Gaius nodded and poured him some more whiskey.  Arthur was sure that if he and Merlin had many more fights, they’d both walk away as alcoholics.  Arthur downed it, and only pursed his lips at the taste.  He’d had much worse, usually from when Gwaine would do the shopping.

“I’m sure Merlin won’t be able to hold on long,” Gaius replied.  “He wants there to be trust between you two, and after… what happened, I think a lot more trust built between you.  It’s difficult to fix a relationship after something like that, but the two of you managed it.”

Arthur nodded, and offered him a smile.  He hoped Gaius was right.

“There was something else I wanted to discuss with you,” Gaius said, lacing his fingers together and putting his hands on top of his desk.  “It’s about your project.”

Arthur tried to rein in the sudden burst of anxiety.  Was something wrong with their project?  Would they have to redo it?  They’d worked so hard on it, and Arthur couldn’t believe that they’d missed something, or done something wrong.

“Arthur, there’s nothing wrong with your project,” Gaius told him first, fixing him with a warm stare.  “In fact, it’s spectacular.  I want you to invite your father to see your presentation.”

That was the absolute last thing Arthur had expected.  Why did Gaius think it would be a good idea to invite his father?  His father hated Gaius, and was mad at Arthur because of how distracted he’d been during Uther’s visit.  He would hate Merlin on principle, and would ridicule Arthur’s suggestions, even if they were logically thought out and well-presented.

“I know how much you dislike your father’s business practices, in terms of their impact on the environment,” Gaius told him quietly.  “This is your opportunity to change his mind.”

“He won’t listen,” Arthur replied, staring at the front of Gaius’s desk instead of looking at his face.  “If he even comes.  He’s never come to anything for me, why would he come to this?”

“You lose nothing by inviting him,” Gaius said.  “And you lose nothing if he doesn’t follow your ideas.  But if he comes, and he listens, you might be able help save the environment.”

Those last few words were like a slap in the face.  Arthur was supposed to save the world, right?  And Merlin was going to help him.  Here was where it all started.  Everything started with Arthur standing up to his father and telling him he was wrong.

Of course, saving the world would start with the single action that had terrified Arthur for as long as he could remember.  He’d never stood up to his father before.

“I’ll talk to Merlin,” Arthur said, nodding definitively.  Gaius smiled widely.

With Merlin at his side, Arthur felt like he could do anything.


	41. Merlin

“I’m so sorry I had to run out like that yesterday,” Merlin said in a rush as he dropped his bag next to his chair.  Arthur looked up from the salad he was eating, but didn’t say anything because his mouth was full.  Sometimes, Arthur’s manners were adorable.  Merlin would have just spoken around his mouthful of food.

Merlin sat down and put his sandwich on the table before Arthur finished swallowing.

“It’s fine,” he said, stabbing through a couple pieces of lettuce.  “There wasn’t much left to discuss, just an idea Gaius had.”

Merlin nodded, unwrapping his sandwich and licking his lips.  He’d bought a chicken and pesto sandwich, and he could already smell the basil and pine nuts.

“Is your mum all right?”

Merlin looked up at Arthur and nodded again.  “Oh, yeah.  She was just getting together some things to donate to the women and children’s shelter in the city, and she was asking about some of the old toys in my room.”

Arthur smiled and looked down at his salad.  Merlin frowned slightly; Arthur rarely looked away from him like that.  He usually did that when he was nervous, and trying to hide that he was nervous.  He knew Arthur was anxious about their presentation on Friday, but they’d already talked about it, and they were both like that.  There was no reason for Arthur to try to hide it.

Which didn’t mean that he wouldn’t, but Merlin had faith in Arthur’s newfound dedication to truth-telling.  He knew Arthur would tell him if something was wrong.  All he had to do was wait Arthur out.

So he took a few bites of his sandwich and waited for Arthur to speak up.

“Do you donate to that shelter a lot?” Arthur asked suddenly.  Merlin smiled slightly; looks like Arthur wanted to ease into it.

“We used to donate all my old clothes,” Merlin replied, taking another bite of his sandwich and talking through it.  “I grew so fast that they were still almost new when they became too small, and it didn’t seem right to throw them away.”

Arthur wrinkled his nose every time Merlin’s mouth opened wider, and after he swallowed his food, he grinned.

“You did that on purpose!” Arthur accused, pointing at Merlin with his fork.  Merlin tried to look innocent, but he knew his grin gave him away.

“Did what?” he asked.  He took another bite, and opened his mouth a little when he chewed.  Arthur scowled at him.

“You’re chewing with your mouth open because you know I don’t like it!”

Merlin swallowed, and once his mouth was empty, he chuckled softly.  “Fine, I was doing it because I know it bothers you,” he admitted, and when Arthur continued to scowl at him, he reached across the table and patted Arthur’s hand absentmindedly.  “Relax a little.  I can see you’re nervous.  Just tell me what is.”

Arthur sighed and took another bite of his salad.  That was when Merlin realized that his hand was still on top of Arthur’s.  He pulled it back quickly, blushing faintly.  He was the one who had wanted to be friends, and now here he was, acting like they were a couple again.  He couldn’t do things like this.

But Arthur was obviously bothered by something, so Merlin wanted to make him a little more at ease.

“It’s about what Gaius suggested,” Arthur said, after a pause.  “I want your opinion on it, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to agree.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow.  It must be more than just adding or taking out some information if Arthur was this serious about it.  “All right, I’ll tell you my honest opinion.”

Arthur nodded, and took a deep breath then let it out again.  “Gaius thinks that I should invite my father to come see our presentation.  It might help change his mind about what Pendragon Oil does, and, I quote, ‘save the environment.’”

Merlin immediately wanted to say that they should do it.  Even if he hadn’t known about their destiny he would have wanted to, just to make the environment a little better off.

But is Merlin really the right person for this?  What qualified Merlin to give a presentation to Uther Pendragon?  He’d done a couple presentations in school, but never anything as in-depth and important as this.  He couldn’t do this.  Arthur would be fine, he was sure, but Merlin would just stutter and get things wrong and mess Arthur up.

“We should talk to Gaius, see if you can do the presentation by yourself,” Merlin replied, avoiding Arthur’s eyes.  “But I think it’s a good idea.”

“Who said anything about doing the presentation by myself?” Arthur asked, clearly confused.  “We’re doing it together.”

Merlin sighed and toyed with the plastic wrap from his sandwich.  “Arthur, I’ve never done a presentation like this.  You know the information better than I do.  I’m just going to screw it up, so it makes sense for you to do the presentation by yourself.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, and Merlin could hear him shifting in his chair.  Merlin still didn’t want to look at him.  “Look at me, Merlin.  I’m not going to have this conversation with the top of your head.”

That decided that.  Merlin raised his head and met Arthur’s eyes.

“I can’t do this presentation without you.  You know how nervous I get about small things.  Do you have any idea how freaked out I get before I have to do a presentation?  Last time I had a presentation, I threw up right before, and that wasn’t even this big.”  He hesitated for a moment, then they both watched as Arthur reached across the table and took Merlin’s hand.  “You have this ability to calm me down, and I need that.  I need _you_.  It’s our destiny to do this, Merlin.  If we can change my father’s mind, it will be a huge step forward for conservation, but I can’t do it on my own.”

Merlin flushed red, still staring at their clasped hands.  He could feel how nervous Arthur was right now, about Merlin saying no.  So he glanced up at Arthur and smiled, and felt his nerves ease.

“Let’s do it,” he answered.  “Call your father tonight.  Figure out a way to get him there.”

Arthur smiled widely, and squeezed his hand gently.  “Right.  I’ll tell him it’s a requirement for a family member to be there, maybe, if he resists.”

Merlin chuckled and picked up his sandwich again.  “Good idea.  Text me and let me know what he says.  I’m watching a movie with Mordred and Freya tonight though, so I don’t know if I’ll answer right away.”

Arthur nodded, stabbing through another piece of lettuce.  “All right.  Just reply when you can.”

“By the way, that easing your nerves thing?  I usually use my magic.”

Arthur laughed quietly.  “I figured that out, after you told me about your magic.  But I know it isn’t just that.  There’s something about you that’s special, and it’s not just your magic.”

Merlin smiled at him, took a bite of his sandwich, and chewed it with his mouth open.  
Arthur laughed and pushed back from the table to distance himself from Merlin’s food.  “All right, I take it back!  There’s nothing special about you!  Just close your mouth!”

Merlin swallowed quickly so that he could laugh without choking.  By the time he had calmed down, Arthur was just smiling fondly at him.

Merlin smiled back, and they both went back to eating.  It took almost half an hour for Merlin to realize they were still holding hands.


	42. Arthur

“Okay, let’s just go through this one more time,” Arthur said, putting his papers back in the right order.  Merlin groaned, and Arthur heard his head thump onto his desk.  He looked up again, raising an eyebrow at Merlin through his computer screen.

“We practiced it twice tonight already,” Merlin said, his face still pressed to the papers covering his desk.  “There is such a thing as over-practicing.”

Arthur sighed.  “We already lost some time setting all of this up, and I want to make sure we’re ready for tomorrow.”

It had been pouring rain when they were supposed to be starting their practice, and neither of them could find their umbrellas.  So Merlin had guided Arthur, through the phone, into setting up a Skype call so they could still see each other as they practiced.  Merlin had first had to explain what Skype was and where Arthur could get it, but after that it had been pretty easy.  The rain hadn’t eased off quickly, like they’d hoped, so they did all of their practice so far through the internet.

“We’re ready for tomorrow,” Merlin told him, exasperated.  But Arthur could see the smile lingering on his lips and in the crinkles around his eyes.  “We’ve been poring over this information for weeks, and we’ve practiced it at least five times by now.  We can do this.”

“But my father’s going to be there,” Arthur replied, licking his lips nervously.  “He’s going to be listening to us giving this presentation.  If it’s not perfect, he won’t even consider listening to our suggestions.”

Merlin shook his head.  “We’re more likely to mess this up from lack of sleep than lack of practice.  You have an 8:55 tomorrow, don’t you? You need your full eight hours, Arthur, so you should go to bed within the next two hours.  And if we’re practicing right up until you go to sleep, it isn’t going to help you any.”

Arthur sighed and cradled his head in his hands.  He knew Merlin was right.  He knew that they both needed to sleep, and that they’d practiced enough, but he couldn’t help the anxiety.  He could feel it coursing through him, keeping him alert and on edge.

“I don’t think I could sleep even if I wanted to,” he said honestly, still covering his face with his hands.  “I’m too nervous about tomorrow.  I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Merlin sighed softly.  “Arthur, deep breaths.  Focus on pushing the air out.  You’re fine, Arthur.  All right?  You’re fine.”

Arthur took deep breaths, listening to Merlin’s voice as he repeated affirmations.  Finally he felt well enough to raise his head and offer Merlin a weak smile.  “Thanks.”

Merlin smiled back.  “Don’t worry about it.  Besides, I’d hate for you to get sick and make me do this myself.”

Arthur chuckled, and brushed his hair back from his face.  “Right.  But I really don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep.”

Merlin was silent for long enough that Arthur looked back at him, and his eyes widened.  Merlin’s cheeks were bright red, and his eyes were half-lidded.  Merlin licked his lips, and Arthur followed the movement closely.

“I know what could help,” he said, his voice deeper than normal.  Arthur recognized that voice.  It was the same one that had whispered “I love how strong and rough your hands are, they feel great on my cock” into his ear while Arthur stroked him towards climax.  Arthur swallowed nervously, sitting straighter in his chair.

“What’s that, then?” Arthur asked softly.

“I heard once, that sex is a great way to relax,” Merlin told him, shifting a little in his chair.  Arthur could see how much it was taking out of Merlin to offer this.  He was going against what he’d said he wanted.  Merlin wouldn’t offer something this intimate just to make Arthur feel better, would he?

But then again, this was the man that hadn’t asked what Arthur’s last name was because he didn’t want to be nosy.

That wasn’t really the same Merlin, though.  Going through everything with Arthur’s family and Merlin’s magic had changed both of them.  Before, they’d been blind to the problems in their relationship, and the issues that each of them had that poisoned their bond.  Now they were more aware.  This Merlin wouldn’t sacrifice his own emotional stability for Arthur’s.

“Are you sure, Merlin?” Arthur asked, just to be certain.  He met Merlin’s eyes.  When Merlin nodded silently, Arthur grinned.  “How fast can you get here?”

Merlin slammed the lid of his laptop down in response.  Arthur smiled and closed out of Skype, staring at the empty desktop of his computer.

Was this really a good decision?  They’d taken a step back to being friends for a reason.  Were they really ready to go back to where they’d been before?  What if they went back to ignoring their problems and it all built up again?  Arthur was sure they wouldn’t be able to pull another miracle relationship-fix, no matter how much spiked tea Gaius gave them.

Arthur took a deep breath and pushed himself away from his desk.  He knew this was the right decision.  He could feel it.  It wasn’t the same as when he’d convinced himself that lying to Merlin was the best route to take.  This time, he could feel it in every fiber of his being.  He knew that Merlin is supposed to be his, was always meant to be his, and _will_ always be his.  He knew it just as much as he knew that he was completely, irrevocably Merlin’s.

This couldn’t be wrong.  Nothing between them was wrong.  It was unusual, he supposed, to be moving as fast they were.  But it was destiny.  They knew they’re supposed to be together, so why did they have to try to conform to what other people thought was “normal?”

No relationship was perfect, even when you’re destined to be together.  They’d hit a major block, and survived it.  They could survive any fallout from this, if there was any.

Arthur stood up.  Should he take a shower?  …Wash down there?  Maybe change his sheets, or set out an extra set for after?  He’d never done this before, and he didn’t know what the protocol was.  Arthur closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

A shower would take too long.  Merlin’s only a 10 minute walk away, and he’d already used up 2 minutes of that time.  He’d just changed his sheets this past weekend, so they were still clean enough.  He and Merlin had used his bed with older sheets than those.  Finally, he settled on taking out another set of sheets, just in case.  At least Gwaine wasn’t here; that was one anxiety he was lucky to do without.

There was a knock on the front door of the flat.  Arthur swallowed and glanced at his watch; only five minutes had passed since they disconnected the video call.  He thought he’d have 10 minutes.  This was happening too soon.

But he couldn’t let Merlin think he was having second thoughts.  He wasn’t backing out.  He was just nervous.  So he hurried down the hall to unlock the front door and open it.

Immediately, the door flew open and Merlin threw himself at Arthur, kissing him hard.  Arthur put his hands on Merlin’s waist automatically, and pulled him tight against him.  Merlin had his hands on Arthur’s cheeks, keeping his head in place and ensuring that he couldn’t pull away.  Not that he wanted to.

Merlin, however, did pull away, which was just unfair.  Arthur tried to follow and kiss him again, but Merlin held him back.

“I could hear you second-guessing from blocks away,” Merlin panted, grinning at Arthur.  Arthur smiled slightly.  “Do you want to do this?  I can use my magic to take away some of your nervousness, and help you get to sleep.  We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” Arthur told him, licking his lips absentmindedly.  He’d seen Merlin drinking tea just before they started rehearsing the presentation, and he tasted it when they kissed.  Merlin took his tea too sweet.

As soon as the words left Arthur’s mouth, Merlin was on him again.  Arthur opened his mouth to Merlin’s tongue, and Merlin pressed him harder to the wall.  Merlin didn’t have much muscle, and if Arthur had tried to push him off, he would succeed without a problem.  That made it better; Merlin was pressing Arthur against a wall because of both of them wanted it, instead of one of them deciding and the other going with it.

Too much of their relationship had been like that.  Arthur had decided not to tell Merlin his name, and Merlin had gone with it.  They’d both decided, on their own, to ignore every issue someone brought up about their relationship.  And look where it had gotten them.

Merlin slipped his thigh between Arthur’s, rocking his hips against Arthur’s, so that each of them could rub against each other’s thigh.  They’d found this position a week before The Incident, and it worked great because they were the same height.  It worked _excellently_.  Arthur jerked against Merlin’s thigh, moaning into his mouth, and Merlin bucked against Arthur.  God, Arthur loved Merlin’s body.  He was slim, and thin, but his cock was bigger than Arthur had imagined.  He could feel it now, pressing into his leg and sliding over his hip.

And they really needed to be wearing fewer clothes so that Arthur could feel him without all of these layers in the way.  But pulling Merlin’s shirt off would mean that they needed to stop kissing, and Arthur wasn’t sure if he was willing to give that up.

Of course, once he decided that Merlin’s bare chest was worth the minor inconvenience, he found that Merlin’s shirt was soaked through.

“Get these clothes off,” Arthur muttered, breaking away from Merlin.  His concern cut through the lust fogging his mind, allowing him to sacrifice Merlin’s lips.  “They’re soaking wet.  You’ll get sick.”

Merlin chuckled and pulled his shirt off quickly, tossing it onto the absorbent mat in front of the door.  “I forgot.  It was still raining, when I was coming over here.”

Arthur unbuttoned and unzipped Merlin’s trousers, pushing them down his hips to they would slip down the rest of the way on their own.  He was going to push down Merlin’s pants as well, then paused.  All of Merlin’s pants were the same, just sometimes in different colors, and they were all made of thin cotton.  Now, when they were soaking wet, Arthur could see the outline of Merlin’s cock clearly through the fabric.

It was almost as thrilling as seeing Merlin’s cock bare.  Almost.  So Arthur took another moment to appreciate the sight, then pulled his pants down.  Yes, seeing Merlin naked was better.

“Now you have to take yours off,” Merlin told him, a cheeky smile on his lips.  So Arthur put his lips on Merlin’s, briefly, before pulling back to pull his shirt over his head.  The front was soaking wet, from pressing against Merlin.  The front of his trousers was the same.

Merlin pulled back so that he could toe his shoes off, kicking his trousers and pants off at the same time.  Arthur hurried through getting his pajamas off.  He wasn’t wearing pants underneath.  He hadn’t thought he’d be seeing Merlin tonight, or that Merlin would be seeing him trouser-less, and hadn’t bothered to put any on after his shower.

Arthur hoped Merlin was distracted by everything else that he wouldn’t notice.  As soon as Arthur looked at his face, though, he knew that Merlin had seen.  Merlin’s huge grin and the sultry light in his eyes made it obvious.

“Expecting something?” Merlin purred, running his fingertips down Arthur’s chest to the nest of curls around his cock.

Arthur flushed and pushed into his touch.  “No,” he muttered, turning his head to the side a little.

Immediately, Merlin took his hand back.  “Was that a ‘no don’t touch me’ or ‘no i wasn’t expecting anything?’”

Arthur looked at him again, eyebrows twitching into a frown.  Merlin met his gaze evenly.  He was serious, Arthur realized.  They hadn’t gotten back to the same level of intuition as before, and maybe they really hadn’t reached that level to begin with.  But Arthur had no doubts that if he said he didn’t want Merlin to touch him, Merlin would stop.  Even though they were standing naked in the hallway of his flat, Merlin would let go, put his clothes back on, and go back home.

And Arthur knew with even greater certainty that he didn’t ever want Merlin to stop.  He wanted Merlin around him all the time, touching him like this whenever they could manage it.  He never wanted Merlin to doubt that Arthur wanted him around.

So he kissed Merlin quickly, and smiled.  “Touch me some more,” he invited, taking Merlin’s hand and putting it on his chest.  Merlin’s answering smile was surprisingly sultry.  Arthur hadn’t known he could look like that.

His cock hardened more, and Arthur blushed.  Merlin dragged his hand down Arthur’s chest again, circling the base of his cock and then trailing his fingers down the length.  Arthur’s breathing deepened, trying to suck in air that just wasn’t there.  His hand flew to Merlin’s shoulder, using his hold to support himself.

“Bed,” he gasped, his fingers digging into Merlin’s shoulder as Merlin rubbed his thumb against the slit.  Merlin nodded and let go again, making Arthur curse under his breath, before leaning down to rummage through his trouser pocket.

“ _Mer_ lin, what are you doing?” Arthur demanded, pushing away from the wall and trying to grab Merlin’s arm to haul him up.

Merlin popped back up with the bottle of lube and condoms they’d bought, a grin on his lips.  “Figured you wouldn’t have any, considering we had to buy these special, before.”

Arthur swallowed nervously, but nodded, forgetting his urgency to get to a bed.  Were they really going to do this?  They were going to have sex?

Merlin brought his free hand up to Arthur’s cheek, rubbing his thumb along the bone.  Arthur met his eyes, and Merlin’s smile softened.  “We can go as far as you want.  Just say the word, and I’ll stop.”

Arthur nodded, and put one of his hands on Merlin’s hip.  “You, too.  If you want to stop, just say so.”

Merlin nodded back, and kissed Arthur softly.   “You were saying something about a bed, right?”

“I have the dark blue sheets on,” Arthur offered, pulling Merlin down the hall and leaving their clothes behind on the floor.

Merlin grinned.  “Someday I’m going to fuck you on those sheets.”

“You might get your chance tonight,” Arthur replied, pushing open the door to his bedroom.  Merlin’s response was to chuck the condoms and lube onto the bed and pull Arthur against him to kiss him hard.  Arthur relaxed against Merlin, not sure if magic was involved in that or not, and kissed back.

He sank into the kiss, really.  His mind wandered to every point of contact between them, from Merlin’s hands on his waist to Arthur’s on Merlin’s shoulders, and where their thighs and chests brushed every so often.

It took him a few moments to realize that Merlin was guiding him back towards the bed.

“We’d never be able to do this at your flat,” Arthur muttered against Merlin’s lips, walking backwards so Merlin didn’t have to coordinate both of their movements.  “Too much junk on your floor.”

“We can clean it up and then fuck on the floor,” Merlin replied, and pushed Arthur onto his back on the bed.  Arthur chuckled as he bounced slightly, then propped himself up on his elbows.  Merlin kneeled on the edge of the bed, and that’s when Arthur saw it.  Merlin was still wearing his socks.

Merlin started crawling up the bed towards him, a smirk on his lips, but all Arthur could think about was those socks.  So when Merlin straddled his waist, and those threadbare white socks came into his sight again, Arthur burst out laughing.

“What?” Merlin asked, his smirk melting into a pout.  “Why are you laughing?  You almost came just from that move last time I tried it!”

Arthur covered his mouth and tried to stop laughing.  “It’s your socks!” he managed to say, then finally got himself under control with a few gasping breaths.  “And last time you tried that, I didn’t _almost come_.  I told you it was hot.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and reached back to pluck his socks off.  He dangled them in front of Arthur’s face, making Arthur swat at them with a scowl, before he chucked them off to the side.

“You need to wash those socks,” Arthur told him, still scowling.  “They smell disgusting.”

“I think that’s more because they got soaked,” Merlin replied lightly, kissing the tip of Arthur’s nose.  Arthur tried to keep scowling, he really did, but it was impossible when Merlin was purposefully being so cute.  Merlin knew this, and that’s why he titled his head to the side, widened his eyes, and bit his lip as he ran his fingers down Arthur’s chest.

“That look should be illegal,” Arthur muttered, running his hands down Merlin’s sides until he could grip his hips.  Merlin kept the faux-innocence as he pet Arthur’s chest lightly, twisting his chest hair around his fingertips.

“I love your chest,” Merlin murmured, staring at Arthur’s chest and moving his fingers across it in random curlicues.  Arthur started breathing heavier, his cock thickening again.  There was nothing really sexual about how Merlin was touching him, though.  He was just petting his chest.

“I think you’ve told me that before,” Arthur replied, tugging Merlin’s hips down so that he could grind against him.  “You said you were going to elope with my chest.”

“I still might.”  Merlin ducked his head and kissed Arthur’s nipple, his tongue swiping over it after a moment.  “But I think I’ll take the rest of you, too.”

Arthur chuckled, but it quickly broke off into a moan as Merlin sucked at his nipple.  Merlin’s lips were fantastic, and he was so focused on Arthur that it was intoxicating.  Usually, Merlin’s thoughts were all over the place, and he couldn’t keep his focus on one thing.  But his hands were tracing the lines of Arthur’s abs, his tongue was flicking over Arthur’s nipple, and his hips were grinding slowly against Arthur’s.  This must be enough to keep his mind occupied.

Arthur tried to use his grip on Merlin’s hips to make him move faster, and he should have been able to manage it.  Merlin had barely any strength to him.  He tried to pull Merlin down again, and this time Merlin laughed quietly against Arthur’s chest.  When they looked at each other, Arthur saw that Merlin’s eyes were glowing gold.

“Cheater!” Arthur exclaimed, bringing one hand up to smack the side of Merlin’s head.  Merlin laughed out loud, his cheek resting on Arthur’s sternum.

“Your face!” Merlin managed to say, tearing up from his laughter.  “You honestly thought I was suddenly stronger than you!”

Arthur tried to keep scowling, but it probably became more of a pout, if Merlin’s grin was anything to go by.

“Don’t be upset,” Merlin told him, kissing him softly.  “It was just a joke.”

“I’m not upset,” Arthur replied, and he really wasn’t.  He wasn’t just pretending to be okay because he didn’t want Merlin to be upset.  He really wasn’t angry.  Merlin had been joking around, and it _was_ funny. 

Merlin grinned and ground against him slowly.  Arthur clamped his hands back on Merlin’s hips and kept him there, bucking up against him roughly.  Merlin groaned, but didn’t try to move away.  He rolled his hips to Arthur’s rhythm, sitting up straight and balancing by putting his palms low on Arthur’s stomach.

Their cocks were rubbing together, the friction just a little too much without lube.  But the sight of Merlin moving above him made it even better.

Suddenly, everything stopped.  Merlin stopped moving, except for tiny jerks of his hips, and Arthur couldn’t move even when he tried to.  Merlin’s eyes were gold again, and the bottle of lube they’d bought was in his hand.

“How are we doing this?” Merlin asked, flicking the cap open.  “Do you want to fuck me, or do you want me to fuck you?”

That was too much of a decision for Arthur to make in this state.  They should have figured this out earlier.

“Whatever you want,” Arthur replied.  “We can try everything, if we have enough time.”

“Of course we’re going to have enough time,” Merlin told him with a grin.  “We can try everything, and repeat the ones we like. But, for tonight…” he dribbled some of the lube onto his fingers, then rubbed his fingers together to warm it.  “I think I’d like to fuck you on these sheets.”

“You did promise me that,” Arthur murmured, spreading his legs a little.  Merlin chuckled and shifted so that he was kneeling between Arthur’s thighs instead of over his hips.

“I did,” Merlin confirmed, coaxing Arthur’s legs wider with his clean hand.  “And then tomorrow, you can fuck me on these sheets.  And then I can blow you again, and you can blow me.  Rimming looks like fun, but we’ll need some more stuff for that—”

“Let’s start with tonight,” Arthur interrupted, bracing his feet against the bed.  “In fact, I’d really like to get on with tonight.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow and pressed the tip of his index finger to Arthur’s hole.  “You’re clean, right?”

“Never been with anyone else,” Arthur confirmed.  “And I took a shower right before we started the video chat.”

Merlin grinned and pressed a quick kiss to Arthur’s inner thigh.  “Me, too.  Unless there was something in that rain.”

“Rain can’t do anything unless you’re Boekind,” Arthur muttered, grabbing Merlin’s wrist and trying to force his hand closer.

Merlin rolled his eyes.  “Only you would reference Torchwood when I’m about to shove my fingers into your arse.”

Arthur just raised an imperious eyebrow and stared at him.  Merlin shook his head, but smiled as he pressed the tip of his finger in.  Arthur’s leg twitched, nudging gently against Merlin’s side, but he didn’t react in any other way.

Arthur had tried this before, once.  Saturday night in the shower, when he and Merlin had planned on doing this.  He’d never felt the urge to stick his fingers up his arse before.  Even when he did it, there didn’t seem anything special about it.  There was pressure where there shouldn’t be pressure, and fullness where he shouldn’t be full.  He’d gotten half of his index finger in before he’d given it up as a lost cause and went back to wallowing in his misery.

But this was completely different.  It was because of Merlin, it had to be.  Merlin’s finger was playing with his nerve endings, and his magic was making it feel so much better.

Arthur looked down at Merlin, and Merlin met his eyes.  They were blue, not gold.  There wasn’t any magic.  It was just Merlin.  Merlin made it so much better, just as he always had.

“Does it feel good?” Merlin asked quietly, pressing his finger a little deeper, his other hand petting the outside of Arthur’s thigh gently.

Arthur nodded once, then again, and closed his eyes. “Yeah, it’s… great.”  There were other words he could use to describe the feeling, but he couldn’t think of any of them.  Every thought flew out of his head except for Merlin and his fingers.

Ah, yes.  There were two fingers now.  It stung a little, just from the stretch, but it was nowhere near as bad as Arthur thought it would be.  Merlin kissed just above his cock, and Arthur shifted to try and get Merlin’s mouth on him, inadvertently pushing against Merlin’s fingers. And that, that was fantastic.  It got even better when Merlin sunk his fingers deeper, until Arthur could feel his knuckles against his hole.

“You’re so hot,” Merlin groaned, surprising Arthur.  He opened his eyes, propping himself up a little to look at Merlin.  He didn’t know that Merlin was getting off on this too; didn’t it just feel good for the person being fingered?  But Merlin’s eyes were hooded and dark, his mouth open slightly and his tongue flicking along his lips.  Arthur groaned softly at the intensity on Merlin’s face, and bucked against his hand again.

“One sec,” Merlin muttered, curling his fingers to press against a wall.  Arthur shifted a little; the feeling was a little uncomfortable, to have that pressure only in one spot.  But then Merlin narrowed his eyes and twisted his fingers a little, and _oh_.

“Merlin,” Arthur moaned, his head snapping back.  “Oh my God, what was that?”

“Prostate,” Merlin replied smugly, rubbing the little nub with his fingertips.  “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Oh my God,” Arthur managed, pressing back against his hand with as much force as he could muster, which wasn’t much.  His legs were spread, and he couldn’t gain much leverage.  But then Merlin pressed harder, and that made up for it.  He could feel the pleasure wash over him, tingling through every nerve ending and spreading to his whole body.  He felt like he was on fire, just from that one little spot and two of Merlin’s fingers.  “More,” he gasped, spreading his legs a little bit wider, until his muscles burned with it.

Merlin obliged.  The third finger brought more of a stretch, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It got even better when Merlin pressed against his prostate again.

“Do that again,” he rasped, jerking back onto Merlin’s fingers.  Merlin brushed his fingertips over his prostate again, but didn’t press hard like he had before.  “Harder.”

Merlin grinned, and just rubbed it gently.  Arthur pushed back, bracing his feet so he could push Merlin’s fingers more against that spot.  Merlin spread his fingers, but didn’t let Arthur maneuver any of them onto his prostate.  God, Arthur was going to kill him, if this frustration didn’t kill him, first.

He reached down to wrap his hand around his cock and started pumping quickly.  He was close, from Merlin’s fingers, and he just wanted to _come_.

“Not yet,” Merlin said, pulling Arthur’s hand away when he was moments away from coming.  Arthur bit his lip, because he felt like he was a half-second away from begging.  He didn’t want to beg Merlin to let him come.

But really, why not?  Merlin wouldn’t think he was weak, or make fun of him.  Well, he might make fun of him a little, but he wouldn’t mean.  It would just be teasing.

“Please,” he groaned, trying to get his hand out of Merlin’s grip.  Merlin held tight, but pressed a soft kiss to the side of Arthur’s erection.

“I want you to come when I’m inside you,” Merlin told him, meeting his eyes.  Merlin looked almost as wrecked as Arthur felt, with his bitten-red lips and the lust fogging his eyes.  But at the same time, he’d never looked more focused.

And all that focus was on Arthur.

“Then fuck me,” Arthur replied, picking up the lube from where it was pressing against his thigh.  “Come on, get on with it.”

Merlin chuckled and took out his fingers, grabbing the lube from Arthur and picking up the condom from the other side of the bed.  “Of course, your highness.”

“Oh please,” Arthur scoffed, pulling Merlin up.  “If I was a king and you were my servant, I’d have you thrown in the dungeons every other day for your insolence.”

“Or you could put me in the stocks,” Merlin purred, nuzzling the join of Arthur’s neck and shoulder.  “Pull down my trousers and spank me, then fuck me, and I can’t get away.  Do it in front of your loyal subjects.”

Arthur blinked down at Merlin.  “That was more kink in one sentence than I expected from you.”

Merlin chuckled.  “I’m a sexually frustrated teenager with a hot boyfriend.  Did you think I don’t have any strange fantasies?”

Arthur laughed and kissed him, then pulled away to say, “I have plenty of my own, too.  Like tying you to my bed, putting cock rings on both of us, and fucking you until you scream.”

Merlin licked his lips, ripping the condom packet open and rolling it down over his cock, then popping open the bottle of lube.  “I want to eat ice cream and chocolate off of your chest.”

Arthur grinned.  “I want to tie you to my bed and put a vibrator inside you, and fuck you with it until you beg for my cock.”

“I’m sensing a trend,” Merlin replied, squeezing lube out onto his palm and then spreading it over his cock with a small moan.

“What, tying you to my bed?  You were the one that pointed out the sheets first.”

Merlin grinned and braced himself above Arthur, eyes roving over him.  Arthur flushed slightly, but Merlin obviously liked what he was seeing.  A moment later, Merlin was sitting back on his heels and pulling Arthur’s legs up to wrap around his waist.  As soon as his legs were placed right, Merlin took his cock in one hand and Arthur’s hand in the other.

“If it hurts, squeeze my hand,” Merlin instructed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze for reassurance.  Arthur hadn’t been nervous until Merlin tried to reassure him. Was it really going to hurt?  He hadn’t thought about how much it was going to hurt.

He tensed slightly, and then tried to relax again, but trying only made him tenser.

“Arthur,” Merlin murmured, leaning over him to kiss him softly.  “You need to relax.  What can I do to help?”

“Kiss me again?” He asked, and Merlin complied.  Their lips slid over each other in perfect tandem, tongues twining together.  Arthur felt relaxation seeping into his muscles, and he could feel that Merlin was pushing magic relaxation through their kiss.

Finally, when they pulled away, Arthur smiled.  “Are you all right, too?”

Merlin nodded and licked his lips again.  It was nerves this time, Arthur guessed.  “I just want to make it good for you.”

“It’ll be great because it’s you,” Arthur answered, making Merlin blush.  But he was smiling, and after a moment of staring into each other’s’ eyes, Merlin pressed the head of his erection to Arthur’s entrance and then slowly pushed in.

The first sensation Arthur registered was pain.  His hole was stretching to accommodate Merlin’s cock, and it couldn’t stretch it enough.  He started breathing heavier, squeezing Merlin’s hand to try to help the pain.

Merlin stopped moving.  “That bad?” He asked softly.  Arthur clenched his eyes shut and nodded.

Merlin let go of his hand and wrapped his hand around Arthur’s cock, stroking him slowly.  “Is this helping?”

Arthur relaxed, slowly, and nodded.  It did help, because the pleasure gave his mind something to latch onto.  He could ignore the sting from his arse by focusing on Merlin’s soft palm and long fingers.

He barely even noticed that Merlin was moving again, until Merlin’s hips were pressed against his arse.

“It’s all the way in,” Merlin whispered in awe, stroking Arthur almost absentmindedly.  Arthur opened his eyes and looked up at Merlin.  There was sweat beading on his temples, and making his hair curl.  He was staring down at where they were connected, and Arthur couldn’t help but look as well.  He couldn’t see much from this angle, but he could see the dark thatch of hair above Merlin’s cock and the faint trembling of the muscles in his stomach and thighs.

“Move,” Arthur said, once he realized it didn’t hurt.  It felt… good.  The pressure that had been verging on too much before was now not enough.  He needed the friction, and he knew Merlin wanted it, too.  He could imagine what having someone tight around you would feel like, but actually moving together would make it even better.

“Are you sure?” Merlin managed to say, his jaw clenched tight.  Arthur rolled his hips, pulling back a little then pushing onto Merlin again, and let out a soft moan.

That was all the confirmation Merlin needed.  He pulled back until the head tugged at Arthur’s rim, then thrust back in slowly.  Merlin groaned through his clenched teeth, still trembling against Arthur.  Arthur let out a breath as Merlin pushed in, and it was better.  The drag inside him was amazing, and Merlin’s cock was grazing against his prostate.

“Merlin,” he groaned, shifting his hips to try to get Merlin to thrust into his prostate.

“Fuck,” Merlin grunted, thrusting a little faster.  “Shit, stop moving.”

Arthur tossed his head back, frustrated at how close this was to perfection.  The sensation of Merlin thrusting into him was intense, and pleasurable, but he needed that little push.

Merlin grabbed Arthur’s hips, and with the help of some magic, lifted Arthur’s hips a little off the bed.  Merlin kneeled up a little more, and started driving into Arthur harder.  The new angle had him thrusting right into Arthur’s prostate.  With a loud cry, Arthur bucked against him and squeezed around Merlin accidentally.

He had thought it would hurt, but it only made everything better.  Merlin thrust faster, obviously chasing his own orgasm, and Arthur tried to keep the rhythm.  They wouldn’t be able to keep together for long, Arthur knew, but he wasn’t sure he could hold on for much longer anyway.

Nothing had prepared him for this intensity, or the passion rolling off of Merlin in heady waves.  Arthur could feel every muscle pulling tighter, his body curling in on itself.

His legs tightened around Merlin’s waist, pulling him in tighter, until Merlin could only make short, fast thrusts into him.

It was still enough.  With a shout, Arthur clenched around Merlin and came.  His cock spurted come onto their stomachs, his back snapping back into an arch.  He closed his eyes, riding the waves of pleasure as they rushed over him and pulled him under.

Once he’d come back to himself, he realized that Merlin had come as well.  Merlin was gripping his hips tightly, and Arthur suspected there would be bruises in the morning.  He could feel the heat of Merlin’s come trapped in the condom.  He could feel Merlin’s cock twitching inside him, and then after a moment, beginning to soften.

Merlin pulled out slowly, gingerly, both of them too sensitive to move quickly.

“That was fantastic,” Arthur murmured, collapsing back onto the bed.  Merlin laughed and took the condom off, tying a knot at the open end, and tossing it at the trash can.  He crawled up the bed to cuddle against Arthur.  He pressed his fingers to Arthur’s hole, making him wince slightly.  It had felt great in the moment, but now that the euphoria had started to fade a little, it just ached and burned.

Merlin kissed him softly, his eyes turned gold, and the ache faded away to near nothing.

“It was fantastic,” Merlin replied at last, resting his forehead against Arthur’s.  Arthur smiled, closing his eyes to slivers.  He was tired, and he couldn’t keep his eyes open, but he didn’t want to look away from Merlin.  “Go to sleep,” Merlin whispered, twisting their legs together and pulling the sheet over them.  “We have a big day tomorrow.”

“I’m going to tie you to the bed tomorrow,” Arthur mumbled, closing his eyes all the way.  Merlin chuckled quietly, but didn’t argue.

There was no anxiety in thinking about their presentation.  Merlin had wiped it out of him completely.  He didn’t have the urge to wash them both off, or to change the sheets, or go pick up their clothes from the hallway.

And in the morning, when the sunlight streamed through his window and his alarm clock went off, he hit the snooze button for the first time in his life, and snuggled back against Merlin.


	43. Merlin

“Did we remember all the notecards?” Arthur whispered to Merlin.  They were standing at the front of the room, their backs to their classmates as they fiddled with the laptop.  Merlin brought up their presentation while Arthur sorted through the notecards to make sure they were all there.

“Arthur, calm down,” Merlin whispered back, glancing over at him.  “You double-checked the notecards before we left your flat, and then again after we left mine.  They’re all there.”

“And the slides are in the right order?”

Merlin turned to Arthur and gripped his hand tightly.  “Listen to me, Arthur.”  He waited until Arthur looked at him, then smiled.  At least Arthur was open to being calmed down; this would be a lot harder if he was so nervous he wouldn’t cooperate.  “I’m here.  We have all our notecards.  The slides are in the right order.  We’re dressed professionally, and have water just in case.  You went to the bathroom five minutes ago.  We have a couple minutes before we start, and we saw your father pass by the window.  Everything’s fine, Arthur.”  Just to be safe, he pushed a little bit of calming magic through their joined hands, and felt Arthur relax next to him.  Merlin kissed him softly, and Arthur finally smiled.  “See?  We’ve worked so hard; we know this material.  This is going to be a breeze.”

Arthur smiled more, even if he still looked a little pale.  At least he didn’t look like he was going to throw up anymore.  Merlin chuckled lightly and straightened Arthur’s red tie.  They’d agreed to wear suits for their presentation, in order to look more professional.  Arthur had on a clearly expensive black suit and a bright red tie; Merlin had the grey suit he’d owned since Will’s mother’s wedding four years ago and a blue tie he’d borrowed from Arthur’s closet.  Arthur told him it matched his eyes, and that had decided that.

And just as soon as Arthur had finally relaxed, Uther walked in through the door.  Arthur immediately tensed again, snapping into a military-esque stance. Merlin held his hand tighter, but didn’t try to take Arthur’s attention from Uther.

Merlin followed him with his eyes as well, as Uther walked up the steps on the side of the lecture hall to the last row.  There was an empty seat next to Gaius, and they nodded stiffly at each other when Uther took his seat.

Merlin turned away so that he could grin.  Gaius and Uther looked so much like he and Arthur had, on the first day of class.  He knew that this presentation was their first step to helping the environment, but he also hoped it could help heal the rift between Uther and Gaius.  He knew Arthur would be fine without the two of them being friendly, but it would be infinitely better having the two of them together.  Who knows, it might even make Uther pay more attention to Arthur.  Even if it was over a decade late, it would still help him.

“Arthur, look at me,” Merlin told him quietly.  When Arthur shifted his gaze back to Merlin, he immediately started calming down.  Merlin pushed him some magic, just to help.

Finally, Arthur was back at his previous state of relaxation.  Merlin squeezed his hand, and Arthur squeezed back, before they both let go.  Merlin picked up the clicker they were using to change slides as Arthur picked up his note cards.  Merlin picked up his own stack of notes, and they stepped forward in unison.

Merlin clicked the button and changed the projection to their title slide.  Immediately, their class mates quieted down.

As Arthur started their presentation, Merlin glanced over at him.  Arthur had told him about how to act in a presentation like this, and always facing forward was one of the rules he was meant to follow.  He figured it was safe to keep his body and face forward, but his eyes on Arthur, just for a moment.  
And he was glad he was looking at Arthur.  Arthur had his shoulders back and his head held high, his expression serious but a fire in his eyes.  It was obvious from so close that Arthur cared passionately about this topic; Merlin believed that Arthur’s passion was radiating off him so brightly that even Uther could tell, from the back of the room and through years of neglect.

Merlin mentally patted himself on the back when he changed the slide at the right time and picked up his section of their presentation seamlessly.  Arthur flashed him a small smile as Merlin explained their definitions for all the terms they were using.  Merlin hadn’t though it was necessary, but Arthur had insisted.  Now that Merlin could see Uther nodding in slight approval, Merlin was glad he’d given in.

Throughout their presentation, Merlin would brush his hand against Arthur’s, just to see how he was doing.  Arthur wasn’t projecting his emotions like he had been doing before, so direct touch was the only way to figure out if he was too nervous.  Arthur’s anxiety didn’t spike, like Merlin had been expecting.  He thought, for sure, that when they reached all the graphs that they’d struggled over, that his anxiety would sky-rocket, and Merlin would need to send him a little pulse of magic.

But he didn’t.  Arthur stayed calm and collected.  Merlin, miraculously, did as well.  He figured he’d be a lot more nervous than he was, but with Arthur so composed by his side, he couldn’t be anything but calm.

When he had Arthur at his side, nothing was a problem.  It was invigorating, just being next to him.  And then there was the adrenaline from giving the presentation, and the giddy feeling that overtook him as they got closer and closer to the end.

And then they reached the recommendations.  Merlin knew that Arthur was nervous about offering recommendations to Uther.  It would be the most direct part of their presentation, and the part most representative of what they’d worked on.  If their recommendations were off, then something in their research or thinking wasn’t right.

But Uther looked thoughtful.  Merlin couldn’t tell if he was completely convinced, but he looked thoughtful.  He was thinking about advice that Arthur and Merlin were giving him.  Uther Pendragon, CEO of one of the biggest oil companies in the world, the man who couldn’t care less about the environment, was considering the environmentally-friendly options Arthur and Merlin were talking about.

And once they opened it up for questions, and received none, Merlin finally let a grin spread over his face.

Their presentation went… perfectly.  Merlin thought it would go well, but he didn’t think it would be _perfect_.  He’d reassured Arthur that everything would go right, of course, but he hadn’t really expected it.  Gaius had been smiling at them at the end, and Uther had even looked pleased.  Their classmates had clapped.

Gaius dismissed the class, and came up to the front of class with a wide smile on his face.

“Congratulations!” Gaius exclaimed, clapping each of them on the shoulder.  “That went wonderfully!  You fleshed out the introduction well, and I liked the addition of those definitions.  Very well thought out!”

“Thanks,” Merlin replied, when Arthur didn’t say anything.  Arthur’s eyes were trained on the back of the room, where Uther was still sitting.

“I’ll need to do the official grading,” Gaius continued, “But I can tell you that there’s nothing I can think of that will stop you from getting an A.  If I could give an A+, I’m sure you’d receive that.”

Merlin laughed and ran a hand through his hair.  “Thank you, Gaius.  Really.”  He glanced at Arthur again, then back at Gaius.  “If you hadn’t convinced me I should give him a chance, I don’t think I ever would have.  And if you hadn’t paired us for this project, we would never have had a reason to get to know each other.  None of this would have happened.”

Gaius laughed quietly, leaning a little towards Merlin.  “I don’t think that destiny would have allowed you two to stay apart, Merlin.”

Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but Gaius just tapped the side of his nose and walked out of the room.

Apparently Gaius had more magic than he’d led Merlin and Arthur to believe.  If he was well-connected enough to know a clairvoyant, then he needed to have at least moderately strong powers.  But that was Gaius’s business.  Merlin had no reason to meddle in his secrets.

Merlin looked at Arthur again.  Arthur was still staring at Uther.  Uther was staring back.

Merlin smiled softly, and touched Arthur’s hand gently.  Arthur turned a little, to meet Merlin’s eyes, and smiled as well.

“We did great,” he said softly.

“We did _amazing_ ,” Merlin replied.  Arthur chuckled and nodded, then looked away again as Uther stood up and started walking down to the front slowly.

“Do you want me to stay?” Merlin asked quietly.  “I can stay and try to make conversation, or something.”

Arthur shook his head, then kissed him softly.  “I’ll fine.  We can meet at the coffee shop when I’m done?”

Merlin grinned and nodded.  The coffee shop, from the first time they went there, was always their place.  They had a table they always sat at, and they ordered the same drinks every time.  There was no better place to celebrate.

“If you need back up, text me,” Merlin said, and kissed him again.  “You did great.”

“So did you,” Arthur replied, then shifted his attention to Uther, who was standing beside him.

“I’m Merlin Emrys,” Merlin said to Uther, holding out a hand.  Uther studied him for a moment, then shook his hand.  Merlin maintained eye contact and shook his hand firmly, just as Arthur had told him to do.  He counted to three, then let go.  Uther nodded, and Merlin assumed that meant he approved.  From the grin Arthur shot him, he was right.

So he touched Arthur’s hand as he went past, slipping a little reassurance and a lot of love to Arthur.

And when he reached the door, he glanced back.  Arthur and Uther were standing in identical stances, almost the same height and the same exact build.  The only differences were their hair color, and their expression.  Arthur was still smiling, while Uther’s expression was much more blank.

Merlin smiled to himself and walked out of the room.  Arthur had been calm, and happy, when Merlin had touched him.  And now, even without Merlin at his side, Arthur was still smiling.

Arthur could handle his father on his own.  Merlin knew the best way to help Arthur was to give him a chance to deal with his father.  Merlin couldn’t fight Arthur’s battles for him; he could only help him afterwards.

Somehow, Merlin felt that Arthur wouldn’t need much help afterwards.  Uther’s emotional distance didn’t stand a chance against Arthur’s conviction.  If a lifetime of cold disregard hadn’t managed to rob Arthur of his passion, there was no chance that ten minutes with Uther would be able to even chip away at the happiness radiating off of Arthur now.


	44. Arthur

As Merlin left, Arthur felt some of his anxiety coming back.  Merlin, even without using his magic, always had a calming effect on Arthur.  Well, when he wasn’t working Arthur up enough to make him beg, Merlin was calming.

And he really shouldn’t be thinking about having sex with Merlin while his father was standing in front of him.

But really, he and Merlin needed to have congratulatory sex tonight.  He wondered if it would be just as good as anxiety-reducing sex.  He assumed it would, considering Merlin was amazing at everything except cooking and being on time.

Right.  His father.

“What did you think?” Arthur asked, trying to cover up his wandering thoughts.  His father raised an eyebrow, and Arthur knew he hadn’t covered it up very well.  But his father didn’t berate him for it, and that was an improvement.

“I can tell that you put a lot of time into that research,” Uther told him, glancing at the note cards still clasped in Arthur’s hand. “You and Merlin.”

Arthur blushed faintly, but refused to be cowed.  He kept his head up and his shoulders back, the way his father had taught him.  He wasn’t ashamed of having kissed Merlin earlier.  He wished his father hadn’t witnessed it, of course, but he wouldn’t allow his father to make him regret anything he did with Merlin.

“We did do a lot of research,” Arthur agreed.  “Merlin did a lot of pleasure-reading into conservation over the summer, and he already had a lot of sources in mind.  I added my own, as well as the contacts at the different companies.”

Uther nodded, and started walking to the door.  Arthur fell into step beside him.  “That was smart, contacting the businesses directly.  Press statements and media coverage is horribly unreliable.”

“That’s why I did it,” Arthur said.  “I wanted to make sure there was as little bias in our research as possible, so that when we did the statistical analysis, it would be difficult to question our conclusions.  As long as the math was correct, our findings would be almost impossible to deny.”

“This was a lot of thought for a Marine Invertebrates presentation,” Uther stated blandly.  Arthur’s eyebrows shot up.  He hadn’t realized his father remembered the name of this class.  He had been surprised that Uther had remembered to come at all.

“I care about it,” Arthur blurted, without thinking about it first.  Mentally he winced, but he kept it off his face.  He’d learned the hard way that he couldn’t show emotion to his father, and now he admitted to _caring_.  After showing Merlin affection.  His father was going to destroy him.

“I know you do,” Uther replied.  “I noticed it years ago.  I didn’t encourage it, because you couldn’t take over the company with an oceanography degree.”

“You… noticed?” Arthur asked, and then cursed his hesitation.  That was another thing he’d been taught not to do.

“Of course I did,” Uther replied, stopping in the hallway and looking at Arthur.  “You read every book on the ocean that you could get your hands on.”

Arthur nodded, still trying to think it through.  His father had known he was interested in oceanography, and cared about the environment, but he still hadn’t changed anything about Pendragon Oil or his expectations.

“I knew you had the makings of a great businessman,” Uther said, starting to walk again.  “I wanted to foster that side of you, so I could be confident in leaving Pendragon Oil in your hands.”

“You could have trained me for business while still letting me explore my own interests,” Arthur interrupted to say.  “And you didn’t need to distance yourself to teach me.”

Uther nodded, but he didn’t stop again.  “I realize that now.  My father raised me with a stern hand, and it helped me achieve success.  I wanted to do the same with you.  But I had a mother, who nurtured me, as a counterpoint to my father.  Once your mother… passed, you didn’t have the same attention.  Gaius stepped in for some time, and I convinced myself that you would grow up fine without him or a mother.”

Arthur nodded, and stared straight ahead.  He could believe that his father hadn’t realized until it was too late.  It fit in painfully well.  It would explain why his father agreed to speak to his business lecture, and then came to this presentation.  He was trying to make amends for how he’d acted earlier in Arthur’s life.  
Gaius had helped explain it, too.  He’d said that Uther had been struck by grief, and stepped away from Arthur to be able to deal with it.  Everyone always said he looked like his mother, and that must have been painful for Uther.

“I grew up fine,” Arthur replied, then paused.  Did he really want to tell his father how wrong he had been?  He knew he needed to.  He’d stood up to him already today, and broke the rules he’d learned through trial-and-error.  He could do this, he could break just once more rule.  “I would have grown up better if I’d had a father instead of an instructor.”

They were outside now, and Uther inched closer to Arthur’s side, to keep their conversation more private.  “I know.  You had to figure everything out for yourself, when I should have been helping.”

Arthur figured that was as close to an apology as Uther was going to get.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t support you in the way you needed.”

Arthur’s eyes widened, and he whipped his head to look at Uther.  “You’re apologizing?”

Uther met his gaze calmly.  “Yes.  I am apologizing.  I was wrong to act the way I did.”  
“Um, right.  Okay.  I thought one of your rules was to never apologize.”  Arthur had, of course, broken that the second time he saw Merlin, but Uther didn’t need to know that.

“Some of my rules are wrong,” Uther replied simply.  “I believed that these rules would help shape you into the young man I wanted you to be.”

“Am I the young man you wanted me to be?”  Arthur asked, looking forward again.  What if his father said yes, and it meant that Arthur had become like his father?  He had always promised himself that he wouldn’t become his father, no matter the cost.  But what if his father said no, and said he wasn’t proud of Arthur?  So much of Arthur’s life had been dedicated to making Uther proud, and he wouldn’t be able to handle the final confirmation that he hadn’t managed it.  He didn’t want to hear the answer.  He didn’t want to be a disappointment to himself _or_ his father, and either one or the other was going to happen.

“You aren’t the young man I wanted you to be,” Uther said.  “You are who you wanted to be, which is more than I could have expected.  I’m proud of you.”

Arthur closed his eyes for a moment, just a moment, then looked over at Uther.  “You’re proud of me?” He sounded like he had when he was 10, asking why his father hadn’t come to his piano recital.  He couldn’t believe how fragile he sounded, but then again, he could.  The boy that had wondered where his father was that night had just wanted to make him proud by playing his piece perfectly.  Arthur still wanted to make him proud, no matter how much pain Uther had caused him.

“I am,” Uther confirmed, and smiled at Arthur.  It looked out of place on Uther’s face; his face was more accustomed to frowns than smiles.  But it was genuine.  Arthur smiled back.

“Now tell me about this Merlin fellow.”

Arthur cleared his throat and blushed slightly. “We’re dating.  We met right before classes started.”

Uther nodded.  “He seems like a nice boy.”

“He is,” Arthur replied.  “He’s great.  He helped me a lot, with some problems I had.”

“Problems that arose from my treatment of you, I suspect.”

Arthur chuckled softly.  “You said it, not me.”

That small smile made another appearance.  “Yes, well.”

“He’s a year younger,” Arthur continued, “But you’d never guess it from looking at him.”

When Uther looked past Arthur, instead of at him, Arthur turned to look.  They were outside the coffee shop, and Merlin was sitting at their usual table by the window.  There were two mugs on the table, and Arthur knew the one furthest from Merlin had his own black coffee in it.  Merlin saw them, and a huge grin broke over his face as he waved.  
Arthur grinned and waved back, then turned his attention back to his father, to find an unexpectedly somber look on his face.

“The two of you remind me of Gaius and me,” Uther told him.  “Without the romance, of course.  But you seem to be very close.”

“We are,” Arthur agreed.  “And Gaius told us a little about how close the two of you were.  You know, it’s not too late to try talking to him again.  He still has Alice.”

“The conspicuous angelfish I gave him,” Uther replied, a hint of shock on his face.  Arthur nodded, smiling widely.  “Well, I’m sure I can give him a call.”

Arthur chuckled and nodded again.  “Right.  You could try visiting in person, too.”

Uther nodded, seeming to accept the advice.  “Well, I should get going, then.  As should you.  I’d hate for your coffee to go cold before you get a chance to enjoy it.  And you shouldn’t keep Merlin waiting.”

Arthur took a moment for the surprise at Uther knowing what he normally drank, then smiled and held out his hand.  He and Uther always parted on a handshake.

But this time, Uther put his hand on Arthur’s shoulder and smiled at him, before drawing Arthur into a hug.

It was awkward.  Uther hadn’t hugged Arthur in 10 years, and he was sure Uther hadn’t hugged anyone else in that time.  Arthur only hugged Merlin anymore.  But Arthur put his arms around his father and clung onto him, as Uther held him tightly.

After a moment they separated, but Arthur knew that that one hug was helping to heal the rift between them.  Uther patted him on the shoulder again, but didn’t take his hand away.

“Send me your research, and the presentation,” Uther told him.  “I’d like to take another look at it, and send it to my investors.  I’d never realized that profits could improve from using this new technology.”

Arthur grinned.  “Of course!  I’ll have Merlin email it, he’s much better with computers.”

Uther nodded, and let go of Arthur’s shoulder, then turned around and walked away.

Arthur turned and went the opposite direction, inside the coffee shop, slipping through the crowd to get to Merlin.

When he reached the table, Merlin stood up to kiss him quickly.  “I see everything with your father went well.”

Arthur smiled, and nodded.  “Yeah.  It went great.  He’s going to start talking to Gaius again.  He said we remind him of Gaius and him.”

Merlin wrinkled his nose.  “Please tell me they didn’t have sex!”

Arthur dropped into his chair, laughing loudly.  “Oh God, Merlin!  No!”  Merlin laughed as well, and sat back down.  Arthur shook his head and took a sip of his drink.  It was coffee, with just a touch of milk and a pinch of sugar, the way Merlin had convinced him to try it.  It was delicious.

Wait, Merlin’s lips had tasted like coffee.  He jerked his head up to look at Merlin.  “You ordered coffee!” he accused, jabbing his finger at Merlin.

Merlin tried to look innocent.  “What?  Of course not.”

“You tasted like coffee!  Don’t try lying to me!”

After another moment of staring each other down, Merlin finally broke.  “All right, all right!  I ordered coffee.   To see if I would like it.”

“And?” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow.  Merlin grinned and took a sip of his drink, and didn’t grimace afterwards.  Arthur smiled and leaned across the table to kiss him again.  “You put a lot of sugar in it.”

“Not all of us are manly men that drink their coffee plain,” Merlin replied, kissing Arthur again.

They drank their coffee, and talked, and traded kisses across their table.  Arthur couldn’t believe that he’d almost missed out on this, because he hadn’t wanted Merlin to know who he was.  It seemed ridiculous now.

He hadn’t thought he’d ever be able to be this happy.  He hadn’t expected, when he’d first took that leap and talked to the cute guy in the fish store, that they’d wind up here.

It must have been destiny.


	45. Epilogue

Merlin stepped out of the elevator on the top floor of the Pendragon Energy offices, twisting the ring on his left hand nervously.  No matter how many presentations he and Arthur did, they always made him nervous.

They had done a _lot_ of presentations.  They’d done that first presentation for their class, a few presentations for Uther, other executives at Pendragon Oil, and then advisors and investors.  They’d presented at Pendragon Oil _as_ an executive and an advisor.  Then as CEO and the head environmental advisor of Pendragon Energy.

 He smiled at Leon, Arthur’s secretary, as he walked past.  Leon nodded back, but put his finger to his lips to tell Merlin to be quiet when he went into Arthur’s office.  He was probably on the phone.

A few months ago, Merlin had burst into Arthur’s office declaring “I’ve been wearing this plug you put in my ass all day and you need to fuck me _now_ ,” then realized too late that Arthur was on a speaker-phone conference call with his father and the other members of the Board of Directors.

Merlin had loved the bright red flush on Arthur’s face, but there were other ways to make him blush like that.  Anything Merlin came up with to try during sex pretty much accomplished that.

So now Leon would let Merlin know when Arthur was on a call, and Merlin could save his inappropriate outbursts for when Arthur was alone, and could actually fuck him over the desk.

Merlin opened the door quietly and waved at Arthur.  Arthur looked up with a smile, then rolled his eyes at whoever he was talking to said something.

“No, Father,” Arthur sighed, and Merlin grinned.  Arthur hated when his father tried to force Arthur into choices he didn’t want.  “I have two candidates for VP of Marketing from within the Marketing department and two from outside the company.  Uncle Agravaine is not nearly as skilled or qualified as any of the four of them.”

Merlin settled in a chair in front of Arthur’s desk, unbuttoning his suit jacket so it wouldn’t get too wrinkled from sitting down.  Arthur always bitched at him when Merlin’s clothes were wrinkled for presentations.

“Father,” Arthur snapped again.  Merlin shivered; Arthur’s take-charge voice was intoxicating.  They’d experimented with that before.  The experiments were a resounding success.  “Father, I am capable of choosing a VP.  I am the CEO and I make the hiring decisions.  Now, I have a presentation for investors in ten minutes.  I’ll speak to you again after I’ve made my decision.”

He slammed the phone down on the receiver and ran his hand through his hair.

“You know you’re going to have to fix your hair, right?” Merlin said lightly.  Arthur tried to scowl at him, but it melted into a smile after a moment.  Merlin was glad he hadn’t lost that skill in the ten years they’d known each other.

“You need to fix your tie,” Arthur retorted.  Merlin patted his chest self-consciously; he’d tied it as best as he could, but he rarely had to tie a tie, and he wasn’t very good at it.  He only wore suits for presentations at Pendragon Energy or when he was begging for more funding from Albion University.  Arthur usually tied it for him, anyway.

“You need to fix your face,” Merlin shot back.  Arthur rolled his eyes.

“How old are you again?” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow.  Merlin chuckled and stood up, walking around the desk so he could start setting Arthur’s hair to rights.

“29,” Merlin replied, grinning so wide his face started to hurt.  “Younger than you, Mister 30-in-two-days.”

Arthur sighed and undid the knot in Merlin’s tie.  “Don’t remind me.  Gwaine is convinced that I have to take thirty shots because I’m turning thirty, even though my birthday’s on a Sunday.”

“Your best bet is probably to just go with it,” Merlin told him sympathetically, brushing Arthur’s hair with his fingers.  Arthur’s wildly expensive shampoo made his hair as soft as silk; Merlin still used the cheap stuff from the corner store, despite their ridiculously high combined salary.  “I can magic most of them into juice, or something.”

Arthur tied Merlin’s tie deftly, then tucked it back under his suit jacket.  “Thanks.  If we’re going to take that holiday next month, I can’t take the day off for a hangover.”

“I’d do anything to preserve that holiday,” Merlin told him, leaning down to kiss him softly.  “I’ve had dreams about you fucking me on the beach again.  It’ll be just like our honeymoon.”

“I don’t want to go into this presentation with a hard on,” Arthur whined.  Merlin knew he would never admit he was whining, but he was.  “Shut up.”

“Make me,” Merlin taunted.  Arthur glanced at his watch, then stood up quickly and forced Merlin to lean back on the desk.  Arthur slipped his arm around Merlin’s waist, tugged him closer, and kissed him roughly.  Merlin put his arms around Arthur’s neck, mindful of his hair, and kissed back.

They didn’t have time for much.  Arthur slid his tongue into Merlin’s mouth, and Merlin wrapped his legs around Arthur’s waist.  They rocked against each other gently, slowly, trying not to get too worked up.  It was failing miserably, at least from Merlin’s perspective.  By the feel of Arthur’s hard cock pressing against Merlin’s thigh, it was failing for him, too.

And then Arthur’s watch beeped.  They pulled away immediately; the beep meant they had five minutes until the presentation.

Arthur stepped back; Merlin hopped off the desk.   They started to make each other look presentable again, straightening clothes and running their fingers through each other’s hair.  This had happened often enough that the straightening up was practiced and quick.

“I still hate presentations,” Merlin murmured, straightening Arthur’s shirt collar.

Arthur smiled and tugged Merlin’s tie straight.  “I know.  Me too.”

“But we have each other,” Merlin offered, taking Arthur’s hand and pushing a little bit of magic to him.  Arthur chuckled softly and brushed his lips over Merlin’s

Merlin closed his eyes, and savored the calmness that washed over him.  For their fifth anniversary last year, Arthur had secretly taken lessons on amplifying and returning magic.  Now, when Merlin sent magic to Arthur, Arthur could send it back.

It helped, in times like this.

“Do you have your notecards?” Merlin asked, pulling away and starting towards the door.

“Of course,” Arthur replied, taking them out of the interior pocket of his jacket.  He didn’t need them as much as he had in the past, but it was always Arthur’s safety net.  Merlin would never dream of taking it away from him.

“Don’t forget we need to stop to get feeders for Kilgarrah,” Merlin said suddenly.  Arthur smiled briefly, and took his hand.  They’d figured out that Merlin presented better when he could get all the nagging worries out of his mind.  Things like errands he had to run distracted him when they were presenting, but the effect was lessened when he’d had a chance to say them outloud.  “And we need to get more food for Aithusa.”

Aithusa was the fish Arthur had bought to replace Gwen, a few weeks after their presentation for Gaius and Uther.  She shared a tank with Kilgarrah in their flat, and there hadn’t been any casualties yet in all 10 years.

“I have that class to teach later, and you have a meeting, so can you pick up some Indian on the way home?” Merlin asked.

Arthur chuckled.  “My meeting was cancelled, so I’ll get home around the same time as you.  Besides, we’re going to have Indian tomorrow with Gwaine and Percival.  _Doctor Who_ night, remember?  We can make pasta.”

Merlin smiled.  “I’ll boil the water.”

“Someday I’ll teach you how to cook properly,” Arthur murmured, kissing Merlin again.

They stopped outside the room the presentation was in.  Arthur flipped through his notecards again, to make sure they were in the right order.  Merlin pushed away all the extra thoughts in his mind and focused on their presentation.

Today, their presentation was for a company that was considering switching to new technology in order to use Pendragon Energy’s new sustainable fuel supply.  It would be a huge step in promoting sustainability to get a company to switch everything over, and this presentation needed to go perfectly.

Their destiny hadn’t been fulfilled by changing Pendragon Energy.  It had only just begun.

And when Arthur smiled at Merlin and squeezed his hand once, before letting go to open the door to the conference room, Merlin’s confidence soared.

“Hello Mr. Escetia,” Arthur said as they stepped into the room, shaking hands with the other CEO.  “I’m Arthur Pendragon, head of Pendragon Energy.”  He gestured to Merlin, who stepped forward to shake the man’s hand as well.  “This is my husband and chief advisor, Merlin.  We’re very glad to be able to speak with you today.”

Merlin went up to the front of the room and took the clicker off of the table, then waited for Arthur to join him by the projection screen before changing to the title slide.

“Our new technology is at the forefront of sustainable energy,” Arthur began, his notecards held by his side, his eyes focused on Mr. Escetia.  “It is also highest-rated for efficiency and cost-effectiveness.”

Merlin watched Arthur for a few moments, letting him settle into the swing of the presentation, before looking out at the representatives for the other company.  A few were taking notes, which he had learned was a good sign.  Mr. Escetia himself had a small smile, nodding along with Arthur’s explanations.

Merlin let a smile spread over his lips.  This presentation was going to be a success.

It had to be; if Merlin could sustain a relationship with Arthur Pendragon for ten years, he could make every company in the world follow proper sustainability standards without even using his magic.  After the first month of their relationship and all its trails, Merlin had come to trust destiny.

**Author's Note:**

> GET THIS STORY AWAY FROM ME
> 
> paperlegends 2013! art link coming soon.
> 
> beta'd by subliminaltwist on tumblr (thank you so much oh my god thanks for putting up with my awful grammar and plethora of commas and ellipses)
> 
> thank you to my emergency support team, brittles and risingmoonflower on tumblr, and my regular supporter subliminaltwist. i owe you guys what's left of my sanity.
> 
> eventually cross-posted to tumblr (same username, same story title)


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